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 Posted: Sat, 3rd Sep 2016 15:01 Post subject: How do you deal with loosing a parent |
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My mom died in april this year, and its been a strange experience before and after the fact.
I loved my mom very much, she was a very strict woman, and i hated her just as much.
She died of cancer after 2 years, 80 years old. Im 28 now and i feel so lost after the fact. We both knew , my dad and i that it was coming, the last 2 weeks of her life were a nightmare, so was the funeral, a blur of events.
But slowly, as time passes by, i feel more lost, confused even. I didn't cry ever since, but i feel so empty ever since, like she didn't die, but at the same time i know she DIED.
Is this normal ? Should i seek help ?
Ever since i kinda took refuge in alcohol, like its the only thing i find pleasure in, it makes me forget things, go to sleep easier. I can barely lift my self from the bed in the morning to drink and smoke at my pc.
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Sep 2016 15:11 Post subject: |
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Last edited by paxsali on Thu, 4th Jul 2024 21:24; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Sep 2016 15:22 Post subject: |
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80 years? She had a long life then, be grateful for the time you had.
Jeez, both my parents didn't even make 55. It's always blurred and surreal especially in the period surrounding the deaths.
But given enough time, normally it gets better and the events of the past feel more and more distant.
If you are one of the people then that instead just go deeper down the hole, then yes, seek professional help.
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Sep 2016 15:42 Post subject: |
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As someone who lost his mother at the age of 13 where her last year was hell, just seek help and see if it does you any good. Or try to talk about it with someone close to you.
I know my family didn't and it fucked me and my sister up for life
Empty again 
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Sep 2016 17:49 Post subject: |
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I think it's normal. When you lose the person you feel shocked, but that's not the worst moment, you're just numb. Worst comes later, when you start missing that person. When you'd normally see her, ask her something, etc.
It gets easier with time, but it never goes away.
Seek help, I didn't but maybe I should have.
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51425
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Sep 2016 19:18 Post subject: |
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Drop the booze and seek help men
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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HIz
Posts: 2187
Location: Wrong_Timeline
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Sep 2016 19:24 Post subject: |
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What Toni said !!!
You probably are depressed, so the more drop alcohol and get some help.
Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, man. 
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Sep 2016 19:59 Post subject: |
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I lost three grandparents in three consecutive years, it feels very strange when someone is just gone. I know it's not the same as a parent, not by a long shot I assume, but it still hurts like hell. As for not crying, I think that's perfectly normal. My youngest uncle, who lived with his parents until he got married, didn't shed one single tear. From the way he talked and sat, I knew he was broken inside. Probably much more broken than my aunts who cried their eyes out.
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Ankh
Posts: 23349
Location: Trelleborg
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Sep 2016 20:18 Post subject: |
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My father took his own life 9 months ago.
shitloads of new stuff in my pc. Cant keep track of it all.
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couleur
[Moderator] Janitor
Posts: 14361
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Sep 2016 20:30 Post subject: |
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I sat near my last grandmother when she died. Saw her draw her last breath. No tears, but probably the weirdest feeling I've ever had. My father cried. I hat to consolate him.
"Enlightenment is man's emergence from his self-imposed nonage. Nonage is the inability to use one's own understanding without another's guidance. This nonage is self-imposed if its cause lies not in lack of understanding but in indecision and lack of courage to use one's own mind without another's guidance. Dare to know! (Sapere aude.) "Have the courage to use your own understanding," is therefore the motto of the enlightenment."
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Sep 2016 22:21 Post subject: |
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| couleur wrote: | | I sat near my last grandmother when she died. Saw her draw her last breath. No tears, but probably the weirdest feeling I've ever had. My father cried. I hat to consolate him. |
Yep, a very strange feeling. My grandmother died of cancer at her home, we just sat there until they came to take her body.
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Sep 2016 02:51 Post subject: |
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I was with my dad. He was in a coma from several health problems (mostly alzheimer's). I was holding his hand and I told him everything would be alright. He kinda had a spasm in his hand and held mine with some strenght, I don't know if he was listening, probably not. It was a strange feeling. After he died I just felt empty for quite a while.
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| Posted: Sun, 4th Sep 2016 14:35 Post subject: |
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| Invasor wrote: | | I was with my dad. He was in a coma from several health problems (mostly alzheimer's). I was holding his hand and I told him everything would be alright. He kinda had a spasm in his hand and held mine with some strenght, I don't know if he was listening, probably not. It was a strange feeling. After he died I just felt empty for quite a while. |
hearing is the last sense to go from what ive read.
still trying to make sense of why my dad died the way he did, got to wait for the inquest that might be held.
I'm still very upset about the whole thing and miss him every day.
The night is dark and the road is long. Come on dead men, return to your homes.
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