Shitty job situation :/
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Stormwolf




Posts: 23706
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Sun, 14th Jul 2013 23:17    Post subject: Shitty job situation :/
I haven't had a job in ages due to some terrible luck so i fell out of the loop completely. Some options opened up now recently and i've been in a job for a few months, but due to me needing to take the buss i always end up half an hour short everyday. People around me start noticing and getting annoyed and i generally don't connect with anyone. It's either mother profiles or car enthusiasts who work there. I can't talk about movies, games or anything which i find interesting, which i have been doing my whole life. So the social experience there is absolutely terrible. Never was good at small talk :/ Job itself is fine, bit boring, but fine. Problem is i work for free, as some internship deal and i only have 2 weeks left of the contract and my employers refuse to give me any words regarding my job opportunity after the contract is over, so i'm left to believe i'm just being exploited. It's a hazard for people in situations such as me and i should be wary.

People around me don't really talk to me about anything other than work, or generally just don't talk to me because we got nothing in common, and it's making my days miserable. At first i liked it there as the people seemed nice, and general small talk was fine to begin with, but now it's not enough.

Been jobless for too long, and there are these 2 problems with the job currently. I think they just want me to finish the contract and be done with me, and the other being the social part. I can end the contract any day i wish and get a new job such as this, but i'm of course reluctant because some part of me do just want to continue, but i know i will me miserable if i got the job (which is highly unlikely due to them refusing to acknowledge me being worth anything to them). I need to get my life together Sad

Anyone else been in similar job situations?

Yeah, and they continuously keep pressuring me to work harder and harder creating seemingly impossible goals which makes me want to punch them in the face. They do it all the time (bosses and co workers). I never see them work that hard, but they keep pressuring me to do so.
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Vikerness




Posts: 3616
Location: Brasov
PostPosted: Sun, 14th Jul 2013 23:38    Post subject: Re: Shitty job situation :/
Stormwolf wrote:
generally just don't talk to me because we got nothing in common, and it's making my days miserable
Why? Maybe you need to stop caring so much. The problem with most work relationships IMO is that the more you care the less they do and you end up being exploited, and the less you care the more they do and you can start imposing yourself and your own rules


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Stormwolf




Posts: 23706
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 00:02    Post subject:
First part of what you said sounds true enough, but for the second, i'm not really in a position to start imposing my own rules. Last friday was what tipped me over. Was testing some machines of some kind, and i kept getting the same error with it's motherboard, over and over with different machines. I told them that that it has happened with many such machines now, and it's always the same error. And they didn't give a shit and started giving me a shit ton of work to figure out what was wrong and told me i had done something wrong. instead of just walking into the storage and getting a new motherboard which i knew was the solution seeing as the same issue had appeared many times. Because they knew it was impossible for it to happen this many times, and had me sit doing fruitless for hours while stressing me to finish up.Needless to say they gave up in the end, and i got a new motherboard and it worked.

This might seem like a whine, but to me it's lack of any kind of respect and it became a really stressful situation.

Keep in mind, i'm not an employee of this place. It's just a place where i got a 3 month work for free and see if they want me kind of deal. Well, it's obviously a 2 way street and i'm not sure how comfortable i'm with at this place. Sure it's not all bad. There are plenty of good things with this place, but the bad sadly outweighs the good.
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Mr.Tinkles




Posts: 12378
Location: Reino de Suecia
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 00:04    Post subject:
God damn immigrants, lazy bastards always late for work.

 Spoiler:
 


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Vikerness




Posts: 3616
Location: Brasov
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 02:08    Post subject:
Stormwolf wrote:
but for the second, i'm not really in a position to start imposing my own rules[...]I told them that that it has happened with many such machines now, and it's always the same error. And they didn't give a shit...
It seems that you need to put yourself in that position then.. Be confident or even cocky.. its your job, thus you know best, thus for example if you say something is broken then its broken. Period.
I'd say stick with the job, i had a similar experience and it taught me exactly that. You dont earn respect by working hard and trying to please everybody else. Play their game and you'll always fail. This is why you need your own rules.


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SpykeZ




Posts: 23710

PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 03:19    Post subject:
..if you're working for free..and they won't talk about any opportunities, fuck it and leave. If you do get hired in, you're still going to be miserable.


