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| Aeon will soon be a father of a baby that is not his own |
| Yes! (He will get a relationship) |
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38% |
[ 12 ] |
| He will be friendzoned again |
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32% |
[ 10 ] |
| No! (It won't work out between the two) |
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29% |
[ 9 ] |
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| Total Votes : 31 |
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 Posted: Sat, 11th Jan 2014 22:31 Post subject: |
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tell her while she waits for love, sex makes for some interesting time passer 
or when she says "let's just be friends", you ask "with benefits?"
| Lutzifer wrote: | | and yes, mine is only average |
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| Posted: Sat, 11th Jan 2014 22:33 Post subject: |
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just stay away, "they" have given me a life of grief and endless headache's, buy a pet instead and use "professionals" if you feel the urge
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Aeon
Posts: 8700
Location: Netherlands
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65085
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Sat, 11th Jan 2014 22:49 Post subject: |
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Damn it :< Sorry to hear that..
Have patience my Aeona
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 09:55 Post subject: |
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Damn shame man, I was so hoping for you. Keep doing what you are doing, things will work out in the end.
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VonMisk
Posts: 9468
Location: Hatredland
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 10:17 Post subject: |
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Fuck this shit. Just find yourself some hot MILF or a divorcee. Complement her from time to time, help with a few house chores and she will melt in your fingers like butter on a hot summer day.
sar·casm | \ ˈsär-ˌka-zəm \
1: a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2a: a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual
b: the use or language of sarcasm
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Aeon
Posts: 8700
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 14:44 Post subject: |
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| Aeon wrote: | | She probably will say to keep me as a very good friend, but I don't really like that. That would be the third time then a girl says that too me. |
Oh man, I ranted about that in my thread here a couple of weeks ago; I also had that happen recently from an amazing girl.
We went out once more last week and spoke about it again, because she really does want to keep me as a friend apparently, but I told her straight up that there is no space in our "relationship" for a middle-ground solution. All or nothing basically.
Staying "friends" with someone you truly have feelings for is really shitty and can ruin your mind, and we all know that. *cough* sellob *cough*
Still, maybe to cheer you up, here is how the rest of that night went this saturday, it really made me feel better as well:
We were a group of 9 people and doing a tour through several bars. On the way between bars I had that talk with her, and after she got what I meant and told me it wouldn't happen, the spark is just missing for her, I just sent her home. She was also close to tears, but what can you do. I then joined my friends in the next bar and proceeded to get drunk, messaging with someone on my phone, when a random girl just came up to me and asked me what I did on my phone. So we started talking a bit, and she is also quite nice and we'll go out in a few days. This had never happened to me before; a really nice girl just forcing herself on me out of nowhere.
So I guess the takeaway is... go into a bar totally emotional with a long face, get drunk and text on your phone and good things will happen to you? I don't know, but things will get better. 
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Stige
Posts: 3545
Location: Finland
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 14:58 Post subject: |
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^I have had similiar experiences with Xenthalon 
Although pretty much always I'm sober when in a bar but after I did some changes in my life, always keep on good clothes, got rid of my glasses and shit, I have actually had chicks come tell me I'm handsome like wtf, I have NEVER heard that in my life before that, ever!
Only reason I really stick with friends in a bar when sober And the fact that I would rather be anywhere but home alone really at this point.
Also fucking hate these "lets be friends" chicks you actually like a lot, it just won't work out that way, one of the reasons I'm in no way associated with my ex anymore, it was "all or nothing" like Xenthalon said and it's nothing now, won't work any other way on my end atleast.
And then there are some people who just won't leave you alone! Like this 30 year old MILF from next town...
Shame I don't like skinny people, might otherwise actually like here.
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 15:54 Post subject: |
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If you don't have feelings (chemistry) it's not bad to stay friends if you find them interesting. You might get to know new people through her and that can lead you to other interesting people or maybe even hookups.
Having some fun with interesting people once in a while is at least better than just searching for relationships. I was always single when I was actively searching, and the times I started a relationship was always when I was just having a nice time not even searching for love. 
