Fuck me it hurts. My eyes are watering and my nose is running. In fact, my upper right eyelid is burning so bad like like the entrance to my right nostril. 
Why?
I ordered a late night pizza. I always keep at least a bottle or two of Poppamie's Fire Demon hot sauce. It's carolina reaper + chili extract, basically 11/10 in heat. It's the hottest sauce I've managed to find that I don't have to import from the US. 
I didn't notice that I had gotten a little on my right index finger. I only knew once I had scratched my eye and nose.
Oh well, it's not the first time and most likely not the last time either. Anyway, the pizza was good.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
"The sky was the color of a TV tuned to a dead station" - Neuromancer