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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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 Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 08:18 Post subject: Noisy friends. |
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So, I have this really good friend of mine, met him some 10 years ago, we've been best buds ever since. He was always kind of great with the ladies and richer than I, but I never regarded this as an obstacole , every time he found a girl anywhere and wanted to hang out with her, I got out of the way, or whenever he went somewhere I had no money to go as well, I stayed at home. Recently, for about a year or so, things started looking up for me, got a car (a used one, but still), started dressing better, started taking care of me and eventually I found someone with whom I stopped dating, but remained really good friends. This is when things started taking a turn for the retarded. He tried dating her. Obviously, she said no, but he kept pushing, at which point I intervened and he made a big fucking deal out of it. Last week, I met a girl, things started picking up, and today the fucker asked me for her number or facebook ID so that he may have a "talk" with her. I told him no, because I don't want him poking around in my personal life because I did not, at any point, get involved with his shit apart from hanging out and offering advice if he was in a pickle.
My serious question is, how do I deal with this fucker?
Before any of you ask, I do plan on fekking her up ze butt.
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 08:27 Post subject: |
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Doesn't sound like a person i'd be friends with.
He's obviously a douchebag. Stop being friends with him. If he can't respect your relationships then he isn't a true friend.
Bros before hoes.
Fuck her in the butt. (See Section IV, Para. 2, Line 2; Section VI, Para. 9, Line 68-70; Section VIII, Para. 4 - 12 of the NFOrce charter on relationship threads in the bitching section for the reasoning behind the mandatory usage of 'FHITB')
Modedit [PumpAction]: Please refrain from writing FHUTB, the correct terminology is FHITB. Humpers need direct and precise informations how and where to stick the dick (Section II, Para. 1, Line 8 - 43). Your post has been edited. The changed parts are colored orange.
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 08:37 Post subject: |
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What surprises me the most is that he started being like this only after things started picking up for me. Before that he was a true friend, he still is, in some ways, but he just can't keep his nose out of my other relationships.
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 09:16 Post subject: |
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I'd hate to say this, but if he's unsettled by the fact that you're getting better at life then it's time to watch out and keep an eye on him. Personally I'm quite blunt with everyone doesn't matter who. If he doesn't take you seriously then it he never really saw you as a friend but more of a convenience. Don't be shocked if it's true (not saying it is) people are like that. If you can work it out even better.
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 10:06 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 10:48 Post subject: |
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So he means "talk" to her, he means to fuck her? Why don't you tell him that you are after that girl?
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 11:11 Post subject: |
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Afraid of you finding someone else in your life more important than him or afraid of your success leading to a change of character in you? You need to confront him anyway, properly.
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zipfero
Posts: 8938
Location: White Shaft
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 11:16 Post subject: |
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haha pumpy
8 out of 10 dentists prefer zipfero to competing brands(fraich3 and Mutantius)!
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Werelds
Special Little Man
Posts: 15098
Location: 0100111001001100
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 11:38 Post subject: |
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Tell him to piss off because you're going after her. That should be all he needs.
| Mchart wrote: | Fuck her in the butt. (See Section IV, Para. 2, Line 2; Section VI, Para. 9, Line 68-70; Section VIII, Para. 4 - 12 of the NFOrce charter on relationship threads in the bitching section for the reasoning behind the mandatory usage of 'FHITB')
Modedit [PumpAction]: Please refrain from writing FHUTB, the correct terminology is FHITB. Humpers need direct and precise informations how and where to stick the dick (Section II, Para. 1, Line 8 - 43). Your post has been edited. The changed parts are colored orange. |
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 11:49 Post subject: |
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| PumpAction wrote: | | So he means "talk" to her, he means to fuck her? Why don't you tell him that you are after that girl? |
Exactly that. And the problem is, he knows. He and I are going to have a long talk today after work, I've had enough of this. I even asked once if he's gay (I posted a thread about him in the past) and I told him that it's okay, I don't judge, but I am not into that. Problem is, this only started recently. Either he's jealous of my "success" ( ) or he wants things to go back to normal, where he was the "alpha" male of the group.
And past relationships have not been a problem, I am not the kind of person which finds someone and spends all of the available time with that person, all the while ignoring everyone else.
EDIT: these past changes in my life-style did not have a negative impact on me, if anything, I am funnier, more outgoing, less of an introvert and pretty much the guy everyone comes to talk about anything wrong in their lives. While I should be able to solve this by myself, I have not met this situation before, and it's annoying.
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Last edited by ClaudeFTW on Fri, 15th Mar 2013 11:51; edited 1 time in total |
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 11:51 Post subject: |
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Pumpy <3 
And your friend sounds like an insecure dick. He had everything always, and now that you are getting the life you like, he's jealous, and he needs to show his superiority.
Fuck ppl like that! If he's a true friend, he wouldn't behave like that.