Not that I have that much experience in hooking up, only had long term relationships in my life.
You'll be at your best when you are just enjoying yourself and not constant questioning what the other might think of you. You'll notice it when you hit it off, if you have to question then most likely it will be a false start anyway.
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 17:31 Post subject: |
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The "keeping people around to meet new ones through them" I did 3 years ago, when I got out of my long-lasting highschool relationship. Now I have enough friends and can allow myself to send someone like her off. Especially since I had the feeling that she'd like to get to know more people through me. And that would just have been terrible.
But I agree, if you do have a small social circle, try first to make lots of friends (especially female ones) without chasing after every single one of them.
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Stige
Posts: 3545
Location: Finland
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 18:32 Post subject: |
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| Xenthalon wrote: | The "keeping people around to meet new ones through them" I did 3 years ago, when I got out of my long-lasting highschool relationship. Now I have enough friends and can allow myself to send someone like her off. Especially since I had the feeling that she'd like to get to know more people through me. And that would just have been terrible.
But I agree, if you do have a small social circle, try first to make lots of friends (especially female ones) without chasing after every single one of them. |
I think you might have a point there
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Aeon
Posts: 8700
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 18:38 Post subject: |
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My social circle is very small and has no females in it. So, I should consider staying friends then?
Intel i7 6700K, RTX470 Super, Kingston HyperX Fury 32GB
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RatKing
Posts: 1212
Location: Nondescript cave in the land of the polar bears, Finland
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 18:44 Post subject: |
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At least keep in touch with her. You don't have to be "best friends for life".
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MapHtH
Posts: 74
Location: Enclave Oil Rig
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 18:57 Post subject: |
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Actually, try to keep her as a friend, but don't invest too much energy in that.
Meet up new girls, and remember, stay misterious and somewhat indecisive about if she is that atractive to you. That makes them try to impress you, and you don't have to do everything yourself, plus that attracts girls.
Save romance for when you're already dating a girl for a month or so and she already likes you. (as in real, not over the net or something like that)
"... and the world will become my playground."
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Aeon
Posts: 8700
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 19:33 Post subject: |
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Just had the phonecall and as I said before: she wants to stay friends. And usually when they say that, they say it like they don't really mean it or something, but she definitely meant it. She would be very sad if I would brake contact right away, so I'm not going to do that. Doesn't really feel right to me also to brake contact because she's really not a stereotype girl. She always has been honest with me, I could talk about anything with her and I feel comfortable around her. A lot of women can learn from her, because they make up lame excuses, lie to you, only to save themselves.
So, that's the verdict. Another chapter closed and a new one begins. I'm just glad I'm actually able to deal with it and that this was a very good lesson once again. There is still a lot too improve and I have to flip that switch to think less and do more when it comes to approaching women, etc.
You guys were amazing once again and I got a lot of good feedback from you guys which I will definitely will use next time.
Intel i7 6700K, RTX470 Super, Kingston HyperX Fury 32GB
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Jan 2014 19:42 Post subject: |
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| Aeon wrote: | | My social circle is very small and has no females in it. So, I should consider staying friends then? |
Yeah, if, as you said earlier, it's not painful to you, stay friends. Go out with her and her friends and bring some of your buddies along if they are not totally socially inept, and you have your own party group!
I got into several seperate groups of girls by getting their facebook contact from one of them each at uni parties, and then just boldly asked via fb a couple of weeks later if I could hang out with them this evening, because none of my buddies had time. None of them ever declined, it just requires some self-confidence to go out alone with a group of girls. Just chillax, don't hit on any of them and just be yourself. Some of them I consider to be among my best friends now.
Post-phonecall edit: cool, keep at it
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| Posted: Tue, 14th Jan 2014 00:19 Post subject: |
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Well i didn't read everything but my opinion is this... You are too keen and you put the girls off. You are trying too hard. I mean poetry is all fine and good but i think the girls get scared since they feel burdened. They think "man this guy is really going all out and i'm not that into him yet, i should break this off before it gets too serious." Just tone it down a little bit. When you go on the next date, go have fun hanging out with that person and just talk and shit. Flirty a little that's fine but don't come off as desperately wanting a girlfriend. These things take time and you need to give the girl some space to figure things out.
