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DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11435
Location: Florida, USA
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 Posted: Fri, 18th Oct 2013 20:36 Post subject: Well just found out part of my problem :P |
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Seems I have asperger’s disorder to some degree...weird to find this out at almost 40 years old.
(time for a long winded post...)
I went to a general MD, that referred me to a neurologist to see if I needed to do/get something about how I am, to see if its just stress, as I get older I tend to be less forgiving in it..its not that it bothers me more. Its always annoyed me, just I don't do the "go along with it to be nice" as much as I use to.
And I've always HATED public places, gatherings, being around a lot of people, and having to talk to them or keep eye contact..not out of shyness, but more just not caring or wanting to if I don't know them..even if its a social gathering. Like eye contact seems overly pushed to me..I can talk and look at something else im interested in at the same time..why do I need to stare at you? 
I had to take 3 written tests with tons of "always, never, sometimes" and "yes/no" type answers., and oral questions about my family, habits growing up, my daily routine, and a lot of "how would you react in this situation" type things to a doctor, answering questions with my wife and kids (they was there so they could give a 3rd party view on the questions I was asked).
For the paper multiple choice test, I got a 140 out of 200, 160 out of 180 and 75 out of 100. He didn't explain what the numbers meant, other than 3 different style tests of those scores indicate Im a likely candidate.
Like how I'm always short and withdrawn when asked a question, or told something, if im concentrating on something...(go figure, me being short and too the point..lol)
For example:
Wife comes in and goes "I just came in here to tell you that I just finished up, and dinner will be ready in 5 minutes..ok?"
And I think "you don't need to say ALL that, don't tell me you came in here, I see can see that part, and don't need to tell me your here to tell me something, your talking so I assumed that, AND don't need to tell me you just finished up, telling me its done indicates that...so why not just say "dinner's done" and be done with it?"
People tend to confuse me saying "I don't want to talk" with "I don't want to talk to you". or "I Dont care" with "I dont care about you" a lot..to me they are TOTALLY different concepts they aren't even remotely the same. Like lacking empathy isn't the same as having apathy to me. Caring about something is a choice, you purposely decide to turn on, in my head.
Or me being overly literal, or re-re-reexplaining something because I don't think they get what Im saying until they physically tell me they get it. I miss emotional or social clues they are on the same page with me. then even if they get it, but disagree it makes no sense to me..It baffles me to some extent how people can go "I do get what your saying, and understand, but disagree"..since if you get it, and understand it..then you'd agree 1+2=3 conclusion..you cant go "I get that 1+2=3, but I disagree". I've learned by experience it will happen, and can grasp why they would disagree, but not in a "I understand personally why you would" way..more a "from observing other people I can see how you can rightfully disagree"
And tend to talk at great lengths about something in more of a one sided conversation if I get wrapped up in it (like this post I guess). going into an endless over analysis of the subject matter if it interest me at that time..and then later once bored of it, no longer worried about talking about it.
OR the way that if there is a 'how its made' marathon in TV, expect me to have the tv for 24 hours until I pass out on the couch watching it. I'm fascinated by how things do what they do. its more an obsession than a interest. I cant own something and not know what makes it 'tick' it will make me crazy...even a basic understanding in layman terms will do..but I have to know. I will break something taking it apart to see how it works, and more satisfied I know now why it does it, than I am disappointed its broke.
Anyway, I found out next Friday on the follow up what they think of it all, and what comes about from it.
To me, Im the same person I always was before I went to see them..not like i found out I have cancer or anything..just strange to fiind out actually why after this long Im that way, instead of just 'your different'.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
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deelix
PDIP Member
Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Fri, 18th Oct 2013 22:05 Post subject: |
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Iv actually had a feeling, even tho I don't know you. Thats mainly because I sort of have an "asbergers antenna" that goes off pretty quck because my uncle and one of my friends has the diagnosis.
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Morphineus
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Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Fri, 18th Oct 2013 22:19 Post subject: |
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Hehe, I actually see a bit of the same 'issues' I have. Tho they tend to creep up more in real life than when I am online.
I have Autism (light form, whatever that means never asked more information since I was a teen) but it's not bad, I can function. My sister has one son who has a worse degree than I have, but she can handle it with routine and professional help. Her other son has it combined with a High IQ and he's able to get through it way easier than his little brother, he has some quirks but nothing that stops him from having a normal life. People just see him as an oddball at times.
