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 Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 03:59 Post subject: Moving in with my gf |
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So. First off some background info, I'll try and keep this as basic as possible.
End of january this year my gf's mom died. Her dad died two years ago.
At the time her mom died she wasn't living with her any more. Her 19 year old brother however was.
After her mom died she moved back in with her brother because, well he mght be 19 but he's nowhere near being able to live alone (well, back in february he wasn't).
So now she's living with her brother in her mother's appartment.
Her brother wants to move out (let's see how long it takes him to do that) and then, sooner or later, I'm gonna move in with her (I'm still living with my parents, rather pathetic at 23 but fuck, even with student loans etc. I couldn't afford a decent place on my own).
Since we kinda silently agreed on the fact that I'm gonna move in with her I just wanted to "probe the territory" and see how she feels about certain... redecorations (since most of the furniture, decorations etc. are from her mom).
And well, let's put it like this:
When I move in with her there isn't gonna be much of "my touch" in the appartment.
She's not agaisnt chaning stuff but I feel as if I might move into a done place which doesn't allow me to put some of my ideas regarding furniture etc. to work.
Then again, right now my room is about 2,40 metres by 3,60 metres (that's about 8 foot by 12 foot for you imperials out there  ) so it's not like I that much space to unfold myself here.
I know sooner or later I'll have to talk to her about it but it's just... well, stupid fear, I guess. Fear of how she reacts, fear of myself not wanting to move in with her (if that makes any sense), fear of moving in with her but being "caught" in a place that doesn't feel like home to me.
I don't even know why I'm writing this. It's not like I expect any of you to come up with _the_ solution bu I guess I just wanted to get it off my mind.
Of course I could talk to my friends and family about that but I guess you know the feeling that sometimes it's easier and better to talk to people you don't know about shit 'n stuff.
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 05:32 Post subject: |
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Ah crud, yeah that's what I meant. And lunch, tell her to make some.
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WaldoJ
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Posts: 32678
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 05:37 Post subject: |
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ask yourself this...
do you have someone now to do your laundry?
do you now have someone to make you dinner?
can you wake up with a hard on and have someone take care of it asap?
can you walk around in your underwear and not feel bad?
seriously... the place is done...
you want to change it up... talk to her...
right now ease into the whole... morning sex... night sex... warm food on the table and clean sox every moning routine... then tell her to remove that ugly garfunkel painting and replace it with your own goatse picture...
stuff like that takes time.. just like anal..
if you got fast at it.. she's a slut and will do anything to taste shit on a mans cock
if she's a proper girl, she'll say no at first, then she'll say maybe and then she'll be riding your cock while you're vacuuming the house..
or better yet... tell her to make you a sandwich and if it's not up to standards one of her priced possession goes out the window... that way she learns to cook, to respect your rules and you can put your gay shit on the wall and stuff....
stop being such a girl... it's not like you have to wear her bra or something
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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helvete
Posts: 2727
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 05:42 Post subject: |
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Waldo knows his shit.
REPOST
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nouseforaname
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Posts: 21306
Location: Toronto, Canada
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nouseforaname
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Posts: 21306
Location: Toronto, Canada
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helvete
Posts: 2727
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 08:11 Post subject: |
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Hey, what's so wrong with living with your parents? I can do:
| WaldoJ wrote: | ask yourself this...
do you have someone now to do your laundry? (my mom  )
do you now have someone to make you dinner? (my mom or me )
can you wake up with a hard on and have someone take care of it asap? (me  )
can you walk around in your underwear and not feel bad? (well yeah, it's laundry...)
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Now living with your parents at the age of ~28 or so, well that's a bit weird, but I've heard of it...
Oh and OT: you're making a big deal of it, all you need is TV and beer (comp is really optional, but I would bring that too  )...
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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lhzr
Posts: 3902
Location: RO
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 09:21 Post subject: |
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Last edited by lhzr on Thu, 24th Dec 2015 14:26; edited 3 times in total
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Hierofan
Banned
Posts: 3807
Location: Internets
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 09:38 Post subject: Re: Moving in with my gf |
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man , it's her apartment , if she wants fuckin swatikas on the wallz you can't do jack about it , you're not married , it's only her territory
it's apparent that you grew too confortable with your own surroundings , and by the looks of it .. you're not ready to live with anyone else than yourself since it'll unsettle your ideas of comfort.
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 12:16 Post subject: |
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Fuck you guys, I'm 26 and still living at home
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helvete
Posts: 2727
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 12:37 Post subject: |
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just move in with her. what's the worst that could happen? if you step on each other's toes, you can still go back to your parents
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 13:08 Post subject: |
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You're afraid you'll be moving in to a place where you don't/never will feel 'at home' because nothing is as the way you would like to have it? It will feel like living at a friend/relative's place. You might try to find out how your g/f feels about your input if you guys decide to do some 'IKEAing'.
