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javlar
Posts: 1921
Location: Kalmar, Sweden
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 Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 02:28 Post subject: Insults |
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Swedes aren't usually good at telling people to go sodomize themselves in good and imaginative ways so im looking for some new ones. Me and a friend always have insult-face-offs on msn or via sms and i want to win with some new ones. It's kind of like the Monkey Island duels 
Post your favourite way of telling someone that he is ugly or stupid or that you want to have intercourse with his mother and so on. Anything will do as long as it's an insult in some way.
I personally like insults that start out harmless and then escalate (spelling?) into a fullfledged fuck you with music playing and stars shining. I'll start out with a rather long one i used a couple of days ago.
"So i was walking around in the city yesterday and behind me were two insanely stunning girls. I was going to the ATM so i took out my wallet to get my creditcard. All of a sudden a picture of you fell out (i was saving it so i could burn it later). The girls saw it and they both started screaming and crying and one of them instantly turned blind."
Gaming - Intel Quad Q9450 @ 3.2GHZ | Radeon HD 4870 X2 2GB | SB X-Fi | PC6400 8GB | 300GB Velociraptor
HTPC - Antec Fusion Remote | AMD Athlon 7850 X2 | PC6400 2GB | 74GB Raptor
Server - Athlon 64 X2 4200+ | Radeon HD 3450 | SB X-Fi | PC5300 2GB | 4TB+ total space
XBOX360 Gamertag: javlarmate
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 02:47 Post subject: |
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Dude, an insult is a one liner, sarcastic or mean remark...not a story with then's and and's 
Like say me for example, whenever i help buddies or family move (as in from one house to another) I always get teased with "Goddamnit nigger, we told ya not to steal anything"...
I dont mind it cuz its my friends and their are just joking, but thats an insult...
Or we'll be out somewhere and its dark and they'll say "Hey Ray, smile so we can see you"... Doesnt make sense mind u cuz im really really lightskinned, not charcol black like an african
"I invited u over to my house to move. U did some work but not much. I asked u to go get box a and then u bring me back box b...ur so stupid..."...thats not an insult really, just shows the speaker's stupidity thats not an insult at all...
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javlar
Posts: 1921
Location: Kalmar, Sweden
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 03:04 Post subject: |
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| SycoShaman wrote: | Dude, an insult is a one liner, sarcastic or mean remark...not a story with then's and and's
Like say me for example, whenever i help buddies or family move (as in from one house to another) I always get teased with "Goddamnit nigger, we told ya not to steal anything"...
I dont mind it cuz its my friends and their are just joking, but thats an insult...
Or we'll be out somewhere and its dark and they'll say "Hey Ray, smile so we can see you"... Doesnt make sense mind u cuz im really really lightskinned, not charcol black like an african
"I invited u over to my house to move. U did some work but not much. I asked u to go get box a and then u bring me back box b...ur so stupid..."...thats not an insult really, just shows the speaker's stupidity thats not an insult at all... |
I know i know but i was merely pointing out what i was looking for more specifically. But any insult will do. I like the racistjokes, a friend of mine is like quarter-korean but you can hardly tell unless you know and we always tease him with asian-slur shit 
Gaming - Intel Quad Q9450 @ 3.2GHZ | Radeon HD 4870 X2 2GB | SB X-Fi | PC6400 8GB | 300GB Velociraptor
HTPC - Antec Fusion Remote | AMD Athlon 7850 X2 | PC6400 2GB | 74GB Raptor
Server - Athlon 64 X2 4200+ | Radeon HD 3450 | SB X-Fi | PC5300 2GB | 4TB+ total space
XBOX360 Gamertag: javlarmate |
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Jenni
Banned
Posts: 9526
Location: England.
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 06:46 Post subject: |
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Just tell him he's so ugly his face needs third party insurance.
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Esel_Gesi
VIP Member
Posts: 3802
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 07:20 Post subject: |
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call em...
Ass Spelunker, Scrote Poker, Crotch Jockey, or my favorite, the classic, Douchebag.
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Griffon
Banned
Posts: 1875
Location: Belarus
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ChinUp
Posts: 5503
Location: 51.7° N ' 1.1° W
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 16:07 Post subject: |
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I have encountered rotting corpses less offensive than you ..
"Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in & out of favor." ~ Frost
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 18:23 Post subject: |
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Are your parents siblings?
Do you still love nature despite what it did to you?
I've seen you before, but I had to pay admission
Learn from your parents mistakes , use birth control
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ollax
VIP Member
Posts: 2154
Location: Here today, Hell tomorrow!
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 18:51 Post subject: |
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I have an old classic that i still use:
You know what i did last nite?
No.....
Ask your mother.... Biatch!
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most!
"Ozzy Osbourne"
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_SiN_
Megatron
Posts: 12108
Location: Cybertron
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 18:57 Post subject: |
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Are you a fag in a cage?
Uh, NO
THE FAG IS LOOSE!
it´s so bad its almost funny .P
Watercooled 5950X | AORUS Master X570 | Asus RTX 3090 TUF Gaming OC | 64Gb RAM | 1Tb 970 Evo Plus + 2Tb 660p | etc etc
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 19:01 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 21:20 Post subject: |
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Out of the millions of sperm used in your conception it amazes me YOU were the fastest swimmer!!!
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 22:58 Post subject: |
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Naw, a good one is u ask someone if they wanna see a baby picture of themselves. They say ok, and then u spit in hand and saw "See, thats what u looked like in ur daddy's balls"
lol
My dad actually was the first one to use that on me....
Or, if u work at a shop or somewhere where u get dirty...u walk up to a friend and ask if their hands are clean. They say yes, and all u say is follow me...lead em into the washroom and ask again "So, u hands realy are clean?" then the guy will say yes again, then u say "so what are u waiting for? hold it while i piss" 
Its funny shit, done that to nuff ppl at work...everyone usually gets a kick outta it, we do that shit to the new guys alot
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 23:06 Post subject: |
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| SycoShaman wrote: |
Or, if u work at a shop or somewhere where u get dirty...u walk up to a friend and ask if their hands are clean. They say yes, and all u say is follow me...lead em into the washroom and ask again "So, u hands realy are clean?" then the guy will say yes again, then u say "so what are u waiting for? hold it while i piss"
Its funny shit, done that to nuff ppl at work...everyone usually gets a kick outta it, we do that shit to the new guys alot |
and how many actually listened lol. |
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 3rd Oct 2005 23:07 Post subject: |
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| JeanPerrier wrote: | | SycoShaman wrote: |
Or, if u work at a shop or somewhere where u get dirty...u walk up to a friend and ask if their hands are clean. They say yes, and all u say is follow me...lead em into the washroom and ask again "So, u hands realy are clean?" then the guy will say yes again, then u say "so what are u waiting for? hold it while i piss"
Its funny shit, done that to nuff ppl at work...everyone usually gets a kick outta it, we do that shit to the new guys alot |
and how many actually listened lol. |
I'd say ive got about 10 ppl with that
as for actually holding my pecker...naw bwoy, im no chi chi man |
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