Even after a diagnose of whatever you'll have you'll stay the same person just that you have something to explain some behaviour. And people tend to be a bit more forgiving towards some of your weirder behaviour (tho I only tell people I can trust, online I care less if people know).
I'm just glad that it stopped giving me the stamp of ADHD (gets commonly misdiagnosed), they said I had that when I was younger.
Well the fun part in it all is that you'll get to recognize your behaviour and can pin point it to something now. I bet you'll do some self analysis, well I did at least. It helped me with playing a role at times, to make it easier on the people around me. Trying to be more social and talkative when it is not my nature. It actually annoys me at times that people get uncomfy with silent moments while for me those are enjoyable.
May sound weird but I'm happy for you that you found out 
Last edited by Morphineus on Fri, 18th Oct 2013 22:21; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Fri, 18th Oct 2013 22:19 Post subject: |
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| deelix wrote: | | Iv actually had a feeling, even tho I don't know you. Thats mainly because I sort of have an "asbergers antenna" that goes off pretty quck because my uncle and one of my friends has the diagnosis. |
Heh same. A lot of programmers here have aspergers ^^
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Morphineus
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Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Fri, 18th Oct 2013 22:24 Post subject: |
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| tainted4ever wrote: | | deelix wrote: | | Iv actually had a feeling, even tho I don't know you. Thats mainly because I sort of have an "asbergers antenna" that goes off pretty quck because my uncle and one of my friends has the diagnosis. |
Heh same. A lot of programmers here have aspergers ^^ |
Think there is a high percentage of that in the IT biz. I was even a stereotype :/ Autist doing network engineering and dabbling around as a DB designer xD |
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DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11435
Location: Florida, USA
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| Posted: Fri, 18th Oct 2013 22:50 Post subject: |
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yea MORPHINEUS,
it helps me now in situations of people going "you need to be more social" and me explaining "this IS me being more social" that its not just that I suck at it, well I still do, but now know its not that I fail at learning it, its just I cant do it...lol
It's not one of those "my life is transformed! everything is so clear now!". I'm same person and personality as before. Just nice to scratch that itch of knowing why I work that way..instead of just knowing that I do.
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 03:36 Post subject: |
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 no wonder you are all shitty and arrogant little pricks
fuck me if thats the case tainted, it really answers a bucket load on these boards.... |
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65097
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 04:56 Post subject: |
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Asperger's disorder must be one of the most overused terms in these recent years. So many people use it in the wrong way, just because a certain someone has somewhat unique personality traits or habits like in your case, he instantly becomes..ill? Please
I bet that according to those standards, if we did those tests we'd find out that the 90% of us would have some form of Asperger's. Maybe it's just me, but I find it a flamboyant way to label someone just because he doesn't fit the mould. So my wise advice is, don't wrap your head around this whole thing.
You are the same great guy who managed to raise such a nice family, perhaps just a lil' bit more stressed than before. That leads to having less tolerance to *pretty much everything*, it's normal . And don't forget that you're getting older too, grumpiness is a natural consequence! (now I'm just teasing you haha )
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Badrien
Posts: 2118
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 05:24 Post subject: |
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I found out at 18, my uncle at 42, my grandpa never got diagnosed.
Myself I have Aspergers, and a heavy case of OCD. it seems the further down the family line the worse it gets. Aspergers was the reason I chose to go for a psychology major, my thesis is on the correlation between aspergers and high IQ lol.
I gave up social interaction a year ago(im now 24) it just doesnt work for people like me(us?) Im surprised you made it as far as settling down and raise a family, many of us aspies never will(be able to)
Dont let the diagnosis change you, if you have made it this far you are definitely doing a great job
if you have any in depth questions on the subject feel free to PM me. im certainly no authority on the subject(yet) but I can answer quite a few (clinical) questions on it.
also a big BTW. dont let them smear you any meds, abilify, anything ending with pezam just dont do it. youre on that for a month; youre on it for the rest of your life. Aspergers has no cure, and you shouldnt want it to have any. like i said you seem to have done just fine so far, so dont let them label you and put you on the meds like they like to do here
RTX ON
Last edited by Badrien on Sat, 19th Oct 2013 08:56; edited 1 time in total
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zipfero
Posts: 8938
Location: White Shaft
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 05:26 Post subject: |
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| Badrien wrote: | I found out at 18, my uncle at 42, my grandpa never got diagnosed.
