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whassup
Banned
Posts: 15
Location: devon uk
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 Posted: Wed, 18th Jun 2008 23:34 Post subject: Joke |
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Next time you're having a bad day, imagine this;
You're a Siamese twin
Your brother, attached to your shoulder, is gay
You're not
He has a date coming over tonight
You only have one arse
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Wed, 18th Jun 2008 23:44 Post subject: |
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LeoNatan
☢ NFOHump Despot ☢
Posts: 73196
Location: Ramat Gan, Israel 🇮🇱
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| Posted: Wed, 18th Jun 2008 23:51 Post subject: |
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 Hi Juba!
Nice joke btw!  |
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whassup
Banned
Posts: 15
Location: devon uk
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| Posted: Wed, 18th Jun 2008 23:55 Post subject: |
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who is juba ?????????
I think u got the wrong person !
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LeoNatan
☢ NFOHump Despot ☢
Posts: 73196
Location: Ramat Gan, Israel 🇮🇱
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| Posted: Thu, 19th Jun 2008 00:00 Post subject: |
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Of course. My mistake
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whassup
Banned
Posts: 15
Location: devon uk
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| Posted: Thu, 19th Jun 2008 00:01 Post subject: |
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PMT?
My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood
ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in
a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big
f*cking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.
........
My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This
will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the
bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.
..........
A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you
the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss
you."
.........
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumour.
..........
He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make
Love to you really badly. She said - Well, you've succeeded.
...........
He said 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'. She said
'That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I
sit on the sofa and fart'.
.............
Q: Why do men want to marry virgins?
A: They can't stand criticism.
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whassup
Banned
Posts: 15
Location: devon uk
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| Posted: Thu, 19th Jun 2008 00:03 Post subject: |
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The world's best chain letter?
INSTRUCTIONS.
Anesthetise your girlfriend, put her in a large carton, (don't forget
some ventilation holes), and send it to the person who is at the top
of your list.
Soon, your name will be at the top of the list, and you will
receive 823,542 women through the post. Statistically, among those
women, will be at least:
0.5 Miss Worlds
2.5 Models
463 Wild nymphos
3,234 Good-looking nymphos
20,198 Who enjoy multiple orgasms
40,198 Bi-sexual women.
In total, that is 64,294 women who are simply hornier, less
inhibited, and tastier than the grumpy old bag you posted off. And, best
of all, your original package is guaranteed not to be one of those that
come back to you.
DO NOT BREAK THIS CHAIN LETTER.
One bloke for example who sent the letter to only 5 instead of
9 of his friends got his original bird back, still in the old dressing gown he sent her off in, with the same old migraine attack, and the
accusing expression on her face.
On the same day, the international supermodel he'd been living
with since he sent off his old girlfriend moved out to live with his
best friend (to whom he had not sent the chain letter). While I am
sending this letter, the bloke that is in 6th place above me has
already received 837 women and is lying in hospital suffering from
exhaustion. Outside his ward are 452 more packages.
YOU MUST BELIEVE THIS MESSAGE.
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