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 Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 04:28 Post subject: I am having weird emotions |
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Wall of text incoming, sorry  . Ok so, I've had a really good female friend for like 6 years now. We used to hang out all the time, we're pretty open to each other and talk about anything. Our conversations can be rather weird. A few years ago she moved away for Uni, but we stayed in contact and when she visits she would usually text me asking if I wanted to hang out. (and we did). Now after she moved away, we haven't been in contact that much, sometimes it would go for months without hearing from each other. About 10 days ago or so, she texted me in the evening asking if I have Viber installed. I said I have WhatsApp but I could install Viber. She said it's fine and that she'll install WhatsApp. She wanted to show me a picture of her cuz she dyed her hair to a new color. We talked for a while and since then we were in contact more often than before. She's busy with exams so it's usually I who start the talk but she keeps it going. Now, I'm having these weird feelings ever since. Am I having a crush? I enjoy talking to her. Or is it just nostalgia and that I miss hanging out? The thing is, I don't really look at her as someone I'd date, I see her as a pretty close friend, so what are these feelings then! I am confused. This feels totally weird. I guess it is inevitable to have such feelings in male/female friendship after a while. 
P.S. Inb4 FHITB, won't happen.
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 05:09 Post subject: |
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she friend zoned you my friend ... you just became her gay friend ... guess your image gives up a vibe like that ...
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 06:02 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 13:46 Post subject: |
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| Hfric wrote: | | she friend zoned you my friend ... you just became her gay friend ... guess your image gives up a vibe like that ... |
She couldn't have friend zoned me because I never really asked/tried anything with her. And like I said, I see her as a friend, not as a partner. I guess it's just my brain being derpy and giving me weird feedback.  Also my image is quite sexy tyvm 
| shole wrote: | well, this sounds familiar
i guess you could safely tell her how great it feels to be back in touch, without 'tipping your hand'
apart from the "innevitability" factor of the opposite sex being a potential mate, being bi, i have to discard the potential of every friend i have
it's usually pretty easy (guys are gross!) but sometimes a "what if..?" lingers
the inability to completely shut out the possibility with a person you're a close friend with is a really weird feeling, especially when alone with them
closer to your situation, i recently had a similar thing with a female friend, and told her i wanted to try it out with her
the thing is, i just felt really close to her and it felt like i had to ask
i don't know if i should have or if it would ever work
but i guess it's the default biological gravity of friendship to the opposing sex
it was the next step in the rule book
she just said 
and i went 
so yea, i don't know what's going on with that yet
at the moment it's an open question but at least i didn't break anything  |
That's the biggest problem when having close friends of the opposite sex. Because you can either be friends or partners, can't have both. And if you try to take it to the next level and the friend does not feel the same like in your case, it could get awkward.(at least you didn't break it ) Could even fuck up the friendship. Thing is, like I said, I look at her as a close friend, always have, but I guess it was inevitable that sooner or later some other feelings would develop, which caught me off guard and confused me a bit. It's definitely an odd place to be at. Oh well, GTA V comes out soon as scaramonga said 
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 14:06 Post subject: |
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Last edited by paxsali on Thu, 4th Jul 2024 21:48; edited 1 time in total
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Kaltern
Posts: 5859
Location: Lockerbie, Scotland
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 14:29 Post subject: |
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It's it's going to happen, it will.
If it shouldn't happen, it won't unless one of you pushes the other - and that doesn't usually end well.
People often think they know how this whole thing works - they're wrong of course.
Being able to get a girl into bed, for example, isn't a success. It's when they make you breakfast in the morning that you know you've accomplished something
Playing Valheim every weekday at 10pm GMT - twitch.tv/kaltern
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-= Word to the wise: Having a higher forum post does not mean you are right. =-
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 16:01 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 16:16 Post subject: |
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| paxsali wrote: | Don't put too much thought on it.
It is what it is.
You can enjoy this situation for aslong as neither of you issues more (deeper) emotions (demands) than the other is willing to share.
