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 Posted: Mon, 11th Dec 2006 04:55 Post subject: My Bitch. Selfish people |
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I have in a horrible situation and it is my hope that by writing this I will get it out of my system so bare with me please.
My ‘friend’ is in the nut house (the one I go to the gym with). I saw her Thurs afternoon and I swear she was fine. I drove her to her doctor and left. Her son went to work that evening.
I have seen her when she was bad before (maybe 4 years ago) but that was because she switched antidepressants. There was a real reason. She was talking about doing herself in and taking her son with her because nobody else gave a shit about him. I took her to the doctor, and I took the kid home with me for 4 days or so. I became his guardian after that.
Thurs night, I get a phone call from her and she talking like a retard. Complete baby talk about how she needs someone to look after her and how she is going to a special home for a while and a taxi is on the way for her right now.
I ask about her son who I find out is at work. I tried to get her to at least wait until he got home before she left so they could talk face to face. She didn’t, she just left. She calls me later at 10 from the place and asks me to inform her son she has left. That is hard because I don’t know what to tell him. (I am sorry, your mom’s a complete loser and wants everybody else around her to do everything for her)
I swear the more people do for her the less she does for herself. I am totally serious when I say if she could get someone else to wipe her ass for her she would. Swear to GOD. Yes I know all of this stuff are signs of mental illness but there is soo much manipulation there. I believe this also includes the raising and taking care of her son.
I have this gut feeling for a while she is going to take off and disappear. I can’t figure out for the life of me where she has gotten all this money from. She spends it on herself and nothing for her son, get others to pay her rent. I have this feeling that she has racked up her visa. (Yes people on welfare can get credit cards too) When she hits the limit and there is no more money that is when I think she is going a-wall (sp?).
When I saw her on Fri in the mental health rest home she actually said if her family finds out she is there she is going to take off and live on the street. Fucking idiot. I was right. Ohh, and the rest home told me I have to be supportive and I shouldn’t bring up the issue of her son because it makes her feel bad. HELLO fuck headed rest home mental health workers she HAS A FUCKING MINOR at home alone and I think that is more of an issue then hurting her feeling. What about his feelings? His mom isn’t talking to him either, it is too stressful on her. I don’t know the laws regarding 16 yr olds.
He is 16 so he can stay by himself but can’t support himself and be expected to conduct himself like someone in their 20’s. He has my phone number, and e-mail so he can call me if he needs something or gets into trouble. So far I haven’t talked to him because he on speaker phone and playing WoW. I wouldn’t be surprised if he playing WoW or whatever 24/7 and not in school but you know what, I am gong to leave it. She is trying to get into a long term place, who is going to pay to keep a roof over this kids head.
Now this is the part that kills me. When I said I would be the guardian I was thinking more in terms of accidents or if she gets lung cancer, not abandonment because she is too fucking lazy to look after herself and him. (who basically looks after himself anyway now) Every molecule in my body is telling me that if I move this kid in with me she will never take him back. It will be just another thing she pawns off on someone else. His child support isn’t very much either and she would probably just find excuses claiming hardship as to why she couldn’t sent it over that month too. But ya, money is an issue.
I am soo incredibly pissed off at this women. I want to hit her in the face.
Any words of wisdom from anyone?
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| Posted: Mon, 11th Dec 2006 05:04 Post subject: |
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Don't have him move in with you, just don't. For multiple reasons.
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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| Posted: Mon, 11th Dec 2006 05:21 Post subject: |
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| AnimalMother wrote: | | Don't have him move in with you, just don't. For multiple reasons. |
It would be the worst thing I could do for him. I also worry how appropriate it would be as well. His mother is a nut I can't even fathom what she is capable of saying.
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WaldoJ
VIP Member
Posts: 32678
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| Posted: Mon, 11th Dec 2006 05:25 Post subject: |
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What am said.
Don't let him move in with you. Make her accept the responsibility of having a child. If she wants to abandon him, make her tell him that she wants to abandon him. Don't do her bidding. She may be a loon and shit, but she still is a mother first and foremost.
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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| Posted: Mon, 11th Dec 2006 05:52 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | | AnimalMother wrote: | | Don't have him move in with you, just don't. For multiple reasons. |
It would be the worst thing I could do for him. I also worry how appropriate it would be as well. His mother is a nut I can't even fathom what she is capable of saying. |
A 16 year boy old living with an unrelated, single, attractive older women is only going to have one thing on his mind. Fact.