I once date a girl who was older than me, very hot and AMAZING in bed. But she broke up with a guy a year ago and she told me they were kinda planing to have a kid. So when i came along she kinda went with that mindset into it, so in 2 months time while we were dating i was at the having sex all day doing fuck all stage while she was already thinking of moving in together. Didn't work of course. Plus she was rather boring but that's a different matter.
So my advice would be calm down. If it works out it will and it will come naturally. Don't do anymore poetry on the first date. When you're with someone for a certain amount of time and the feelings are mutual, then go for it, but for now you're just too much for them, especially if they are quite young. Take the laidback approach, it works much better. Just try to be yourself as much as possible because people tend to act way to much when dating. If they like you and say there is no chemistry, in your case, i think they mean i think you are way more into me than i am into you.
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Aeon
Posts: 8700
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Tue, 14th Jan 2014 20:41 Post subject: |
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| Aeon wrote: | You got it all right I think though if I did it different with this girl, it would have ended up the same way. And the reason I like to do things like the poem for example is trying to be different then those other guys, but I agree it was too soon. I could do it anyway, but later.
I'm going to take it slower next time, that's for sure. |
If you wanna be different, take them to interesting dates and not the cliche zoo, movie, coffee, dinner. I took my current GF of 3 years for our second date to the planetarium as they have laser shows (pink floyd), that blew her away because in her words "who the fuck thinks of that". The poem shit comes on too strong, it makes you different but in a creepy clingy kind of way not creative.
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garus
VIP Member
Posts: 34200
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| Posted: Tue, 14th Jan 2014 20:52 Post subject: |
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| readonly wrote: | | Aeon wrote: | You got it all right I think though if I did it different with this girl, it would have ended up the same way. And the reason I like to do things like the poem for example is trying to be different then those other guys, but I agree it was too soon. I could do it anyway, but later.
I'm going to take it slower next time, that's for sure. |
If you wanna be different, take them to interesting dates and not the cliche zoo, movie, coffee, dinner. I took my current GF of 3 years for our second date to the planetarium as they have laser shows (pink floyd), that blew her away because in her words "who the fuck thinks of that". The poem shit comes on too strong, it makes you different but in a creepy clingy kind of way not creative. |
Yeah, taking her somewhere else would definitely make the chemistry pop out of nowhere.
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Tue, 14th Jan 2014 21:02 Post subject: |
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| readonly wrote: | | If you wanna be different, take them to interesting dates and not the cliche zoo, movie, coffee, dinner. I took my current GF of 3 years for our second date to the planetarium as they have laser shows (pink floyd), that blew her away because in her words "who the fuck thinks of that". The poem shit comes on too strong, it makes you different but in a creepy clingy kind of way not creative. |
Looking at the times now I'd say the cliché stuff is: clubs, parties and bars.  |
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| Posted: Tue, 14th Jan 2014 21:24 Post subject: |
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| readonly wrote: | | Aeon wrote: | You got it all right I think though if I did it different with this girl, it would have ended up the same way. And the reason I like to do things like the poem for example is trying to be different then those other guys, but I agree it was too soon. I could do it anyway, but later.
I'm going to take it slower next time, that's for sure. |
If you wanna be different, take them to interesting dates and not the cliche zoo, movie, coffee, dinner. I took my current GF of 3 years for our second date to the planetarium as they have laser shows (pink floyd), that blew her away because in her words "who the fuck thinks of that". |
Everybody has different tastes. Take someone to the planetarium who has absolutely zero interest in stars and other universes at all and it is as boring as the cinema. Coffee and shit is fine because it's all about to get to know each other and IMO visiting the Zoo is a great idea, but that's just my opinion.
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| Posted: Tue, 14th Jan 2014 22:18 Post subject: |
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| readonly wrote: | | Aeon wrote: | You got it all right I think though if I did it different with this girl, it would have ended up the same way. And the reason I like to do things like the poem for example is trying to be different then those other guys, but I agree it was too soon. I could do it anyway, but later.
