and it happens again
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dominae
Banned



Posts: 2425

PostPosted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 23:20    Post subject:
Max, I feel for you bro.
There's nothing that will make these next months easier, but thinking you will get back with her is just gonna be more torture than it's worth. The relationship ended for a reason. Usually once one partner get to the point of breaking up after a long relationship, that is it. Of course that is a rule with exceptions, but you can't hope for that.

Expect the next months to be like this and try to do something to keep your mind and body active. I would start jogging with loud music or something that would get you physically exhausted before getting to bed.

And leaving work is a downward spiral, sitting at home will just be worse for you mate.

GL, this is shit. But you will make it - several other dudes have done it. And no, you're not alone.


I also think fisk should be unbanned.
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Cohen




Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 01:10    Post subject:
how are you doing dude?

Got some sleep yet? Here.. take this from me, I leave my itunes on with a radio station playing on low volume when i hit the sack with a warm drink before I go.. It helps me to sleep when im on edge. Even if you are not sleeping just lying there with your eyes closd listening to the radio is the best thing as it is rest in some form. eventually you WILL fall asleep, sleep is a natural chemical reaction NOT a psychological triggered occurrence. As others have said, she sounds like she isnt 'the one' so dont get too upset over it right? Smile

Ive heard that 'break' one before.. its just AKA for "i dont want to be with you and i dont want to deal with you right now so il tell you we are on a break for a while so you leave me alone'. Dont be a mug, fuck her. Let her see you arent like a lapdog over the breakup and you will get the truth.


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CookieCrumb




Posts: 4670
Location: Celephaïs
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 01:16    Post subject:
kinda off topic but i'm totally gonna try that out when i suffer from insomnia or an insomniac-ish state ^^ although i'm not the warm milk & honey type...
seriously been suffering from that shit a lot lately

back on topic.
i've heard the break thingie before, too but in my case she really meant it but it still didn't work out in the end, so i'm suspicious of that line by now
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Dazz99




Posts: 7301

PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 02:03    Post subject:
im always here for you, MAD_MAX333.


cockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcock
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$en$i
VIP Member



Posts: 3127

PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 02:34    Post subject:
Sorry for you mate! Five years seems often to be a turning point, where either it goes forward or it breaks up badly, with that challenge to have to reconstruct most of your present life after that an huge part of it has just vanished... I can only wish you good luck, simply stating that all things considered better to move on quickly after the post-divine surprise hangover, coz whatever may happens it will just never be the same, and a newly found distrust or insecurity within a hypothetically reformed couple would only bury you deeper...
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Cohen




Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 02:58    Post subject:
$en$i wrote:
Sorry for you mate! Five years seems often to be a turning point, where either it goes forward or it breaks up badly, with that challenge to have to reconstruct most of your present life after that an huge part of it has just vanished... I can only wish you good luck, simply stating that all things considered better to move on quickly after the post-divine surprise hangover, coz whatever may happens it will just never be the same, and a newly found distrust or insecurity within a hypothetically reformed couple would only bury you deeper...


Very true. In simpler terms, its worse being with someone in doubt than being with someone that doesnt work at all.


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MAD_MAX333
Moderator



Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 06:54    Post subject:
thanks guys... friends took me out for shisha... then another group took me out for movie... bangkock dangrous... LOL it was pure action but i slept like a baby in the movie , it was jsut distracting enough to stop me from thinking and yet i was exhusted enough to fucking pass out.
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pistolshrimp
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Posts: 11007

PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 07:00    Post subject:
You are lucky you have friends to go out with. Glad you got some sleep.
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator



Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 07:13    Post subject:
in other news i totally forgot about a court date i had and that is not a good thing... by sunday when my next shift starts, i should be fine though.
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Cohen




Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 10:49    Post subject:
Laughing you slept in the movies? well, I guess that is a start. Next thing you should do is try to fall asleep watching another movie at home Smile

All you will need is 8 hours and trust me you will feel a world of good.