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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| Posted: Mon, 11th Dec 2006 06:10 Post subject: |
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| AnimalMother wrote: | | pistolshrimp wrote: | | AnimalMother wrote: | | Don't have him move in with you, just don't. For multiple reasons. |
It would be the worst thing I could do for him. I also worry how appropriate it would be as well. His mother is a nut I can't even fathom what she is capable of saying. |
A 16 year boy old living with an unrelated, single, attractive older women is only going to have one thing on his mind. Fact. |
Nononono. I have known him since 5 yrs old. He used to call me aunty. I drive him and his friends to the movies. He still passes his report cards to me to read.
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| Posted: Mon, 11th Dec 2006 06:20 Post subject: |
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Oh, so you have a more familial relationship with him. I was thinking you were just a friend of his mums. So maybe it would be different.
But trust me, it would still be more complex then you would like, at least on his side.
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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| Posted: Mon, 11th Dec 2006 06:34 Post subject: |
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Don't do it.
My mom constantly regrets having me.
You'll regret taking care of him.
Now, seriously speaking, do you think you are ready to support this kid?
If so, try to talk to someone (lawyer, child care services etc...) about having her sign a document effectively giving this kid over to you, and not letting her take him back. I forget the name of it now. Oh well.
Woman's obviously a shit, and its the least you can do for the kid, especially if you feel like taking him in. But don't take him in if she won't sign him over. She'll just be making you pay for his food and shit. Well sor-fucking-rry, she'll have to figure out how to do this by herself, or she doesn't even deserve to have this kid. If she won't sign the kid over, and she leaves him alone, call some welfware or some shit and tell them about it, and let them sort it out. Also hint that you're willing to take care of him if you remain as his permanent guardian.
Tough situation. Good luck :/
Sense Amid Madness, Wit Amidst Folly
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| Posted: Mon, 11th Dec 2006 12:05 Post subject: |
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Just remember that you don't have to feel responsible for the kid, it's not your child. If your planning on taking care of the kid, be sure to have good agreements about what your role will be in this situation. good luck
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deelix
PDIP Member
Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Mon, 11th Dec 2006 12:17 Post subject: |
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deelix
PDIP Member
Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Mon, 11th Dec 2006 12:26 Post subject: |
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btw, what does her kid think about this?
Dosn't sound like he care to much?
I don't mean he's not supportive.. so is he ignoring it?
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| Posted: Tue, 12th Dec 2006 08:03 Post subject: |
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| deelix wrote: | btw, what does her kid think about this?
Dosn't sound like he care to much?
I don't mean he's not supportive.. so is he ignoring it? |
The whole situation is weird. I call his house the phone is busy, almost all the time. I call the place his mom is at, that is busy too, or no one answers. I left 2 messages for her and don't get a call back.
@deelix
I don’t know if he is ignoring it because I haven’t talked to him. I have this feeling his other Aunt is with him from his mothers sisters side. I don’t want to get involved ATM if that is the case. He has my number and e-mail so...It is always best to be with family.
I do feel bad for him. Seeing his mom like this.
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Dec 2006 00:12 Post subject: Re: My Bitch. Selfish people |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | | Any words of wisdom from anyone? |
Think of it like this, if you were in his place, would you want someone to step in and take care of you?
You have a chance to influence a kid's life for the better, how often do you get to do that.  |
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Dec 2006 01:07 Post subject: |
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i wouldnt put my life on hold because some dumb bitch cares more about an easy life than making sure her kid is alright no matter how mentaly ill she apparently is.
do you really want to live this womans life for her? sounds like your best of out of the situation all together and just forgeting about it.
maybe if you were family i would be saying the oposite but it sounds like he already has family that could take care of him.
its not easy raising a 16year old especially one who is probably off the rails already anyway , i wouldnt put my self through the stress of it all for someone who isnt even a relative
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Dec 2006 01:09 Post subject: |
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| snop1050 wrote: |
it sounds like he already has family that could take care of him.
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if yes then dont interfere.
if no then just check on the dude once a month or so imho |
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TSR69
Banned
Posts: 14962
Location: Republic of the Seven United Provinces
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Dec 2006 01:16 Post subject: |
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pistolshrimp, the best advice i can give: Don't feel responsible for things you can't change or didn't cause.
Formerly known as iconized
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Dec 2006 01:34 Post subject: |
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Never pick up a stray cat unless you are prepared to care for them the rest of their life.
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Godlikez*
Banned
Posts: 2722
Location: In Your Illusions
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Dec 2006 02:10 Post subject: |
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sounds like it would be permanent , the mother obviously doesnt care what happens to her son
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