Myself I have Aspergers, and a heavy case of OCD. it seems the further down the family line the worse it gets. Aspergers was the reason I chose to go for a psychology major, my thesis is on the correlation between aspergers and high IQ lol.
I gave up social interaction a year ago(im now 24) it just doesnt work for people like me(us?) Im surprised you made it as far as settling down and raise a family, many of us aspies never will(be able to)
Dont let the diagnosis change you, if you have made it this far you are definitely doing a great job
if you need any in depth questions on the subject feel free to PM me. im certainly no authority on the subject(yet) but I can answer quite a few (clinical) questions on it.
also a big BTW. dont let them smear you any meds, abilify, anything ending with pezam just dont do it. youre on that for a month; youre on it for the rest of your life. Aspergers has no cure, and you shouldnt want it to have any. like i said you seem to have done just fine so far, so dont let them label you and put you on the meds like they like to do here |
Seeing as you are writing a thesis on it what is your opinion on "Aspie" ? Read about it here http://www.tonyattwood.com.au/ and in an autism magazine.
8 out of 10 dentists prefer zipfero to competing brands(fraich3 and Mutantius)!
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Badrien
Posts: 2118
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 05:29 Post subject: |
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Edit: drunk lol nvm
Last edited by Badrien on Sat, 19th Oct 2013 08:52; edited 2 times in total
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zipfero
Posts: 8938
Location: White Shaft
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51443
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 05:34 Post subject: |
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| Badrien wrote: | | anything ending with pezam just dont do it. |
Too late, he's already doing przprzpezam  
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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Badrien
Posts: 2118
Location: Netherlands
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51443
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 06:06 Post subject: |
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| Badrien wrote: | | tonizito wrote: | | Badrien wrote: | | anything ending with pezam just dont do it. |
Too late, he's already doing przprzpezam |
diazepam, tamezepam, oxepezam any benzo's really. they are the go-to med for aspergers, even though your Councillors/therapists/psychs know goddamn well there is no 'cure'. theyre just flattening you out |
Nooooo 
I meant http://www.nfohump.com/forum/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=140711... he's doing przprzpezam like... doing him... sex stuff... and stuff
Damn you 
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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Badrien
Posts: 2118
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 06:41 Post subject: |
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Badrien
Posts: 2118
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 08:51 Post subject: |
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goddamit my beer is really on the fritz tonight, sorry for double post
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 09:12 Post subject: |
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I like how every little social quirk these days is an disorder
Kids like to read more and don't interact well with others: It's a disorder! Put him on the meds!
I acknowledge that there really cases when kids don't speak but can do like freaky math or sth similar, but sometimes kids are just heavy introverts. Kinda seems like an excuse for parents. Especially considering that these days parents don't really interact with their kids. Often they work like hell, and when they come home they don't want to deal with kids (which is why I probably won't have kids - if you cannot assert a good amount of your time for them, then don't have them!).
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 10:00 Post subject: |
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| ixigia wrote: | Asperger's disorder must be one of the most overused terms in these recent years. So many people use it in the wrong way, just because a certain someone has somewhat unique personality traits or habits like in your case, he instantly becomes..ill? Please
I bet that according to those standards, if we did those tests we'd find out that the 90% of us would have some form of Asperger's. Maybe it's just me, but I find it a flamboyant way to label someone just because he doesn't fit the mould. So my wise advice is, don't wrap your head around this whole thing.
You are the same great guy who managed to raise such a nice family, perhaps just a lil' bit more stressed than before. That leads to having less tolerance to *pretty much everything*, it's normal . And don't forget that you're getting older too, grumpiness is a natural consequence! (now I'm just teasing you haha ) |
This.
| dingo_d wrote: | I like how every little social quirk these days is an disorder
Kids like to read more and don't interact well with others: It's a disorder! Put him on the meds!
I acknowledge that there really cases when kids don't speak but can do like freaky math or sth similar, but sometimes kids are just heavy introverts. Kinda seems like an excuse for parents. Especially considering that these days parents don't really interact with their kids. Often they work like hell, and when they come home they don't want to deal with kids (which is why I probably won't have kids - if you cannot assert a good amount of your time for them, then don't have them!). |
and this.
Its like the wave of people explaining all kinds of behavior using words like introverted, which if they actually read Jung, would know has nothing to do with being antisocial. So now you have a light case of AD, kinda like being the tallest dwarf in the world. Now what?