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Pfiemelcheese




Posts: 1385
Location: Usually talking from my arse
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 11:33    Post subject:
Remove any and all memorabilia you have of her, that should be your first step, second step is hitting her where it hurts(if you know she fucked you over that is, else you can't do this), third step is find another girl you can screw, those are the methods I allways use. I don't believe in sulking for too long anymore, that shit indeed gets you nowhere, the best way to forget her is just to move on asap, it shows your strength to yourself and to the fucking cunt that left you. Just remember her face when she sees you already found someone else should the two of you meet.

Women allways make swift decisions, its only after a week, 2,3 weeks that they begin to wonder and their curiosity shit kicks in, thats when she will start investigating how you are coping.

After my ex broke up with me, it took me 2,5 weeks and I was already out searching for someone else, and I think even that was too long for me, I have cut that time to 1 week now, as far as that shit is concerned I just don't give a fuck anymore, thats how strong I have become. One relationship is over, fuck it, on to bigger and better, if the cunt comes back, give her one chance and one chance only, but don't go groveling back cuz that never works, she'll just see you as a bigtime loser(been there, done that and never again).

PS : Just read through some of your other answers, and I'm gonna lay this on you gently, the stuff she says about her needing time is the biggest slice of baloney someone can feed a guy. You should read it like this 'I'd really like you to stay the fuck out of my life, i'm saying this to give you false hope and to get you off my back easily without having to waste too many words cuz I'm too chicken shit to tell you the truth'. I have enormous people skills and read into lines so good I sometimes scare myself, when I met this new chick 2 weeks ago and I met all her friends I knew in 1 instant which the fuckers and the nice people were, people talking with two faces to me best tattoo 'I am transparant' on their forehead.

So sorry Max, move on, don't sulk another day, its not worth it.


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Devi-Lee




Posts: 659
Location: Slovenia
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 12:14    Post subject:
Yep nothing blunts the pain like fresh pussy. Although it can be hard to get it on when all you can think about is your ex. So I recommend alcohol.... lots of alcohol Very Happy Makes you forget, gives you headaches so you can't think.

I know that I get over it when I can't see her face in my mind anymore. And it gets easier with years because you learn about mental hygiene, to just wipe it clean.
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Pfiemelcheese




Posts: 1385
Location: Usually talking from my arse
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 12:19    Post subject:
Its important to allways remember the things you hated about her, if there's nothing then just make shit up and believe in it.


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WaldoJ
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Posts: 32678

PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 12:31    Post subject:
Pfiemelcheese wrote:
Its important to allways remember the things you hated about her, if there's nothing then just make shit up and believe in it.


lol wtf?


Sin317 wrote:
I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself.
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Pfiemelcheese




Posts: 1385
Location: Usually talking from my arse
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 12:42    Post subject:
Its called blacking out the positive stuff Waldo, it works for me and it surely will help him, once all the heartache is gone and you'r over her you can remember the good things again and not feel bad. Right now its all about healing his heart, and to do so by all means necessary.

I am just giving pointers eh, not everyone works the same, takes alot of imagination, but maybe I am blessed with that gift as it works miracles for me.


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Cohen




Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 12:50    Post subject:
so we are in agreement shes a cunt whos leading him on with false hopes and should he sulk anymore in her case he needs a slap Smile


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WaldoJ
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Posts: 32678

PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 12:55    Post subject:
so i was right with all my talk stuff no? Surprised


I just don't know how you can force yourself to hate someone you once believed you loved. Yah you can grow out of loving them, but forcing yourself to hate and looking for bogus reasons... that's some heavy shit.


Sin317 wrote:
I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself.
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Pfiemelcheese




Posts: 1385
Location: Usually talking from my arse
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 12:59    Post subject:
Yep thats exactly what I am saying, and I'd even go further than that and say he should hate her fucking guts so hard his heart turns black in resentment. Thats how you deal with this shit, maybe I am unique in these cases I dunno, I just reletavize everything and think if she tells me off then she's just not worth it so why should I be the one sitting here sulking while she's having her pussy examined by some other smuck, sorry but that shit just don't fly with me.

You go do some pussydigging yourself, and even forget about giving her a second chance, if she comes crawling back just give her a kick in the pussyflaps, that'll send a clear message you'r alpha male material.