Your only other option is to get your own place with all its costs/benefits but sooner or later it will come down to exactly this. Finding out whether you can live with some one besides yourself. Now whether you move in with someone like now or the girl moves in with you the result will be same. Both will have to make some adjustments in terms of lifestyle, furniture, etc.
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Horrordee
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Posts: 8867
Location: England
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 15:01 Post subject: |
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I am 23, my Fianceé is 23. we have a house and I couldn't be happier - getting married next Summer. You think i'm too young? I dont care, I earn $60k a year so I'm happy.
Life is what you make of it.
Space for rent. Contact me for rates!
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 15:12 Post subject: |
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| Horrordee wrote: | I am 23, my Fianceé is 23. we have a house and I couldn't be happier - getting married next Summer. You think i'm too young? I dont care, I earn $60k a year so I'm happy.
Life is what you make of it. |
Well. Getting a house is defo easier if you gota well paying job.
Like I said, I'm living baiscally from student loans at my parents place because I couldn't afford an own place.
When I'm done though (in about 5 years or so) and I've got my master of science in computer science well, then I can think about moving to a nice house but till then, no luck on that end ;D
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 15:58 Post subject: |
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$60,000 a year? dont you work in GAME or something mate?
or maybe that was Headshot. I cant remember.
troll detected by SiN
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 16:25 Post subject: |
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Headshot worked in a game store.
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WaldoJ
VIP Member
Posts: 32678
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 16:28 Post subject: Re: Moving in with my gf |
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| Reklis wrote: | The stuff I don't like is her dead mom's stuff.
It's not like it's her's. It's all her mother stuff that's still around.
Let's see how long it takes her brother to move out anyway.
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ummm... if that is how you feel about her and her relationship with he dead mother then i think you should go find some other girl to sleep with...
to put it simply you're an asshole...
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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Horrordee
Soderator
Posts: 8867
Location: England
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 16:33 Post subject: |
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| wgem wrote: | $60,000 a year? dont you work in GAME or something mate?
or maybe that was Headshot. I cant remember. |
Noes. I am the web analytics lead for a FTSE 100 company.
Space for rent. Contact me for rates!
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WaldoJ
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Posts: 32678
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 16:52 Post subject: |
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lol ... they're not there cause they're angels angels... they're there cause her mum collected them and then her mum died... people do things when other people die... TA FUCKING DAH
go yell at her about the angels... go yell at her how it's lame and studpid and gay... then come back here if you're still in a relationship...
that thare yelling about how you been there for her and stuff... makes it all seem you've been there for her cause she was your girl at the time (and you feel like you wasted time, and are regretting it and trying to justify it)... and this here right thare shows how insensitive you arr....
im not trying to piss you off or anything, but it's stuff she collects cause of her dead mum... she's leaving stuff around to remind her of her dead mum... people cope with death differently... if you expect her to cope with death the way you do... it's lol
ps... grow up... you want the angels gone... tell her. simple. don't turn it into a spectacle... you're not more important to her than her already dead mother... fuckin egotistical asshole...
Ps. I'm only expecting a 24 hour ban... because i'm right and stuff and ummm this boys needs to be taught a lesson and should stop visiting 4chan. kthnxbye?
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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lhzr
Posts: 3902
Location: RO
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 17:01 Post subject: |
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Last edited by lhzr on Thu, 24th Dec 2015 14:25; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Wed, 23rd Sep 2009 17:13 Post subject: |
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| lhzr wrote: | | waldo's right, reklis. it's her mom that died, not some far-away aunt. take it easy and don't push the angel thing too far with her, if she's not receptive when you mention they're kinda stuffing the place up |
I haven't even touched that subject and I don't intend to do so until the point at which I move in with her gets closer (again, not before her brother moves out and only god knows how long he's gonna need for that)
All this stuff I kinda "complain" about I haven't even talked to her about because I know grief and I know that shit takes time, I was there for her, I am there for her.
Would any mod around here be so nice as to lock or delete this thread?
If this goes on I guess it's gonna end bad...
@Waldo:
I guess in your head it looks like I'm running through the room looking all paranoid and shit and yelling "ANGELS ANGELS EVERYWHERE!!! AAAAAH!!!"
If that's what you're thinking you _are_ an idiot and to assume things about me is as accurate as watching porn and thinking about what good gf's the actresses would make.
You're not doing that, right?
You don't know me, you don't know my gf you don't know how either of us ticks so stop assuming stuff, ok?
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