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couleur
[Moderator] Janitor
Posts: 14369
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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 Posted: Wed, 12th Nov 2014 22:33 Post subject: |
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65097
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Wed, 12th Nov 2014 23:14 Post subject: |
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"Hi cutie, I'm Ana Paula, what's your name?"
"Ah hey...I'm...well my name is Lopin! Pleased to meet you! Let's drink something and have a talk hehe"
"ok, sounds nice!  "
[five minutes later]
"Because gurl you need to know, the fucking government is screwing us on daily basis! So much ineptitude, corrupt fucks everywhere, it's fucking engrossing!
My job sucks balls, I can't take it anymore! and my house is full of goddamn cockroaches, thank god the only lady that I care about, my car, is doing great"
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Wed, 12th Nov 2014 23:56 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Thu, 13th Nov 2014 00:07 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Thu, 13th Nov 2014 00:17 Post subject: |
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu, 13th Nov 2014 02:48 Post subject: Re: Holy crap. im an oddball |
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| Lopin18 wrote: | Im currently an extreme social oddball when it comes to dealing with chicks. After being single for some months after 5 years in that relationship im used to being honest open direct when i speak and that has brought me a shit ton of problems and misinterpretations. Even my way of threating topics backfires like hell.
Holy crap.  fuck no. Maybe my social circles are wrong.... |
Naw, your not in the 'wrong circles' man.
I've given advice on women since I joined the site in 98. If someone wants to dig up a thread where i gave a buncha advice, go for it.
Let me ask you some questions.
Do you feel nervous and or insecure talking to a woman you thinks is beautiful or hot?
Do you not know what to say, what do with your hands etc?
Im not bragging or anything, but ive never had problems when it comes to women. ive dated models before (my cousin is in the fashion industry in France and works between Paris, Montreal and NYC, she would set me up with em).
I've also picked up 'the hottest girl in the club' type of thing my whole adult life.
So i can give you some tips/advice if you want as it really isn't hard.
Only 2 ways to go about it, player style or simply being yourself.
Let me know if you want any advice man |
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| Posted: Thu, 13th Nov 2014 04:05 Post subject: |
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Ive never really been an "out" person, so that puts me at a huge disadvantage, i rarely go out so i limit myself occasional meetings. But when im in front of someone im ok, i talk and i mix up well with people.
Since i came out of a 5 years relationship and now i do go out etc i keep dragging my way of talking too clearly and openly, so some women have judged me, thats where i go "wtf"
Insecure, nope, nervous, nope, topics, yea maybe i take some complicated topics to talk about and that alienates some people, gotta avoid that. Im coming off too serious i think.
Its the custom of the way i had talking and treating my ex. Too much trust and understanding now im sticking it to everyone.
But i do have my critical down points: I dont dance (huge down point for our "culture" of dating), i chat too much (too much fking free time), skinny. That cuts down my "fun" appeal.
I tried being myself, which is too much and i know it hahahaha, im going to lay back a bit and just have fun, talk, go out, eat, talk crap, and flirt without so much seriousness in the talk. Should work, but sadly i really wanted to hit it off with these chicks talking seriously and i backfired, badly. Ugh, and i seriously like my way of being serious, i cut all the chase and i dont bullshit around, sadly when you are being measured it doesnt seem so "true" comes off as "desperate"
Ill come back later, lets see the next meetings how they'll go.
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu, 13th Nov 2014 06:28 Post subject: |
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Well, if you're not insecure or nervous around a beautiful woman, that is a huge plus as lots of men are.
And I know how you feel. My exwife did a number on me (the older members know what i am talking about, to much to get into).
And I was trepedaious for a good year. I stuck to one nighters.
Like you, I trusted her and she abused that trust in an incredibly crazy way(s).
But being yourself, stick with that. Maybe on the first date/connection, don't talk a bunch about things that piss your off or are negative in regards to yourself.
But bare in mind, as lots of men don't seem to get this, beautiful women are hit on a lot, but usually by cheesy ass, egotistical dickheads.
But if you approach a woman, be confident and humourous as they appreciate that the most.
And if you compliment her, make it seem like an off hand comment ie 'Oh Lisa, by the way, your hair/eyes/shoes/dress etc look really nice. They compliment 'insert whatever'
And if she turns out to be shallow ie wanting to know about your finances, what kinda car you drive etc, fuck those women. Not worth the effort imo.
Also, a lot of beautiful women are shy because they get cat called all the time. So in a sense, they are somewhat jaded.
So right away, they are a little defensive.