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LanceBullet




Posts: 1089
Location: UK manchester
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 13:02    Post subject:
Question is though, does that mentality allow you to get to where the TS was in the first place?
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Pfiemelcheese




Posts: 1385
Location: Usually talking from my arse
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 13:06    Post subject:
It sure does, cuz I only act like this when I am in a breakup, when I have a loving relationship I give it my all. Here we'r talking about how to forget people easily, its all a made up act to behave, you'r making it out as if I am like this 24/7, and if you really think that you really should learn to read before you ask such silly questions.

I am telling him how I get over failed relations, and it works miracles, cuz really tell me, how many times did you have a relationship where wallowing in selfpity and waiting out has worked out for you, and where the girl came back on her own regard. NEVER. So best he lives up to this fact.


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LanceBullet




Posts: 1089
Location: UK manchester
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 13:11    Post subject:
heh, sorry for the silly question.....

I'll learn to read...
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pistolshrimp
Über-VIP Member



Posts: 11007

PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 21:12    Post subject:
Just wanted to ask.


Where do you guys come up with this stuff about women? Are you one? Therefore do you really know?

Is what you are saying based on fact? It is not!

It is based on experience. So I ask you what experience have you really had with women? So what, you had a few relationships with women that worked out bad, or wrong, so from your experience all women are like that. Not the case.

I look at guys, women, (basically the people that I have met throughout my life) and they always have a 'type' they go for. Some like the bitchy type, some the snob, the abuser, the user. Something goes wrong and they wonder why? Instead of blaming the people YOU CHOOSE to date why no look at the choice you made. Is there no self reflection here?
I am sure my words will go unheard because it is not connivence for some to hear them, it doesn’t suit their needs.

My post isn’t about Max.
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LanceBullet




Posts: 1089
Location: UK manchester
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 21:20    Post subject:
That's the nature of people no?

To present narrow minded perspective based on very limited experience as a unified truth?

Up to the individual to decide whether any of the information can relate to them personally?
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pistolshrimp
Über-VIP Member



Posts: 11007

PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 21:36    Post subject:
LanceBullet wrote:
That's the nature of people no?

To present narrow minded perspective based on very limited experience as a unified truth?

Up to the individual to decide whether any of the information can relate to them personally?


I have to agree with that 100%....Yes.
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dominae
Banned



Posts: 2425

PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 22:02    Post subject:
pistolshrimp wrote:
Just wanted to ask.


Where do you guys come up with this stuff about women? Are you one? Therefore do you really know?

Is what you are saying based on fact? It is not!

It is based on experience. So I ask you what experience have you really had with women? So what, you had a few relationships with women that worked out bad, or wrong, so from your experience all women are like that. Not the case.

I look at guys, women, (basically the people that I have met throughout my life) and they always have a 'type' they go for. Some like the bitchy type, some the snob, the abuser, the user. Something goes wrong and they wonder why? Instead of blaming the people YOU CHOOSE to date why no look at the choice you made. Is there no self reflection here?
I am sure my words will go unheard because it is not connivence for some to hear them, it doesn’t suit their needs.

My post isn’t about Max.


You have to remember that many of the members of this community are insecure teenagers who have to take that fear of rejection out by degrading the opposing sex with a semblance of logic that equates to "If I talk down to women maybe they won't notice what an insecure twit I am".
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pistolshrimp
Über-VIP Member



Posts: 11007

PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 22:23    Post subject:
dominae wrote:
pistolshrimp wrote:
Just wanted to ask.


Where do you guys come up with this stuff about women? Are you one? Therefore do you really know?

Is what you are saying based on fact? It is not!

It is based on experience. So I ask you what experience have you really had with women? So what, you had a few relationships with women that worked out bad, or wrong, so from your experience all women are like that. Not the case.

I look at guys, women, (basically the people that I have met throughout my life) and they always have a 'type' they go for. Some like the bitchy type, some the snob, the abuser, the user. Something goes wrong and they wonder why? Instead of blaming the people YOU CHOOSE to date why no look at the choice you made. Is there no self reflection here?
I am sure my words will go unheard because it is not connivence for some to hear them, it doesn’t suit their needs.

