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 Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 15:35 Post subject: Might get fired |
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So recently I had huge issues sleeping, as in it takes me 3 to 4 hours to fall asleep after lying down(usualy it's an hour at most), which resulted in waking up at 9 bloody AM.
I live like 15 meters from my workplace and all my coworkers, yet noone bothered to come check up on me why I haven't came in.
So I quickly go into overdrive and try to think of some reason why I couldn't come in today... diarrhea! No you retard, you did that already. So I run into kitchen, quickly pour some tap water into a glass and chuck it on the floor, it breaks, good. Now I have to cut myself a bit. No knives, I'm not retarded. Fuck, I'll just irritate a spot on my chest with a fork and put some ketchup on inside of a bandaid and put it on aforementioned spot. Then I quickly undress down to my boxers, set a scene that I'm terminally ill ;towel inside of a bucket with water, digestive tea on the table in one mug, and somehing for flu in the other and scattered pills and every kind of medicine I had on the living floor carpet, as well as induced vomiting with a toothbrush in the kitchen.
Surely enough a couple of hours later during work hours I get knocking at my door. I don't open since I'm playing wasteland 2 and I had to save my game and shut the pc down first. 60 seconds later the knocking turns into bashing and attempts to make a forced entry. Half naked I run up to the door, I open it half naked and there stands my manager, quite a cool, laid back gal around her 40's.
- Hi Les, I came to check up on you since you didn't come in and noone knew what's going on with you, are you alright?
- Yeah I am now. Had a small accident in the morning and I didn't want to come today since I was worried I could pass out again and hurt someone other than me.
So I'm retarded and most likely by tomorrow unemployed  But right now I'm off to the pharmacy to get some Etilaam so at least today I will get a proper sleep
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| Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 16:01 Post subject: |
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you ever heard about "hey boss, unfortunatley i have a personal/family emergency and i'm unable to come to work today" ?. noone will ask for details, being a personal/family issue.
try to keep lying at minimun, you only get into more trouble. especially with family/friends/work.
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 16:44 Post subject: |
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Dude, you seriously aren't right in the head...
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 16:48 Post subject: |
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And we can clearly see what kind of special she meant.
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| Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 16:50 Post subject: |
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So.. You can't sleep and you don't go to the doctor to get at least temporary sleeping pills, and instead think of these utterly stupid ideas. Well, fuck me.
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| Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 16:54 Post subject: |
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| Stormwolf wrote: | | So.. You can't sleep and you don't go to the doctor to get at least temporary sleeping pills, and instead think of these utterly stupid ideas. Well, fuck me. |
Hear that, Sellob? Stormwolf wants the D from you 
1 and 2 are still amazing. |
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51408
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 16:56 Post subject: |
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Legit it seems
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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| Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 17:11 Post subject: |
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| tonizito wrote: | | Legit it seems |
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| Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 18:17 Post subject: |
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Almost GTA V thread material.
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| Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 18:37 Post subject: |
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 19:03 Post subject: |
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Last time something spread for me it was butter so this'll have to do.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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| Posted: Mon, 12th Jan 2015 19:35 Post subject: |
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Sellob threads always deliver.
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Ankh
Posts: 23342
Location: Trelleborg
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HIz
Posts: 2187
Location: Wrong_Timeline
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| Posted: Tue, 13th Jan 2015 01:14 Post subject: Re: Might get fired |
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| Sellob wrote: | So recently I had huge issues sleeping, as in it takes me 3 to 4 hours to fall asleep after lying down(usualy it's an hour at most), which resulted in waking up at 9 bloody AM.
I live like 15 meters from my workplace and all my coworkers, yet noone bothered to come check up on me why I haven't came in.
So I quickly go into overdrive and try to think of some reason why I couldn't come in today... diarrhea! No you retard, you did that already. So I run into kitchen, quickly pour some tap water into a glass and chuck it on the floor, it breaks, good. Now I have to cut myself a bit. No knives, I'm not retarded. Fuck, I'll just irritate a spot on my chest with a fork and put some ketchup on inside of a bandaid and put it on aforementioned spot. Then I quickly undress down to my boxers, set a scene that I'm terminally ill ;towel inside of a bucket with water, digestive tea on the table in one mug, and somehing for flu in the other and scattered pills and every kind of medicine I had on the living floor carpet, as well as induced vomiting with a toothbrush in the kitchen.
Surely enough a couple of hours later during work hours I get knocking at my door. I don't open since I'm playing wasteland 2 and I had to save my game and shut the pc down first. 60 seconds later the knocking turns into bashing and attempts to make a forced entry. Half naked I run up to the door, I open it half naked and there stands my manager, quite a cool, laid back gal around her 40's.
- Hi Les, I came to check up on you since you didn't come in and noone knew what's going on with you, are you alright?
- Yeah I am now. Had a small accident in the morning and I didn't want to come today since I was worried I could pass out again and hurt someone other than me.
So I'm retarded and most likely by tomorrow unemployed But right now I'm off to the pharmacy to get some Etilaam so at least today I will get a proper sleep |
movie material right here, men
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DXWarlock
VIP Member
Posts: 11422
Location: Florida, USA
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| Posted: Tue, 13th Jan 2015 01:26 Post subject: |
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Crap I need an excuse for missing a day of work I know the perfect excuse!
I'll gag myself with a toothbrush so vomit is everywhere, smear ketchup on me, and make it look like i had an all night pill party and tell them:
"Hi I can't come in, I have prolonged periods where I blackout, severely hurt people, and dont remember it..no no, Ill be there tomorrow, its fine I should be over it by then"
A Simple "I've been having an issues getting enough rest for some reason its really not like me, but its draining me. Im going to go to bed early tonight and make it tomorrow, and make a doctors appt to see what the issue is." was too complicated? 
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
Last edited by DXWarlock on Tue, 13th Jan 2015 02:05; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Tue, 13th Jan 2015 01:58 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Tue, 13th Jan 2015 02:45 Post subject: |
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Lame excuses are the best ones. No one will ever know you are lying.
Good luck with your next job.
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Danyutz
Posts: 4418
Location: Redplanet
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| Posted: Tue, 13th Jan 2015 08:09 Post subject: |
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Jesus, I really thought your kind only exists in movies.
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| Posted: Tue, 13th Jan 2015 08:42 Post subject: |
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| DXWarlock wrote: | Crap I need an excuse for missing a day of work I know the perfect excuse!
I'll gag myself with a toothbrush so vomit is everywhere, smear ketchup on me, and make it look like i had an all night pill party and tell them:
"Hi I can't come in, I have prolonged periods where I blackout, severely hurt people, and dont remember it..no no, Ill be there tomorrow, its fine I should be over it by then"
A Simple "I've been having an issues getting enough rest for some reason its really not like me, but its draining me. Im going to go to bed early tonight and make it tomorrow, and make a doctors appt to see what the issue is." was too complicated? |
Probably won't work if they know he's a gamer though.
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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| Posted: Tue, 13th Jan 2015 16:04 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Tue, 13th Jan 2015 17:05 Post subject: |
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lol! Get a grip of yourself lad!