Act casual, be humourous ofc and relieve her tension (which is different than breaking the ice).
Talk to her like you would take to a woman at work or in a professional setting or a woman you aren't really into (even tho you are).
Once she warms to you, then start with the charm. Don't lay it on thick of course. Casually charm her.
And I've always been frank and have never used cheesy lines.
Desperation isn't how you speak or, to some degree, what you say, its non verbal stuff that leads a person to think you're desperate.
How you hold yourself (shoulders back, stand straight), how you speak (no 'um's' or anything like that), don't fidget with your hands or eyes.
And always, maintain eye contact. Don't look everywhere but her eyes, Granted, I'm not saying stare at her, but keep you're demeanor light and keep the eye contact going
I know this sounds like common sense, but most guys who have problems with women tend to turn into wallflowers.
Hell, its better if you do something stupid and then make a joke about it...showing her you are relaxed, easy going and not afraid to be 'stupid'.
Plus, doing that, you can gauge if she is into you right. Based on her actions and comments.
If you want to anything specific, just ask me homie
And remember, no woman is out of your league. Like I said, if their priorities are money and shit like that, it's not worth charming her as she isn't worth it.
Whats the use of being with an 8-10 woman if she is a) shallow b) stupid as in not intelligent c) selfish and self serving.
No man wants that...aside from older guys who want a hot young, 20 something trophy gf/wife.
Anyway, hope some of this helps. Like I said, if you want to know something specific, just ask man.
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| Posted: Thu, 13th Nov 2014 23:18 Post subject: |
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Ouch, i know i broke off with my ex, its was a healthy decision but i dont stop loving someone so easily i just live with it along with my decisions as rational thinking > feelings, hell if she had learned and matured i would have tried again later.
But today i was told she has someone else now, well that hurt on the moment, had not felt something like that in quite a few years, but its fair, we broke off months ago. Still, fuck.
Guess ill never really be strong in that aspect of letting go. But i carry on, i suppose that gives it an extra closure.
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu, 13th Nov 2014 23:40 Post subject: |
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| Lopin18 wrote: | Ouch, i know i broke off with my ex, its was a healthy decision but i dont stop loving someone so easily i just live with it along with my decisions as rational thinking > feelings, hell if she had learned and matured i would have tried again later.
But today i was told she has someone else now, well that hurt on the moment, had not felt something like that in quite a few years, but its fair, we broke off months ago. Still, fuck.
Guess ill never really be strong in that aspect of letting go. But i carry on, i suppose that gives it an extra closure. |
I can tell you from personal experience that one day, you will realize you haven't thought about her in a long ass time and when you do, you won't get sad over it.
Hell, just ONE of the crazy things my exwife did was slit my wrists in my sleep because SHE DREAMED I cheated on her...wtf eh?
Combined with everything else, took a long time to actually let go.
But it will pass.
Even if you stay single for a while, the feelings will pass
If you're truly done with her, never speak to her again. Thats what I finally did with my exwife.
And now I love running into her and her next husband....boy she has gotten old and fat (shes 5 years old than me, im 37 and she is 42, with 3 kids and a dumbass ugly husband...dumbass as in actually not intelligent).
Me on the other hand, best shape of my life because of martial arts (28 years ive been training) and my wife is 30 years old, ex gymnast who does yoga, cardio and spin classes everyday and is in tip top shape and also, very beautiful facially.
So when I do run into my exwife on rare occasions, haha, she always ends up getting mad and throwing a fit....cuz she is still fucking bat shit crazy. I feel bad for her kids...a mother like that and her mother is just as nuts, been married 11+ times
Anyway, I hope (and really, know) the feelings disappear soon rather than later
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Nov 2014 04:45 Post subject: |
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Nah, the pain was a moment's thing, its the pain of the realization that it happened and that it breaks the ideas you had about a person, we always talked about waiting a long time after breaking up, love lives on etc etc etc but we play a fair game.
Luckily ive gone through this stage before and it was WAAAAYYYY worse than this, i know better today. I just killed my illusions and on we go.
Edit: Oh yea, thanks for all the support always, you guys have a lot more life experiences than me, so its nice to read your opinions, i rarely have access to people this level to talk etc, so its really a nice place to open up.
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Nov 2014 06:26 Post subject: |
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Anytime man
I know lil about a lot but I do know some things extremely well.
Women for one. My job ofc and am a literal expert in martial arts.
I have a 4th Dan in Hapkido/Combat Hapkido, Shotokan and Chito Ryu and a 2nd dan in Brazilian Ju Jit su and in Traditional Ju Jit su.
