|
|
| Page 1 of 1 |
_SiN_
Megatron
Posts: 12108
Location: Cybertron
|
 Posted: Wed, 10th Oct 2007 16:57 Post subject: Going to Texas? Some advice. |
|
 |
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later
how to use it.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we
can. Just stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain
will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their
way.
This is what they live for.
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in the same store.
5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All
y'all's" is plural possessive.
6. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph
zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks
learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is
the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.
8. If you hear a redneck exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay
out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.
9. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity".
And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
10. There are no delis. Don't ask.
11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man's shoulder when
making a point, especially in a bar.
12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.
13. Brisket is not 'cooked' in an oven
14. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
15. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December.
16. We do TOO have 4 Seasons: December, January, February, and Summer!
17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F-150 is.
18. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't hot"
you can be certain they are.
19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to have a
bowl of guacamole handy. Water won't do it.
20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don't ask.
21. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't
mean anything's broken.
22. Don't even think of ordering a strawberry daiquiri. What you
really mean to say is 'Margarita.'
23. If you don't understand our passion for college and high school
football just keep your mouth shut.
24. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance
to the door, but the availability of shade.
25. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto
the shoulder that is called "courtesy".
26. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot
dogs outdoors.
27. No matter what you've seen on TV, line dancing is not a popular
weekend pastime.
28. "Tea" = Iced Tea. There is no other kind.
29. Everything goes better with Ranch dressing.
Watercooled 5950X | AORUS Master X570 | Asus RTX 3090 TUF Gaming OC | 64Gb RAM | 1Tb 970 Evo Plus + 2Tb 660p | etc etc
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Under
Posts: 667
Location: Scotland
|
| Posted: Wed, 10th Oct 2007 17:42 Post subject: |
|
|
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in
the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain
will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their
way.
This is what they live for.
LOOOL
Best PICKUP LINE :
"Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
|
| Posted: Wed, 10th Oct 2007 21:35 Post subject: |
|
|
Texans are nice people...least the ones ive met. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
|
| Posted: Tue, 16th Oct 2007 16:01 Post subject: |
|
|
| Immunity wrote: | I live in Texas - all these points are right on the money  |
Where abouts man?
I have family in Galveston, Mertle (spelling?), Dallas and Houston |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
sTo0z
[Moderator] Babysitter
Posts: 7449
Location: USA
|
| Posted: Tue, 16th Oct 2007 17:10 Post subject: |
|
|
Ugh, I hate Texas... 
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
| Page 1 of 1 |
All times are GMT + 1 Hour |
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
Powered by phpBB 2.0.8 © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group
|
|
 |
|