My post isn’t about Max.


You have to remember that many of the members of this community are insecure teenagers who have to take that fear of rejection out by degrading the opposing sex with a semblance of logic that equates to "If I talk down to women maybe they won't notice what an insecure twit I am".



dominae

Yea, you are right. It is still hard to watch people go through their insecure/rejection stage with those types of ideas. Not that I am better, I just had different experiences.


Last edited by pistolshrimp on Fri, 12th Sep 2008 22:26; edited 2 times in total
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LanceBullet




Posts: 1089
Location: UK manchester
PostPosted: Fri, 12th Sep 2008 22:39    Post subject:
Was expecting the cheese dude to suggest burning your name in petrol on her lawn....

j/k... drunk and all.......Probably got a problem with that.....
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Pfiemelcheese




Posts: 1385
Location: Usually talking from my arse
PostPosted: Sat, 13th Sep 2008 01:32    Post subject:
The cheese dude is in his thirties, so why don't you just kindly shut the bleep up:P I had my fair share of shit, and it just doesn't get through to me anymore, its like I have elephant skin, I have a problem and I blow it away like dust in the wind. Be nice to me and I will be nice to you, fuck me over and I will fuck you over so hard you wish you were friends with the devil, thats my lifemotto, an eye for an eye, only my eye stings like a bitch. If you depart on good terms or noone went south digging in someone elses shit then I will just let it go, but if I find out some bitch didn't have the nerve to tell me and started pussyjuicing some other guys cock then payback will indeed be a bitch. I fucked over my last girlfriend and sent her into a depression, but she really did have it coming, she gave me goodbye sex the same night she ditched me, and a few days before I find out she was with another man. I never play the physical card, for me its all on the emotional level as that knife goes much deeper:LOL:

Am I a sick fucker, oooh yes I am, sometimes the plans I concoct are so fucking evil I can't help but feel like Lex Luthor:P


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MAD_MAX333
Moderator



Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
PostPosted: Sat, 13th Sep 2008 01:40    Post subject:
fuck man... this is girl i loved for 5 fucking years.. . i cant hate her... i will never hate her... lets jsut say i love and respect her so much that i want her to be happy... if she is not happy with me and wants out, then as much as it is ripping me apart, i have to allow her to leave. i like to be civil with her even if i can't be with her anymore.

as for other options, one i don't drink anymore, i don't like fucking sluts and hoes and i can't even think about getting int oa relationship right now when things are this fresh. so i guess i'm shit out of luck but to jsut tough it out.

it was just the shock of the matter... apparently she had a whole list of things that bothered her and only dropped hints and shit from time to time... all was fine till last weekend... it was fucked... 2 weeks ago she was making plans for our 5 year anniv, i had bought her a ring to give her on the anniv when we went to another city in a hotel she had designed... i look at the fucking ring and i get choked up... not only is it going to waste and not going to the woman i love, but i think how fucking stupid am i to not see any signs... either i am the worlds biggest moron or she should be an oscar winning actress.

like i had said i wrote her a letter, after reading it she called me and she had calmed down a little and spoke to me for a while... i explained how she was never clear on what bothered her and i am not a mind reader... today when i called her, she picked up but she was ice cold again because her friend was there. whenever her friend is there, she is SUPER rude and cold... when alone she is a bit more managable... her friends are egging her on to go out and go wild as a single person and never pick up on my phone calls...


anyway... i don't know what to do... i am pretty fucked right now as always... went to the gym atleast... no motivation but i did my workout...without eating its all a waste but gives me something to do... anything i try to do takes 3 times the normal amount cause i just drift off... i am cleaning my room and it has already been 2 hours since i started... took em 15 minutes to type this msg i think...

i was thinking of telling her how i was gonna give her the ring on our anniv (28th of this month) and see what she says... i dont know i have run out of ideas...
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LanceBullet




Posts: 1089
Location: UK manchester
PostPosted: Sat, 13th Sep 2008 01:44    Post subject:
I take it back killer..........
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