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pistolshrimp
Über-VIP Member



Posts: 11007

PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 03:34    Post subject:
..If you are 30 mins late for work get up 40 minS EARLIER so you can take the earlier bus in. Clearly you are taking the wrong bus.

You go to work to work, not socialize and make friends. Even if it's an internship. If friends and good convo happens it's a bonus.

Respect isn't something you are entitled to, it is something you have to earn over time.

Employers don't want trouble makers, people who complain, or have excuses, or late. I'm just throwing out examples here, not saying you are. In a hard economy you gotta know when to slide under the radar and know when to stand out.
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LeoNatan
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Location: Ramat Gan, Israel 🇮🇱
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 03:57    Post subject:
pistolshrimp wrote:
..If you are 30 mins late for work get up 40 minS EARLIER so you can take the earlier bus in. Clearly you are taking the wrong bus.

You go to work to work, not socialize and make friends. Even if it's an internship. If friends and good convo happens it's a bonus.

Respect isn't something you are entitled to, it is something you have to earn over time.

Employers don't want trouble makers, people who complain, or have excuses, or late. I'm just throwing out examples here, not saying you are. In a hard economy you gotta know when to slide under the radar and know when to stand out.

Hm, I have to disagree with some of what you wrote.

I think if you do not enjoy the company you are with when working, you should get up and leave. Having a good mood is very important for productive results. If you see your job as a chore, it is likely that you will not do your best to excel, and then both you and your employer lose. We all look at work as a chore to some degree, but I think when you enjoy the company of your coworkers, it is a lot less likely that you'd get up in the morning and say "ugh, why do I have to go to work". This same attitude is with you throughout the day. If you do not enjoy the people that work with you, are occupied with other thoughts instead of giving your best.

Likewise, for respect. Everyone is entitled to respect, and indeed should be respected until they do something to lower your respect. But new workers should be given respect automatically, and this respect would grow over time once they show their qualities.
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pistolshrimp
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Posts: 11007

PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 05:38    Post subject:
When jobs are scarce sometimes you have to take what you can get and that means working in some pretty crappy working environments. I like your ideal but sometimes we can't always move along to something that gives us personal fulfillment. We should always try though. That's the whole reason I went back to school.


I think you are right in the respect dept., like personal respect, treating people well. But when you are new, your opinions don't hold the same weight of someone who has a proven track record. That's my experience anyway.
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BloodySpy




Posts: 595

PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 06:24    Post subject:
Let's see :

- you are the new guy
- you have no experience\little experience at what you are doing, since you didn't have a job in ages (it baffles me how you managed to live jobless, though)
- you arrive each day 30 minutes late, like you cannot set your alarm clock to wake you up earlier;
- you cannot, or will not, engage in talk with your co-workers (different interests, etc.)
- you complain and have a negative attitude towards work; you say they pressure you with more work and deadlines, but if they are doing the same amount of work as you, then that's the name of the game - take it or leave.

While it's true you are not really employed, since you don't get payed, it's rather obvious why you don't earn your co-workers appreciation. On the positive note they don't treat you bad either, as in poking you with bad jokes, calling you names, and generally giving you shit all day long. In the end you should be there to work and earn money for a job well done, not to make buddies. At work, good socialization is a bonus few have.
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Stormwolf




Posts: 23706
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 07:24    Post subject:
BloodySpy wrote:
Let's see :

- you are the new guy
- you have no experience\little experience at what you are doing, since you didn't have a job in ages (it baffles me how you managed to live jobless, though)
- you arrive each day 30 minutes late, like you cannot set your alarm clock to wake you up earlier;
- you cannot, or will not, engage in talk with your co-workers (different interests, etc.)
- you complain and have a negative attitude towards work; you say they pressure you with more work and deadlines, but if they are doing the same amount of work as you, then that's the name of the game - take it or leave.

While it's true you are not really employed, since you don't get payed, it's rather obvious why you don't earn your co-workers appreciation. On the positive note they don't treat you bad either, as in poking you with bad jokes, calling you names, and generally giving you shit all day long. In the end you should be there to work and earn money for a job well done, not to make buddies. At work, good socialization is a bonus few have.


Who said i can't wake up in time? I live in a tiny town in Norway, and the busses don't flow like in the cities. And the bus takes the wrong path to the town where i work, so i have to walk the last bit.

Negative attitude towards work? When i say i know what is wrong and no one cares and gives me a shit ton of work because they don't have a clue themselves then i get pissed off. If that is negative attitude towards work, then i guess i do. But don't tell me you would have taken that lightly yourself.