I'm going to take it slower next time, that's for sure. |
If you wanna be different, take them to interesting dates and not the cliche zoo, movie, coffee, dinner. I took my current GF of 3 years for our second date to the planetarium as they have laser shows (pink floyd), that blew her away because in her words "who the fuck thinks of that". The poem shit comes on too strong, it makes you different but in a creepy clingy kind of way not creative. |
Did they play high hors... I mean high hopes? 
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| Posted: Tue, 14th Jan 2014 22:33 Post subject: |
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| flipp wrote: | | readonly wrote: | | Aeon wrote: | You got it all right I think though if I did it different with this girl, it would have ended up the same way. And the reason I like to do things like the poem for example is trying to be different then those other guys, but I agree it was too soon. I could do it anyway, but later.
I'm going to take it slower next time, that's for sure. |
If you wanna be different, take them to interesting dates and not the cliche zoo, movie, coffee, dinner. I took my current GF of 3 years for our second date to the planetarium as they have laser shows (pink floyd), that blew her away because in her words "who the fuck thinks of that". |
Everybody has different tastes. Take someone to the planetarium who has absolutely zero interest in stars and other universes at all and it is as boring as the cinema. Coffee and shit is fine because it's all about to get to know each other and IMO visiting the Zoo is a great idea, but that's just my opinion. |
A ZOO is a good idea because you can at least talk. When i date i want to know the girl and i want her to like me, i sure as hell don't want her to stare at some lightshow for three hours. I can do that with friends or with her when she is my girlfriend.
But different approaches work for different people.
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| Posted: Tue, 14th Jan 2014 22:58 Post subject: |
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| xxax wrote: | | When i date i want to know the girl and i want her to like me, i sure as hell don't want her to stare at some lightshow for three hours. |
That's the same reason why I wouldn't do a cinema date. It's essentially sitting side by side for 2 hours without talking.
I really like my usual shopping dates, because
- you can make them as short and as long as you like
- you always need some shirt or shoes or something, and blam, you have a woman with you to help you pick out nice stuff
- if you know some fun stores, go there as well, there is a Lego store here which any cool person would love, also a kind of nerdy comic book store with like harry potter wands and stuff, it's fun to browse
- you can grab coffee in between, and if things go well have a snack and drinks in the evening
- you can talk all the way through
Don't get me wrong, dinner and movie can be fun as well, but you need to keep the conversation up in some way during the movie, making some comments and stuff like that. It's just not optimal.
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| Posted: Wed, 15th Jan 2014 01:44 Post subject: |
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| xxax wrote: | | flipp wrote: | | readonly wrote: |
If you wanna be different, take them to interesting dates and not the cliche zoo, movie, coffee, dinner. I took my current GF of 3 years for our second date to the planetarium as they have laser shows (pink floyd), that blew her away because in her words "who the fuck thinks of that". |
Everybody has different tastes. Take someone to the planetarium who has absolutely zero interest in stars and other universes at all and it is as boring as the cinema. Coffee and shit is fine because it's all about to get to know each other and IMO visiting the Zoo is a great idea, but that's just my opinion. |
A ZOO is a good idea because you can at least talk. When i date i want to know the girl and i want her to like me, i sure as hell don't want her to stare at some lightshow for three hours. I can do that with friends or with her when she is my girlfriend.
But different approaches work for different people. |
Well, it wasn't the first date as I had already mentioned and we obviously talked a lot before that, First time we met plus phone etc. So it was to show her that im not the same boring person as everyone else. ie. Coffee date, cinema date, dinner date, even Zoo date if you live somewhere that that is more common. You need to separate yourself from the rest of the pack to peak interest.
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Aeon
Posts: 8700
Location: Netherlands
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RatKing
Posts: 1212
Location: Nondescript cave in the land of the polar bears, Finland
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jan 2014 13:52 Post subject: |
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Just now where did I put dem popcorns..
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