Also, sometimes women want to sort of "beta-test" a relationship with non-boyfriend men from their friend-circle. That happens some time.
Don't over-interpret this or else you may get unnecessarily embarassed.
Always be aware that a young woman who acts like this without clearly stating her interest in you or without waiting impatiently for your initialization... maybe she is just a little immature and doesn't understand how she appears to you.
If you wanna know if that's interest she is showing you, you must investigate these questions:
- Has she kinda acted impatient or something when you didnt reply or get back to her quickly enough?
- Did she put overly large expectations on you, your behavior, your reactions, regarding her?
What about you?
- Do you know you have or had feelings for her?
- Since when do you have feelings for her? Since you saw her or since she kept hanging out with you?
- Can you imagine you and her in a relationship? Do you live far away? Would that relationship work at all?
Did you think about any of these question? |
Yeah I've thought about it for a while and I'm not gonna put too much into it really. As for the questions, on her part, first is no second is probably yes but because we've known each other for a while. And as for my questions, I can't really imagine us in a relationship simply because I've never looked at her in such way and thinking about it makes me feel weird/awkward. And I don't really have feelings towards her it's just that I felt that "chemistry" for a bit after we started talking for a while. I'm quite bad when it comes to taking a hint from a girl I will not notice it/pick up unless she puts up a sign in front of my face So to sum it up, I've never really looked at her as a partner, more as a sister, so I was kinda confused with all the sudden feelings that came up for a few days. Perhaps I simply missed her as a friend and it felt nice talking for a while again, and my brain misinterpreted that into something else. 
@Kaltern Well said
| VGAdeadcafe wrote: | Poor Kawkeye you may be setting yourself up for some serious disappointment here.
| Hfric wrote: | | you just became her gay friend |
lmao  |
I'm not. Because nothing will ever happen, I just don't see her that way.
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 16:57 Post subject: |
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Probably a longing for that close bond you two had. Usually throws us of our feet thinking it is more than that. Bit like when we mix up lust and love.
Don't do rash things and you'll be fine, too much thought isn't good but that doesn't mean you should give it no thought at all. 
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Kaltern
Posts: 5859
Location: Lockerbie, Scotland
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 17:45 Post subject: |
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It's like pizza on a diet. You have a very close, but plutonic relationship, but once you have started that diet, you start longing for the smell... the feel of that pizza against your tongue. You remember the way the cheese oozes and slides around, the toppings giving of intoxicating aromas... you miss the feel of it sliding down the back of your throat... and the guilty but satisfied feeling of fullness when you finish.
Playing Valheim every weekday at 10pm GMT - twitch.tv/kaltern
Follow me on Twitter if you feel like it... @kaltern
My system: Ryzen 7 3700x|Gigabyte RTX 2080 Super Windforce OC|Vengeance 3000Mz 16Gb RAM|2x 500Gb Samsung EVO 970 M.2 SSD |SanDisk SSD PLUS 240 GB + OCZ Vertex 2 60Gb SSD|EVA Supernova 650W PSU|Logitech G27 Wheel|Logitech G19 Gaming Pad|SteelSeries Arctis 7|Logitech G502 Proteus Spectrum Mouse + Logitech MX Master Mouse|Razer Blackwidow Chroma X Keyboard|Oculus Quest 2 + Link|Pixio PX7 Prime 165hz HDR & 1x Samsung 24FG70FQUEN 144Hz curved monitor
-= Word to the wise: Having a higher forum post does not mean you are right. =-
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 18:06 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Tue, 7th Apr 2015 18:13 Post subject: |
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So you want to see her naked and perhaps a bit more.
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Fuku2 Rage
Posts: 262
Location: Brentwood Bay, Vancouver Island
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| Posted: Mon, 13th Apr 2015 20:38 Post subject: |
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| Stormwolf wrote: | | So you want to see her naked and perhaps a bit more. |
Yes, more than naked.
Take... Her... Skin... Off.
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Il_Padrino
Posts: 7565
Location: Greece by the North Sea
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