And the same amount of work as them, well.... That really depends. There are a bunch of women jabbering on and on about all kinds of shit all day, and sometimes other girls sit down and chat with them during the workhours, or sit face deep inside their Iphones. And the guys wander a lot as well. Lets say i have to play by a strict rulebook compared to them. I don't accept it. I sit in my corner and don't really talk to anyone and keep on working all day, but if i take a breather after something a bit stressful i might hear it. Happened this Friday and my top almost exploded, but like i said, i'm not an employee and i'm not in a position to make trouble. They can say whatever they want.

Well, i guess we have different philosophies about how the workplace should be, because if i can't have a conversation that makes any kind of sense with anyone then i get miserable. After all it's 8 hours of my day spent there.
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Kristian




Posts: 3168
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 07:55    Post subject:
To all people saying he can take the earlier bus.. This is Norway. Buses only go once a lightyear.

And to Stormwolf, I assume you're doing this via NAV (or one of their departments), so take it up with them. They can actualy be good at fixin' up shit like this.


I hate you.
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Stormwolf




Posts: 23706
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 08:10    Post subject:
i have with a straight face each time they asked me if everything was ok said yes, everything is fine, because i know what happens if i don't fit in. I don't get a job. Now, i don't want it. I'm cancelling my contract with this firm as is my right, and take what i have learned about internal relationships and attitudes with me to the next place. Didn't know people at work were so fucked up. The more i got to know them, the worse they got. Back talking was bad as well. People there were always back talking someone.
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xxax
Banned



Posts: 2610

PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 08:47    Post subject:
Seriously, you should maybe take a step back and maybe stop blaming others for everything. Not being social is your problem, not theirs. In life we have a group of friends who share our interests and even they don't share all of them, so if you think you'll find a job where most people do you're in for a shock. Workplace relationships are full of small talk, general subjects (like the weather, the news) and occasionally listening to someone talk about a subject you don't care about at all.

It takes time to get to know these people and maybe when you do, you'll be surprised you may even like some of them. But if your attitude is nobody understands me, they are all big and mean you'll fail everytime. Oh yeah and everywhere there's behind the back talk (i guess this is what you meant).

EDIT: i forgot to say, that sometimes you don't get along which is normal, but searching for the perfect conditions is pointless since its impossible to find them


Last edited by xxax on Mon, 15th Jul 2013 10:15; edited 1 time in total
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BearishSun




Posts: 4484

PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 10:15    Post subject:
A little rant regarding the social part of your problem:

Not being social is not a problem. Some people are like that and prefer it as such, and I wish people accepted that. Its terrible for us that everyone expects us to do smalltalk, smile and laugh about things we don't really care about. And when you don't you are shunned and everyone starts looking at you weird.

I'm perfectly capable of discussing topics I'm interested about, and communicating about work, but just socializing for the sake of socializing was never my thing, even though I still did it all my life and learned to do it simply because I wanted to fit in.

I suggest this great talk:
 Spoiler:
 
Perfectly describes the way I am, and I suspect you as well.

Sadly I don't think there's an easy way out of it. I don't have any decent advice, but finding someone with a common interest/hobby usually makes things much easier. Once you get to know at least one person you'll gain respect of others.

Another thing you can do is simply to do a great job. Getting there on time would of course be important part of it. People will notice and start respecting you, and see you for what you are.

Although I never encountered your situation, where people were actually being assholes about it. That seems like a bad workplace overall so I'm not sure how much of the previous advice would apply.
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flipp




Posts: 1972

PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 10:21    Post subject:
Dude, you are 30 minutes late every day. Of course people talk behind your back.
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Stormwolf




Posts: 23706
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 10:32    Post subject:
Yes, i know. It's bad, but the bus situation is what it is. If it was such a problem they shouldn't have accepted me in the first place. They fully knew about it.
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flipp




Posts: 1972

PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 10:37    Post subject:
It doesn't matter. They manage to be there at the time work starts, so why can't you? They don't care about your situation. You have special rules without ever doing something to earn those.
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Morphineus
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Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 11:02    Post subject:
Even tho I can understand the late part (had something similar once in my earlier work years). That is a big reason for peoples discontent with you and why they want you to work harder.

