Its really been bothering me but ive started seeing this girl i really like. But when im with her im very nervous and my anxiety is through the roof.
Im usually good with the ladies, but none i've been with have really made me feel anything for them
This time its different though, I like her alot but fear im pushing her away with my anxiety. Also we're from two different cultures and theres pretty much of a difference even though we're from the same country.
I have a stutter but the last few years have been a real step forward and im not at all bothered with the fact that i stutter anymore.
Its kinda like my brain shuts down when im with her, my breathing is heavy. I loose all sense of comfort and im thrown into a tornado of very strong positive and negative emotion.
All this said, she sends me text messages, calls me up and I call her. We kissed the last time we saw each other when we said goodnight. So I know she likes me, but I just cant seem to relax around her.
It would be so easy to go the fuck up the butt route, but sometimes that just leaves a sore behind...
Please wise experts of this hump, give me some advice.
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
Tell her what you wrote here, she'll tell you it's fine and that she likes you too (if she does of course), you'll feel a lot more comfortable and the anxiety will pass within a couple of dates. It's a vicious cycle, you feel anxious because you feel anxious. By trying to suppress it you make it worse.
Thnx guys, even the ones who wrote fuck up the butt. I know you say it with love
I also realized I hadent shot my load in a week, something that adds the the preassure and anxiety quite alot so first thing i did was shakin hands with the man. I feel better.
As Mister_s wrote, its a vicious cycle. You feel anxious and you feel anxious for having anxiety and so it goes round and round. Add to that my speech and tone of voice that gets lower when i feel like this.
Its also interesting how you drop stuff, bump into things the more nervous you are. And that makes you really feel like a clumbsy idiot.
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
ALCOHOL AND VALIUM is the answer! Not combined tho
I was going to suggest that myself...Have a shot or 2 b4 you meet and you'll be fine.. Or the alternative is 10-20mg of val, if you can get them that is...Instant fix.
In this case it would only add to the anxiety as shes very hot. Dont have any valium but I'll try some meditation, also Ive drank coffe before when meeting her, coffe adds alot to the anxious feelings so im gonna stay away from that for tonight.
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
Damn what a night, I send her home beaming with joy and happiness. I love you guys for all your support.
Seriously one of the best dates of my life. I think she might be something special, this one...
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
In this case it would only add to the anxiety as shes very hot. Dont have any valium but I'll try some meditation, also Ive drank coffe before when meeting her, coffe adds alot to the anxious feelings so im gonna stay away from that for tonight.
wait you dated her more than a few times, and still haven't seen her naked?
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
Damn what a night, I send her home beaming with joy and happiness. I love you guys for all your support.
Seriously one of the best dates of my life. I think she might be something special, this one...
So what did you do in the end? Did you follow my advice, by any chance?
Thats exactly what I did. I was completely honest with her. Told her how I felt, that i was nervous around her, but i also learned something about her tonight, I learned that I have to be myself be honest. We had a speech and afterwards a stone was lifted from my shoulders. All of a sudden we were so much more relaxed and she texted me back just now saying she never felt anything like tonight before.
Im so relieved right you. Tonight Im very proud of myself.
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
Lots of good stuff in here. I like the honesty. I know for me the act of admitting that I am nervous helps me overcome it.
I don't have a real stutter but before when I was nervous, like public speaking, it got really bad and controlling it was way outta the question. It was always in the first part of the sentence. So frustrating. ...Just waiting for my turn to come next.
I have been doing some public speaking at events now, at podiums on microphones the last year and it is amazing the difference. I can even get a sense of humor across. I still feel a bit nervous but people say I look comfortable up there. Sometimes when I get up there I even say that I am nervous.
I am really into the meditation as well, I do some of the guided ones that use Theda waves.
Im an iranian living in sweden, and have done so for over 20 years. Im raised there and so im more accoustemed to that culture. The girl im seeing now is an iranian living in iran. I wouldnt believe the difference to be this huge, and one thing she said during our talk yesterday was her fear of us becoming "lost in Translation" which is an expression we use when we dont really understand what the other person is saying.
The iranian culture is about subtleties, people often say one thing but the think something else. Behind all the smiles and laughters there might be deep hostility.
I on the other hand im a very direct person in general, I hate being to subtle and also living is sweden where people are more simple when it comes to communication leaves me a bit nervous at times during social events in Iran. I have to censor myself abit and that makes me unsure of myself, what I should and shouldnt say. Add to that the anxiety and stutter and you begin to realize my predicament.
Im currently on vacation in iran, I've spend some time with her during the week and will do so for the entire visit which is 4 weeks.
Also thnx pistolshrimp for the tip about theda (theta?) wave meditation. Found some videos about it on youtube.
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
Whats gonna happen when you go back to Sweden? Will you still see her?
I dont know, we've been talking on the phone for a year now and so far things have gone well during my stay in iran despite a few setbacks related to anxiety etc
So if everything goes well I'm gonna ask her if she wants to come to sweden with me, but it wont be until next year the earliest if we decide to get married.
Im thinking we can see each other again during the winter, as perhaps spring and then for the summer of 2012 I'll go to iran and marry her. But for now we're just dating and spending time together. Its always hard for people to really get to know each other when time is short. So Im planning on being with her as much as possible now and then talk to her over the phone as we have done before my iran visit this summer.
Sometimes you just have to take a shot, this girl has a very nice personality (no doesent mean shes ugly ) and thats the most important thing. Everything else can be worked out if theres mutual love and respect.
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
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