I bet Americans have some pills for that.
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DXWarlock
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Posts: 11435
Location: Florida, USA
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| Posted: Sat, 19th Oct 2013 11:06 Post subject: |
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But xxax, it wasn't simply only for why I'm short with people..that could be chalked up to just being an asshole, I know many people that are perfectly fine other than just they dont like other people ..lol.
I'm not defending that it's not over used, or that I could be diagnosed wrong..Just saying until I get a better answer, or new information arises, it fits the hypothesis given to me so far.
Was more to explain why I don't catch social cues that others seem to understand naturally.
Or that my extent of caring for something emotionally is if I decide to care, there is less than a handful of things I can remember in my life I didn't have to go "I like that/them/that person, I will from now on consciously remember I should have concern for them/it/whatever until I grow tired of caring". Or how I can detach that emotional caring like it was a light switch. That causes big problems with wife at times, and really unhealthy for people that have a emotional tie with me.
Or how I totally ignore the world for up to 16+ hours sometimes if Im focused on something, physically cannot stop working on it so its either right, or I fall asleep. I can get where I'm oblivious that the world is going on around me, even forgetting to eat unless wife reminds me I haven't ate..then its more an annoyance that I have to stop doing what I'm doing, to be sidetracked by food. And annoyed someone broke my bubble of concentration to tell me.
Or how in social situations its not that I'm anti-social so much, it's just unless people are talking about a subject I'm interested in, I have no concern or care who they are, if they want to be friendly, or what they are doing.
I remember going to a cookout with my family as a teen, tons of people I know at it, lots of school friends, and not care one bit about any of the conversation topics. To end up wandering off alone looking at the engine the host left that he was rebuilding in the garage for 2 hours by myself, not caring at all that I was missing hanging out with my friends. I actually somewhat forgot other people was there at one point.
Trying to figure out in my head where the parts on the table went back on the block hanging off the roll around since I never seen the inside of one before and getting mad and frustrated that I couldn't picture it in my head the order and pattern it went on it. My mother had to come find me when they realized I was missing when the food was done.
I feel physically at ease and 'in my place' around inanimate things, and physically uneasy around people..even people i know, like my wife, if they are in my space and I don't like it.
Or how I have a compulsion for some things to packrat, but only a very very narrow range of items. Computer parts, and speakers..
I got enough 486 and pentium 1 parts I cannot imagine throwing away, to make an entire 1990's server room..I will never use them, they are obsolete..but they mean something to me, like I have a tie to them personally. it would be like giving a family pet away.
And I've got BOXES and BOXES of speakers..that I cannot throw away, i would wander around for a week feeling out of place, off, and needing to gather more if they went missing. I've got a whole plastic carry box of cheap alarm clock speaker types.. I will NEVER use them they are cheap $0.50 cent speakers, and even if I did, I wouldn't need 200 of them. but I must have them, organize them and keep them since they 'work'. I got more car speakers, both door mount, and subboxes than I could use in a lifetime in all my cars. from cheap factory ones, to kicker comp 15's in a box. If me or someone is throwing something away with a speaker in it..a stereo, tv, alarmclock, 486 PC case, headphones..I will ask them if I can take the speaker out first to have it.
SO not defending that I am "omg guise I gotz the aspergers! how cool!" or that it even is right diagnosis I do. why I go in a week to finalize the appt with them, to figure it out. I couldn't be happier if I found find out in the end that I really am normal, and that its the way everyone else is..Im not looking for a 'special' label to slap on me. or a "ask me about my special powers' type button.
I just saying that while anti-social and socially awkward isn't necessarily a a sure sign of anything, and that it IS over used..that Im just trying to figure out why I do that AND all the other weird habits and quirks I have, be it for whatever reason. I'm just searching and making appointments to find out that reason. they could tell me "no you don't have that, your just mentally retarded with a love of shiny things and things that make noise" and Id be happy..
Not that I want meds, or that I want a label. I want a personal "ok now I know what make the gears go around like that, I can fit the pieces together and stop being so uneasy about what pieces of my 'instruction manual about me' is missing"
I may not be abnormal, and live a average life, I just want to find out why what I do isn't normal if for nothing else for the people around me, so either i can try to counter it, or work with them on accepting it beyond a "mikes an asshole with weird tastes and hobbies".
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
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