Me and my g/f met while we were both in college (about fifteen years ago) and we hit it off quite nicely. Since I was leaving for army basic training in a little over four months, we decided that we weren't going to get too serious and just have a good time. During this time, we grew very close and she would sometimes stop talking to me for a few days (which, at the time, I assumed was because she needed to have some space). Other than that, we had a great time.

Fast forward four months and I'm leaving for basic training and tech school (I was going to be gone for approx. nine months), and we decided that we cared for each other too much to just let things go, so her mom got her a 1-800 number so I could call her anytime, toll-free.

During the time that I was away, I felt the normal disconnected jealousy that any man might feel given the same circumstances. I never let on that I was feeling that way, but I also noticed that she was growing more distant (which I completely understood). At the end of my basic training, I was given a month to come home and relax before my tech school (EOD, in Alabama). Once I got home, I did not expect things to go back to the way that they were before, but I at least wanted to see her a few times. She never answered her phone, emails, or any of the letters that I mailed to her (I almost went to her house a few times just to see if she was even there, but that was crossing a line that I did not want to).

On my last day at home, she called and apologized for not responding. I was quite angry at the time and probably acted unkind to her, but I apologized and explained that I didn't think that it was such a good idea for us to talk to each other anymore. I also told her that I still cared for her, but it seemed as though out paths were not meant to cross at this point in time.

Fast forward two years. I was in the Kuwaiti desert (this was before 9/11, just for a point of reference), destroying unexploded ordinance from the first gulf war, and I got injured (almost had my right arm blown off). Because of this, I got an early discharge from the army and got to go home almost two full years before my four year commitment was up.

Once I got home, I moved into my own apartment and started on my recovery. During that time, I started working for my family's business and began working my way up through the ranks. About four months later, I met another girl and we started seeing each other. During that time I ran into my ex at a party that some friends threw for my homecoming. Of course, we got to talking and we decided to just be friends, after all, we had so much in common. A few months later, the girl that I was seeing started using xtc a lot and started hanging out with some people that I didn't really like. Of course, this led to some friction and I eventually decided that it was best if I moved on, so I broke up with her (which apparently broke her heart because she almost immediately moved back home to Kansas). I did not let my other ex know about all of this, because I did not want her to think that she had a chance with me.

After all of these things had happened, I became a fairly bitter and cynical person and would pretty much just treat any woman I met with much disdain and quite a bit of animosity. This led to my old ex ostracizing me and telling me that she wanted to have nothing to do with me. It was at that moment that I realized that I was a complete and utter asshole and that I needed to do a lot of work on myself.

Fast forward almost two years. I was playing pool at a local pool hall when my old ex (not the one that moved) walked in and immediately recognized me and came over and gave me a big hug. She said that she had been meaning to call me as she had only recently found out about my other ex's drug problem and that she completely understood why I was so angry with women and that she had definitely played a part in all of my anger. She apologized and bought me a beer and we sat down to talk. We must have talked for at least four hours, because by the time I started to feel tired, the bar was closing and we exchanged numbers and emails and promised that we would talk again soon. A few months later, we decided that there was too much between us to only be friends.

Fast forward ten years. We just celebrated out tenth anniversary together and we are still having a wonderful time being with each other. Because of our past experiences, we have been able to be completely honest with each other about what we want out of our relationship. It's this honesty that, I believe, is the reason that we have been, and continue to be so happy. We have no plans on having children, nor do we have any plans to get married. We are just living in the moment, having a good time, and not really putting too much thought into it. Like all good adults should.

I hope this has helped you, and if not:

Spoiler:

Fuck her in teh butt