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 11:53 Post subject: |
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Also, I'd like to thank everyone for their replies, I guess it's pretty much clear that I need to have a talk and the outcome of that is that I'm gonna cut him off, seeing as how this is not the behavior of a friend which I've known for a full decade.
Any other replies are most certainly welcome.
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I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 12:24 Post subject: |
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Two points really:
1. If he knows you want this girl and he still goes after her without giving you a chance - Fuck Him* (I should add a personal note, if you want this girl and she doesn't want you but you are blocking your friend from having a chance then that's just as bad. Not saying that's what is happening, just personal experience).
2. If the girl is interested in you but still goes with your 'Mate' - Fuck her*
* references from personal experience.
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 12:41 Post subject: |
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Thing is, she'll turn him down instantly, it's pretty obvious she's into me and when I met her, we were both there, but she chose me probably because I was making her laugh, I did not hold back when I kissed her and all the while he was sitting down, sipping from his beer while looking at us with disgust (I didn't notice this, she said it to me). I've already told her of this and she blocked his number as a precaution.
There goes one of my oldest friendships, and to think the rule I abide by the most is bros before hoes, but hoes before dbags.
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 12:57 Post subject: |
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Its just common sense that whoever gets a prey can eat it. If both of you had found her at the same time you could meassure who has the better chance and concede her to whoever is most probable, but in this case it was all you who found her. He just has to look for his own in this one. Then again you just have to tell him that you like this one and that you are having her, he doesnt have to get mad or anything, if he does he's an ass ffs. He cant just come in and take stuff from you can he? nor can you do you? Respect each other and in this case its his turn.
I once met a girl and we were around 6 guys in that trip, i just said once "I like this one, im going to talk to her" everyone was into her, but since i had talked with her and i said it, everyone there respected that. Its just simple respect, noone likes someone mixing in and taking away a women you like or that you brought into a group.
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 13:05 Post subject: |
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| Lopin18 wrote: | Its just common sense that whoever gets a prey can eat it. If both of you had found her at the same time you could meassure who has the better chance and concede her to whoever is most probable, but in this case it was all you who found her. He just has to look for his own in this one. Then again you just have to tell him that you like this one and that you are having her, he doesnt have to get mad or anything, if he does he's an ass ffs. He cant just come in and take stuff from you can he? nor can you do you? Respect each other and in this case its his turn.
I once met a girl and we were around 6 guys in that trip, i just said once "I like this one, im going to talk to her" everyone was into her, but since i had talked with her and i said it, everyone there respected that. Its just simple respect, noone likes someone mixing in and taking away a women you like or that you brought into a group. |
What annoys me the most is that it is the second time he's doing this, considering I've always stood out of his way when he found someone. Now that it's my turn, he just can't respect that.
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xExtreme
Posts: 5811
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 13:37 Post subject: |
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Un sfat foarte elocvent
Oricum cred ca o termin, a cam devenit sugativa recent, si cateodata mai face si cacaturi d-astea. Oricum aveam dubii de ceva ani incoace ca omu' se arde-n cur, da creca fazele astea doar confirma teoria asta. Basca daca fac eu d-astea, sare de cur in sus, ca nu mai vorbeste cu mine daca mai fac o data. Plm.
Sorry for the RO, I can't quite put it in English as good as I did in Romanian.
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tw1st
Posts: 6112
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 13:47 Post subject: |
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lol @ mod edits. There is much truth to that statement.
On a serious note, just tell him straight up, be straight forward and thats that.
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| Posted: Fri, 15th Mar 2013 21:40 Post subject: |
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It could be that despite his ladies charm (as you saw it) and having more money he could be an insecure bastard who liked feeling a bit better then you.
You can either dump him as a friend or distance yourself.
As far as your women friends goes most men can't help themselves but to chat up girls on facebook and see what they get. That is pretty much normal. Really though, if the girl falls for it she isn't anything special. Sometimes having someone like that guy around can be a good thing because he can weed out the women who fall for attention for you.
Good luck with that.
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| Posted: Sun, 17th Mar 2013 07:32 Post subject: |
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| Mchart wrote: | Fuck her in the butt. (See Section IV, Para. 2, Line 2; Section VI, Para. 9, Line 68-70; Section VIII, Para. 4 - 12 of the NFOrce charter on relationship threads in the bitching section for the reasoning behind the mandatory usage of 'FHITB')
Modedit [PumpAction]: Please refrain from writing FHUTB, the correct terminology is FHITB. Humpers need direct and precise informations how and where to stick the dick (Section II, Para. 1, Line 8 - 43). Your post has been edited. The changed parts are colored orange. |
Anyways regarding the problem here, this situation sounds a lot like what I had with a guy I know. He was my best friend from 2009 to 2011. Were still pretty good friends but not like we used to be (I have a new best friend now and shes a girl so she doesnt pull any of shit like this).