People are very judgmental when someone gets 'special' treatment. So for them it starts with you showing up late. From then on they have a negative view on you. You not talking much, and the incident is just a follow up, in their minds you are probably seen as a know-it-all.

The hardest part for someone who starts working or hasn't been working most of his life is learning a healthy work attitude, and how to create an environment of having a good understanding with. So never see a bad experience as a waste but learn from it and do ask yourself where you can do better.

And my advise: Be on time! no excuse: take a bus earlier, bike, buy a scooter or whatever. Since no matter what, Most if not all people will not accept it.

Try to broaden your interests. At a work place there are very few people where I can't share any interest with. Usually the ones I can't connect with are the ones that pretty much have psychological problems/drunks.

Take this really into account: You have to open yourself up to the others to see the value in them. People can surprise you, most of the time the shallow stuff they talk about is because of their own insecurities.

You need to have 2 persona's One personal and the other one being a professional one. and in 90% of the cases do not mix them, that wont do you any good. But act professional at a job. And that includes dreaded networking.

I wish you the best of luck and hope my dribbling helps a bit


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Sin317
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Posts: 24322
Location: Geneva
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 11:17    Post subject:
i tried to take this seriously, but i can't ...
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Mr.Tinkles




Posts: 12378
Location: Reino de Suecia
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 11:19    Post subject:
Sin317 wrote:
i tried to take this seriously, but i can't ...


Why?

I can't take it seriously cause well...I just can't since I personally find it lie the dude is just whining.


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Sin317
Banned



Posts: 24322
Location: Geneva
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 11:29    Post subject:
because of the whole situation.

Comes in half hour late (late is late, for whatever reason) and wonders why they want him to work harder.

He says he has no common interests with anyone, but isn't good at small talk.

Does a unpaid internship he agreed to (obviously at some point he had to) and then says he feels exploited ?

Its just full of whining and self pity.
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madmax17




Posts: 19459
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 11:45    Post subject:
Use a bicycle to go to work, it clears your head as well.
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Stormwolf




Posts: 23706
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 14:20    Post subject:
I see people just getting half of what i said, or at least tried to say. This thread was to blow of some steam, and i can't be arsed to explain if you can't grasp the situation.

And Sin saying he can't take someone seriously..... That's fucking rich Laughing
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deelix
PDIP Member



Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 14:27    Post subject:
At the school I worked the librarian came in 15min late everyday. I later found out it was because she had to take the bus. She also had to go a little earlier sometimes too. This was very well accepted. She had been working there for many many years and is very loved at the school tho, but I don't know if its "right" or not.

Without a car I wouldn't be bothered to get anywhere Had to start working online or something Laughing Laughing
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Stormwolf




Posts: 23706
Location: Norway
PostPosted: Mon, 15th Jul 2013 14:29    Post subject:
MORPHINEUS wrote:
Even tho I can understand the late part (had something similar once in my earlier work years). That is a big reason for peoples discontent with you and why they want you to work harder.

People are very judgmental when someone gets 'special' treatment. So for them it starts with you showing up late. From then on they have a negative view on you. You not talking much, and the incident is just a follow up, in their minds you are probably seen as a know-it-all.

The hardest part for someone who starts working or hasn't been working most of his life is learning a healthy work attitude, and how to create an environment of having a good understanding with. So never see a bad experience as a waste but learn from it and do ask yourself where you can do better.

And my advise: Be on time! no excuse: take a bus earlier, bike, buy a scooter or whatever. Since no matter what, Most if not all people will not accept it.

Try to broaden your interests. At a work place there are very few people where I can't share any interest with. Usually the ones I can't connect with are the ones that pretty much have psychological problems/drunks.

Take this really into account: You have to open yourself up to the others to see the value in them. People can surprise you, most of the time the shallow stuff they talk about is because of their own insecurities.

You need to have 2 persona's One personal and the other one being a professional one. and in 90% of the cases do not mix them, that wont do you any good. But act professional at a job. And that includes dreaded networking.

I wish you the best of luck and hope my dribbling helps a bit


Thanks, this is some good advice. I learned much of what you said first hand while being there. Especially the mixing of social and personal life. Adjusted myself on that point after a while.
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riptide77




Posts: 2114

PostPosted: Thu, 18th Jul 2013 13:26    Post subject:
Have you considered asklng them to move the start of your work time to 30 minutes later? As in you start 30 minutes later and leave 30 minutes later?


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