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 Posted: Thu, 2nd Sep 2010 13:58 Post subject: |
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| Reklis wrote: | almost three years.
And the not wanting me to see her vulnerable thing. I was there when her mom died. I don't think you get any more vulnerable than that 
btw. been to the funeral was actually a "nice" service. Apart from being catholic.
Holy hell, what is it with catholics and the whole "we're all sinners", everything is suffering and (my total favorite) "god moves in mysterious ways"
Now why could that be my favorite?
Take today. The woman that died was 27, married and had a little boy not yet 3 years old who's gonna grow up without his mom.
What in the holy name of raptor jesus could god's great plan in this situation be?
But I digress.
Like I said I think (haven't asked her that yet but will do so) she thought she could handle it alone but realized that she wanted to have a shoulder to lean on.
I gladly provided her that shoulder (though me having to rescheldung my whole day kinda sucked).
Even if AM is about to come up again and tell me she's wearing the trousers in the relationship, if my gf feels shitty and needs comfort I do that because I love her and I think that's something you do for people you love, right?
on yet another completely different note:
I think my gf is pretty messed up by now.
In the course of 5 years she lost both her parents and a good friend to cancer.
Is it shrink tiem for her?
I've been to a shrink before, after my ex broke up with me, boy that fucked me up big time.
So I know they can help you get past issues. Maybe even issues you didn't realize you had?
(No, my gf ain't crazy and I won't be forcing her to see a shrink that's something a person has to decide for themselves. Just asking if people think that a series of deaths warrants a visit to a shrink.) |
Well I suppose if you talk to her about how she feels about the sudden loss of several loved ones and tell her you will always be there for her if she needs to talk you've done your duty. Just make sure she doesnt shut you out, because there is nothing more frustrating than that for both you and her.
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| Posted: Thu, 2nd Sep 2010 14:09 Post subject: |
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Talking is the only way, ask her after a few days. Maybe drink some wine, have a pretty relaxed atmosphere. Im amazed at the level of communication the average couple has, not saying that about you Reklis but I've had friends in the past who've been with a partner, and been with them for several years. Still they keep asking people around them for advice instead of just talking with each other.
Anyway a shrink might be a good idea, or atleast just try to talk to her. Some people have a hard time opening up and talk about their feelings so maybe you can reach her by relating with the way shes feeling. Maybe you've lost someone and can share your toughts about that period with her?
I had a gf a few years back with severe emotional problems duo to being raped when she was a child. I could relate thtough my battles with my stutter and all the emotional baggage that comes along with that so we connected on a very deep level, and shared a pretty strong bond together because of this.
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
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| Posted: Thu, 2nd Sep 2010 14:11 Post subject: |
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| Acer wrote: | Talking is the only way, ask her after a few days. Maybe drink some wine, have a pretty relaxed atmosphere. Im amazed at the level of communication the average couple has, not saying that about you Reklis but I've had friends in the past who've been with a partner, and been with them for several years. Still they keep asking people around them for advice instead of just talking with each other.
Anyway a shrink might be a good idea, or atleast just try to talk to her. Some people have a hard time opening up and talk about their feelings so maybe you can reach her by relating with the way shes feeling. Maybe you've lost someone and can share your toughts about that period with her?
I had a gf a few years back with severe emotional problems duo to being raped when she was a child. I could relate thtough my battles with my stutter and all the emotional baggage that comes along with that so we connected on a very deep level, and shared a pretty strong bond together because of this. |
Dont forget to fuck her in teh butt.
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| Posted: Thu, 2nd Sep 2010 14:13 Post subject: |
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| Ragedoctor wrote: | | Acer wrote: | Talking is the only way, ask her after a few days. Maybe drink some wine, have a pretty relaxed atmosphere. Im amazed at the level of communication the average couple has, not saying that about you Reklis but I've had friends in the past who've been with a partner, and been with them for several years. Still they keep asking people around them for advice instead of just talking with each other.
Anyway a shrink might be a good idea, or atleast just try to talk to her. Some people have a hard time opening up and talk about their feelings so maybe you can reach her by relating with the way shes feeling. Maybe you've lost someone and can share your toughts about that period with her?
I had a gf a few years back with severe emotional problems duo to being raped when she was a child. I could relate thtough my battles with my stutter and all the emotional baggage that comes along with that so we connected on a very deep level, and shared a pretty strong bond together because of this. |
Dont forget to fuck her in teh butt. |
Unfortunetly Reklis gf doesent like that, and he doesent want to "force" his way in. So no luck...
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
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Ankh
Posts: 23349
Location: Trelleborg
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| Posted: Thu, 2nd Sep 2010 14:24 Post subject: |
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| Reklis wrote: | | I was there when her mom died. I don't think you get any more vulnerable than that ;)you love, right? |
Depends on...where you the cause of her death?
shitloads of new stuff in my pc. Cant keep track of it all.
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| Posted: Thu, 2nd Sep 2010 14:27 Post subject: |
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| Ankh wrote: | | Reklis wrote: | | I was there when her mom died. I don't think you get any more vulnerable than that ;)you love, right? |
Depends on...where you the cause of her death? |
Did she die by damage to her anal cavities, if so I know who was the perpetrator.
 Spoiler: | iGaytan  |
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| Posted: Sun, 12th Sep 2010 16:55 Post subject: women... |
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| Posted: Sun, 12th Sep 2010 17:55 Post subject: |
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Women never plan like men do, men make a plan then decide how and when they will go through with the plan.
Women on the other hand do not make decisions, for them it is a continuing process even if they say they made a decision they can change at any time.
Why? because the male and female brain are different they work in different ways.
Per Ardua Ad Astra
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Sun, 12th Sep 2010 19:36 Post subject: |
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yeah, this weekend I asked my mum girl stuff for the first time in my life. I literally said "Mum, do you girls have a secret manual? I could really use it"
So I asked some girl friends of mine on a BBQ about 'chick logic' and my friend explained it like this
"You know, girls want it on their way, but sometimes they are faking it so you do more effort enforcing your way. But on the other hand, sometimes you just have to follow their way"
Well I guess that is the secret manual I have been looking for...
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| Posted: Sun, 12th Sep 2010 20:18 Post subject: |
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Prime rule when dealing with a girl: disregard any logic your brain tries to come up with. there is no logic. "Yes" can mean "no", "come" can mean "go" and "hi" can mean "fuck off". Never try to anticipate the next step and never try to imagine how a discussion could go, you'll always end up with a big "WTF!?". Just go with the flow, simple as that. Especially when dealing with teh girl he loves, a guy can endlessly go in circles trying to figure the girl out.
We men need to be prepared for anything at all times.
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| Posted: Sun, 12th Sep 2010 20:34 Post subject: |
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Since you are asking for advice I will tell you mine.
I would tell her that you want to go and support her, then I would drop asking to go again but would ask her how she was feeling about it and just listen. If you make plans and she she changes her mind I would reconsider changing yours. If you do decide to change your plans do it because you want to be there for her and not expect anything in return, like she owes you or anything. Don't take any of her actions person because this isn't about you. Have respect that she may not know how she is feeling from moment to moment, death is a confusing emotion and you go through different stages as you grieve.
Why I say only ask once is because you have already presented a supportive option for her and it would set you up in the future to be in a co-dependent relationship which you would later resent. (like now it seems) It is important to establish healthy boundries right in the beginning of a relationship. Ya, I got huge boundries issues.
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