But yes everytime I would become facebook friends with a girl (any girl for that matter), he would add her as well. Anytime I mentioned that I hung out with some girl that he hasn't met yet, he would ask me a million questions and then eventually add her on facebook too even if I liked her. It was quite annoying lol he even tried adding my current best friend last years on fb (who he never met)
Me and him still hang out once every few weeks. My advice is, hes definitely a douche but dont completely throw the friendship away. Keep him around but you should get a new best bud for certain
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| Posted: Sun, 17th Mar 2013 13:00 Post subject: |
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| ClaudeFTW wrote: | | What surprises me the most is that he started being like this only after things started picking up for me. |
You answered your own questions. You're the bitch of his self-esteem. Get rid of that tard.
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| Posted: Sun, 17th Mar 2013 20:43 Post subject: |
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Simple. Your friendship is changing. Always remember you have your own point of view and he has his. I had/have a friend, we used to be very close, but at some point we started drifting apart. He changed, but when i talked to a mutual friend about it he said (the friend) that i changed. Basically now we both think that the other has gone down some weird path.
Don't try to understand it too much and don't try to get caught in the whole "he's jealous" thing (that's the first thing everyone thinks of). If his company doesn't suit you, don't hang out with him. Very few friends are forever.
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| Posted: Sun, 17th Mar 2013 22:44 Post subject: |
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Best friends will always fuck you up at some point- be it money, women, job, or any combination of these. Problem is, these "best friends" always have a hidden reason for sticking up with you - hell, sometimes even they are not aware of this. In your case, he considered you below him in all aspects, and he liked the contrast, made him feel better about himself. Now that you stepped up, he sees he was wrong about you, and tries to reassure his position.
Asa ca spune-i sa se duca pulii de suflet, si vezi de viata ta. Nu ai nevoie de jigodii de-astea, ei au nevoie de tine.
PS:
I had this best friend, and he had one big problem : he couldn't get into any relationship, nor establish a family. He was 34, i already had a wife and a kid. He was very close to us, visiting us, staying weekends at us (we live in different cities). We always treated him good, never made fun of his issues or stuff like that. Until at 35, when he finally managed to find a woman. Since then, i'm like a bad dream to him. He avoids me as much as possible, i represent all he craved and couldn't have, i am a live testimony of all those years he "failed". Now that he thinks he made it, i'm not in his area of interest anymore. We were friends for 15 years, btw.
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator
Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Mon, 18th Mar 2013 02:11 Post subject: |
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Sounds like he used u as a crutch to make himself look better back then. Now things are changing and he doesn't like it.
e woman thing is odd and a backstabbing thing to me, my friends and I would never look at each other's girls or ever dare date each other's exs or evennnnn someone one of us was even interested in before much less dated.
f those boundaries which are common sense can't be respected then u need new friends mate.
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Mon, 18th Mar 2013 07:40 Post subject: |
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I talked with'im and I told him my point of view and that he shouldn't bother giving me calls or asking me to hang out anymore. What surprised me is that most of my other friends congratulated me for this, almost everyone rejects him now. While I do feel like shit for this, it was a long time coming, and he was a backstabbing idiot. Good riddance.
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| Posted: Mon, 18th Mar 2013 12:50 Post subject: |
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How did he react to you speaking up? and what did he say for himself?
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Mon, 18th Mar 2013 13:12 Post subject: |
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After I told him all of my gripes with his behavior (in a rather aggressive way, my dislike for behavior obviously took the better of me), he started apologizing and stuff, I told him it's a bit too late for that since I put up with his douchebaggery for several months now. He also said that he was somewhat jealous because I started doing okay but I told him that's no freakin' excuse, considering I always stood out of the way when he found someone and that his behavior was uncalled for, especially when he should've been happy I was doing okay. If I would have bragged about it without a pause, I would have understood, but the last straw was him trying to contact my current girlfriend for the purposes he said, I have nothing against my friends talking with my SO, it's not like I own her or anything, but he wanted to talk to her for all the wrong reasons and motives, and that it was the second time he did this, the first time being strictly for spiting me. Afterwards we shook hands and went our separate ways.
I truly hope he understood, I'd rather not make a big deal out of this, not because I'm afraid or anything, but I am not comfortable to get rid of my friends like this, and this is certainly the first time I got rid of someone for these reasons. I dunno, it feels strange, our friendship always endured, but for some months now, it was really shit.
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| Posted: Mon, 18th Mar 2013 13:26 Post subject: |
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You did good! But if you for some reason like this guy as you were best friends, i think you would find him a much better friend if you ever gave him a chance in a while.
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Mon, 18th Mar 2013 13:38 Post subject: |
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Time will tell, seeing as how it took him several months for me to be bothered by his behavior (I forgive really easy and I rarely hold a grudge). However, I should be careful, good people are often mistaken for fools. I do not want that to be the case with he and I.
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