SMS jokes
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Oddmaker
Moderator



Posts: 2590

PostPosted: Mon, 6th Mar 2006 17:46    Post subject: SMS jokes
Post all your SMS jokes in here, I did have loads but deleted them when i didnt mean too. Here's one anyways:

A bear a lion and a chicken sitting talking about who is the hardest. The bear says when i roar the whole forest trembles, the lion says when i roar the whole jungle shakes with fear, the chicken says all i have to do is cough and the whole fucking world shits itself!!

haha Wink


dust.
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Chow




Posts: 228

PostPosted: Mon, 6th Mar 2006 22:35    Post subject:
why sms?? You just told a plain old fucking joke!!
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deelix
PDIP Member



Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Mon, 6th Mar 2006 23:00    Post subject:
Only sms jokes i can is in norwegian...
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kirkblitz
Banned



Posts: 1542

PostPosted: Mon, 6th Mar 2006 23:28    Post subject:
i like the one Very Happy

yay 600 yay Very Happy
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Sublime




Posts: 8615

PostPosted: Mon, 6th Mar 2006 23:36    Post subject:
One I got today...

A french, italian and an irish man were all talking in the pub. The french man goes 'Whenever I kiss the inner thigh of my wife she levitates 6 inches off the bed' The italian man goes 'bah, that's nothing. When I suck my wifes nipples she rises 12 inches!' then the irish man goes 'Well after sex with my wife I wipe my dick all over the curtains and my wife hits the fucking roof!'

there was another one too...

A kid walks into a brothel carrying a dead frog on some string. He goes to the woman at the front nd says 'I want the dirtiest slut you have. One with aids and all the kinds of STD's around' The woman stands there shocked and asks 'Why do you want that?!' then the little boy says 'Well if I get aids then when I kiss my dad he'll get it and pass it onto my mum who will sleep with the postman who's the bastard who killed my frog!'

There was a few shorter 1s too but i've forgot em Smile


Stealth88 and Lod|_Dod| wrote:
"And the winner is.... Sublime!" That fucking kid is always right. Sublime FTW!

http://artpad.art.com/?irqy7s4162w <3 you too
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi



Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
PostPosted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 00:31    Post subject:
Ppl dont send me txt, only girls and its for confirmation on shit. Like a date or they are leaving in 20 mins to meet me etc

Where do u get jokes from?


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kirkblitz
Banned



Posts: 1542

PostPosted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 00:39    Post subject:
Sublime wrote:
One I got today...

A french, italian and an irish man were all talking in the pub. The french man goes 'Whenever I kiss the inner thigh of my wife she levitates 6 inches off the bed' The italian man goes 'bah, that's nothing. When I suck my wifes nipples she rises 12 inches!' then the irish man goes 'Well after sex with my wife I wipe my dick all over the curtains and my wife hits the fucking roof!'

there was another one too...

A kid walks into a brothel carrying a dead frog on some string. He goes to the woman at the front nd says 'I want the dirtiest slut you have. One with aids and all the kinds of STD's around' The woman stands there shocked and asks 'Why do you want that?!' then the little boy says 'Well if I get aids then when I kiss my dad he'll get it and pass it onto my mum who will sleep with the postman who's the bastard who killed my frog!'

There was a few shorter 1s too but i've forgot em Smile


Laughing
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Sublime




Posts: 8615

PostPosted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 04:44    Post subject:
SycoShaman wrote:
Ppl dont send me txt, only girls and its for confirmation on shit. Like a date or they are leaving in 20 mins to meet me etc

Where do u get jokes from?


They just get passed around. They're obviously not as detailed as I wrote but it's the main gist.

There were some other 1s too which i've forgot. Mostly about footy though.


Stealth88 and Lod|_Dod| wrote:
"And the winner is.... Sublime!" That fucking kid is always right. Sublime FTW!

http://artpad.art.com/?irqy7s4162w <3 you too
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Sublime




Posts: 8615

PostPosted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 06:23    Post subject:
just remembered....

What did one pedophile say to the other?
"I'll give you two fives for a ten."


Stealth88 and Lod|_Dod| wrote:
"And the winner is.... Sublime!" That fucking kid is always right. Sublime FTW!

http://artpad.art.com/?irqy7s4162w <3 you too
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Oddmaker
Moderator



Posts: 2590

PostPosted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 11:01    Post subject:
haha


dust.
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Sublime




Posts: 8615

PostPosted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 18:32    Post subject:
some more erm...

what's white and goes up and down in a baby's cot?

A pedophile's arse Very Happy

all day we've been just saying 'michael jackson' as the punchline to everything. It started off between me and my m8 coopa. he goes to toe 'knock knock' toe: 'who's there?' coopa 'Michael jackson' me and coopa started pissin ourselves thaen about 10 seconds later toestarts to laugh too even though he didnt get the joke Very Happy u should try it sometime it's so rediculous Razz


Stealth88 and Lod|_Dod| wrote:
"And the winner is.... Sublime!" That fucking kid is always right. Sublime FTW!

http://artpad.art.com/?irqy7s4162w <3 you too
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fraich3




Posts: 2907
Location: Not from my mouth!
PostPosted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 18:35    Post subject:
Sublime wrote:
all day we've been just saying 'michael jackson' as the punchline to everything. It started off between me and my m8 coopa. he goes to toe 'knock knock' toe: 'who's there?' coopa 'Michael jackson' me and coopa started pissin ourselves thaen about 10 seconds later toestarts to laugh too even though he didnt get the joke Very Happy u should try it sometime it's so rediculous Razz


lol, im so lost that in gonna watch the latest episode *cough* spam *cough*


"Zipfero is the biggest fucking golddigger ever" - Mutantius
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Sublime




Posts: 8615

PostPosted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 18:41    Post subject:
latest episode of what? :/


Stealth88 and Lod|_Dod| wrote:
"And the winner is.... Sublime!" That fucking kid is always right. Sublime FTW!

http://artpad.art.com/?irqy7s4162w <3 you too
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UserFriendly7
Moderator



Posts: 1471
Location: England
PostPosted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 18:42    Post subject:
Here's a few I got:

A tramp walks into a jewellers and begins to finger his own arse, the jeweller screams GET OUT! The tramp points to the sign - COME IN & PICK YOUR RING IN COMFORT!

In a recent survey into blow jobs, and why men like it so much. 6% liked the feeling, 12% liked the excitement and 82% just like the fucking silence!

Young iraqi lad signs pro contract at liverpool fc ..scores hat trick on debut and gets carried off shoulder hight .. he rings home all excited 2 tell his mum the good news and asks how the family are ..how are we says his mum ..the house has been bombed your dads been shot your sister raped and ive been mugged and robbed at gunpoint...why the fuck did you bring us 2 liverpool.


 Spoiler:
 
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deelix
PDIP Member



Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 19:15    Post subject:
sex, drugs rock'n roll, speed weed birthcontrol. Life its a bitch, and then you die so fuck the world and lets get high

Its old, i know, sue me, shoot me!!
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CobbMk2




Posts: 1111

PostPosted: Tue, 7th Mar 2006 19:24    Post subject:
Welsh farmer walks into his wife's room with a sheep under his arm.

Farmer: "this is the pig I have to fuck if you don't put out"
Wife: "no dear, that's a sheep not a pig"
Farmer: "I was talking to the sheep"
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