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 Posted: Wed, 3rd Feb 2016 04:46 Post subject: Love life again |
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Well recently i met a person close to my circles, we hit it off in a trip, shes awesome, i found a lot of things in her that i value, i respect her for her thinking and life plans, just a good person with who i felt really attracted too, something unusual in me.
We keep talking, we share feelings, we share ideas, we share a lot, i confirm shes into me and in a serious serious way. So im happy as hell, i have all the time in the world. But then doubts in her start about being unsure of having a relationship, because of how little time she has from work, from hobbies, wanting to have no pressure from a relationship etc. This seem to be from past experiences?
As an old fuck with clear conscience of how i am (not jealous, not untrusty, not aggresive), i have NO problems at all with her life style and her ways. But thats exactly what makes her unsure, cant really prove it without time and being around.
So here i am, being as true as ive ever been with someone, talking a lot (i think i talked quite a bit and gave her a lot of attention, maybe that put her off thinking about her work and space), reassuring her and being great, and feeling sure as fuck that i will do my best and i find her now regressing into distance.
Sighhhh, now im just a bundle of sticks, im gonna give her space and keep being nice but im cutting back on talking so much, days ago she wanted to keep me close, now im unsure, im noticing a very known stance of wanting space, im kind of sad to notice that.
Cant really talk to anyone since i want to give her time and privacy to decide since this is going to be a big deal in my group, so i have to think this all by myself.
Man its been YEARS like 10+ since ive felt this way. This is dangerously optimal to me. Im gonna remember this one if it doesnt work out 
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Danyutz
Posts: 4418
Location: Redplanet
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| Posted: Wed, 3rd Feb 2016 09:34 Post subject: |
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Well considering what you already said, with giving her more space isn't wrong, but makes you uncertain. Thing is you already proved what you're capable of and showed her the attention she needs, it's not much you can do now, just be present, but not invasive. If she truly values what you sort of built, she will come around in time. Just be patient, as you probably know women are complex emotional beings
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13522
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| Posted: Wed, 3rd Feb 2016 10:29 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:06; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Wed, 3rd Feb 2016 13:23 Post subject: |
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@Lopin18
Just don't get caught up in the serious/not serious dilemma. It's just a relationship, no pressure.
Don't pander to a woman's drama too much. What you may think is you listening to her and discussing her life may seem like pressure to her. Don't be clingy.
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| Posted: Wed, 3rd Feb 2016 14:24 Post subject: |
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Yea i recognize when im being clingy when im being invited etc. Im sure i behaved great, since she really responded to me and looked after me with amazing care. But yesterday she told me some days ago something overwhelmed her (not my fault or about me) so i really need to give her space now. She has to decide on her own. So thats the reason why my continued behavior backfired. I did get too positive and wishful with her the last few days, that wont happen again until asked to for sure.
Im just dumbfounded, i cant really.help her out but im sure i would make her happy as hell. Im just gonna chill out and focus on the old day by day and being nice when being drawn into conversation.
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Of course, there is plenty of men that are the same, I think it's not gender specific. But I've been through something like you are now and it can be quite annoying/tiresome at times. You either want a relationship and give it a go or not, don't stand in between it doesn't help.