Gunna go for my 3rd dan in Brazilian/Gracie Ju jit su in the new year.
And Im hoping to fast track my Master's test (5th Dan) for Hapkido.
I have to wait 6 years before I can go for my 5th in Shotokan and Chito Ryu and I gotta go to Japan for 2-3 months I believe...the whole thing is kept secret even tho I know a lot of 5th dan's (master rank).
All I know is you basically go over and you start out as a white belt and go through everything up to what you need to know for Master.
And you have to prove you a) have trained a decent amount of people to 1st Dan or higher (which I have, i currently have 3 student all 1st Dans in Shotokan and Chito Ryu) and ive trained others....plus i used to do alot of training of cops, bodyguards and private military contractors. I don't do that anymore tho.
Well, rarely, usually as a favour to someone.
Ive already proven that I am a world class competitor (I have numerous Canadain and American championships and 2 world championships, all full contact....before the stupid wave of 'MMA'...thats a whole diff discussion and MMA IS NOT a style and..well nm lol) so I just have to show up to the occasional tournament and be a judge (I usually Judge the 18-25 year old black belt full contact open divisions).
I hate Kata's (Forms). They are good for newbies to learn the basics and traditional basics...but practically, from a real life combat scenario, most of it is useless.
Anyway, yeah, in case you were wondering
On TOPIC
yeah man, I know exactly what you mean. Someone tells you they love you, they make love to you (not just sex), tell you all sorts of intimate things and then they do something that makes you question everything.
And ofc, after the relationship, trusting another person is hard. Most people project their previous relationship probs on their first rebound relationship.
Took me a few years ti get passed what my ex-wife did.
I mean, some of the shit she did I told her specifically not to do yet she did it anyway. That's spite to me...BUT it was at a time when we were supposedly happy.
Anyway, i've polluted this forum with my ex-wife bitching/story telling long ago, not gunna do it again
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sanchin
Posts: 764
Location: Poland
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Nov 2014 09:34 Post subject: |
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Just wondering under who are you 2nd dan in BJJ?
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Ankh
Posts: 23352
Location: Trelleborg
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| Posted: Fri, 14th Nov 2014 18:46 Post subject: |
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Cant explain why i chose that word lol, treating the topic, is that right?. Lets say "talking"
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| Posted: Mon, 17th Nov 2014 04:04 Post subject: |
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 Still hurts, fuck me, im too weak in these things. Im officially an idiot in matters of moving on. Whats worst is that i now know shes in a relationship. Understanding that its logical and knowing it is a different spike to the mind, doesnt matter if i know that the ex-relationship was broken. I guess i pay too much mind to shit. Good thing i have learned how to handle this, and the pain comes and goes when i give into the thoughts. That stupid positive idea that she could change and realize her mistakes etc is whats keeping trapped in this shit. I guess thats my weakness in this ordeal.
Fuck!!!!!! The worst part is that its this damn loneliness at home that keeps me going back to these stupid ideas and thoughts. I wish i could change this secluded circle i live in but it will take time.
Oh well, now its only me and my mother at home, expenses will go down fast, ill have more moving around money, ill start a gym in january, ill work on my personality, im still too closed in my own world, that should make me feel better about myself and comfortable. I can only hope this shit passes fast, i need to accept my reality, cant explain why i keep going in circles..
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Nov 2014 17:20 Post subject: |
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| xxax wrote: | | Just wondering under who are you 2nd dan in BJJ? |
Im not naming the guy I train with as i might as give out my phone number, address, nude pics of wife etc |
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Nov 2014 17:25 Post subject: |
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| sanchin wrote: | | SycoShaman wrote: |
I hate Kata's (Forms). They are good for newbies to learn the basics and traditional basics...but practically, from a real life combat scenario, most of it is useless. |
Yeah, they're useless, but if done properly - they can look beautiful  Almost like a dance (which basically it is - specific choreography of moves). |
Exactly, they look good, like a dance.
And, they are good for teaching new people the basics. Stances, movements etc
But in a true self defense sense, useless.
Sadly, when I go for 5th dan in Shotokan and Chito Ryu (have to go to Japan, not for 6 years or so but still), I have know all of em 
And not just know them, but traditional....so no modified anything.
Gunna start training for that 2 years before I go.
I barely remeber the katas as it is.
I only teach people who have at least 1st Dan's in some other style (aside from Taekwondo, useless MA...a BB in TKD is a white belt in Hapkido) and I teach Combat (combat Hapkido as a base).
Katas server no real purpose once someone knows the basics well enough to be a BB |
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What i saw.... NOPE
