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nerrd
Posts: 3607
Location: Poland / USA
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 Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 17:04 Post subject: My ex wants to baptize our second child without my consent |
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To make a long story short she wants to baptize our 2 year old son. I'm not giving her the consent, not sure if she even needs one. Her only argument is that since I don't believe in her religion I should let her do it anyways since it's just water over the head for me. While that seems fairly logical to me, I'm at a the point where I'm fed up with her and her parents B.S. My argument is that from what I understand (aside from all of this organised religion shit being complete fucking bullshit) is that baptizim is supposed to wash away the sins that the kid was born with. Also the bible say is that a "sin is a transgression of the law". Yeah, like my 2 year old broke some fucking laws that he wasn't even aware of. This kind of shit just makes me rage so hard. We broke up because I was fighting and yelling with her. But I think It's justifiable when talking to a fucking brick wall.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last edited by nerrd on Thu, 20th Jun 2013 17:17; edited 2 times in total
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 17:07 Post subject: |
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Meh, i'd just let her do it. No reason to waste your time or energy getting upset over some silly mythology. It's not like she's doing something that is harming your son.
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nerrd
Posts: 3607
Location: Poland / USA
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 17:10 Post subject: |
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That would be a logical solution. Yet I'm reluctant to let this go.
There is a small part of me that believes that the way she thinks (religion and everything else) can be changed which would hopefully make my sons and daughters life for the better.
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Morphineus
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Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 17:17 Post subject: |
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My advice, don't take it so seriously. I have been baptized, yet my parents gave me the choice to believe in whatever I wanted. It was just tradition nothing more.
The only thing you should do is: give your child the freedom and critical thinking every human should have. That's enough for him to take his own path.
But that is all my opinion and mine alone. I just don't think this battle is worth any energy. 
However I feel you should address the other issues, without using this case.
Last edited by Morphineus on Thu, 20th Jun 2013 17:53; edited 1 time in total
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DXWarlock
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Location: Florida, USA
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 17:23 Post subject: |
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Let her go for it.
Sure your giving in, but a lot less hassle to let him get a 10 second bath in water they think is magical and be done with it. than her being able to have that as fight material for the rest of your relationship.
I say at least ask her to make it fair game, if you give her the consent to do as she wishes for religion, you should be able to present what you wish for them to follow also when the child's old enough to understand. Think of it this way, make her happy and let her pour water on him, and make yourself happy giving them critical thinking skills later in life to decide if they want to follow up on it.
In the end I think you get the better end of the deal, being dunked in water does nothing for the child but make mommy happy. Teaching him later to decide on his own makes the child happy
-We don't control what happens to us in life, but we control how we respond to what happens in life.
-Hard times create strong men, strong men create good times, good times create weak men, and weak men create hard times. -G. Michael Hopf
Disclaimer: Post made by me are of my own creation. A delusional mind relayed in text form.
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sausje
Banned
Posts: 17716
Location: Limboland, Netherlands
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 17:41 Post subject: |
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Put her face down in the toilet, see how she likes that 
Proud member of Frustrated Association of International Losers Failing Against the Gifted and Superior (F.A.I.L.F.A.G.S)
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Sin317
Banned
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Location: Geneva
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 17:49 Post subject: |
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let her do it.
a) it doesn't make your child magically catholic and
b) the child won't even remember this
c) it's just water.
It's not so much for the kids sake, but for hers. She needs this (as sad as that sounds).
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nerrd
Posts: 3607
Location: Poland / USA
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sausje
Banned
Posts: 17716
Location: Limboland, Netherlands
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 17:51 Post subject: |
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Aw, would had expected you to take the obvious (my) approach 
Proud member of Frustrated Association of International Losers Failing Against the Gifted and Superior (F.A.I.L.F.A.G.S)
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nerrd
Posts: 3607
Location: Poland / USA
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 18:02 Post subject: |
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You married her. You chose her..... You knew what you were getting into. Giving your child a home where parents 'bend' for each other, where parents don't try to control their partners is a huge gift to pass on to your kid.
I'm with the rest. It isn't a big deal. MORPHINEUS & DXWarlock talked about giving your kid the freedom to choose when the are old enough. I believe in that. Nothing wrong with telling your kid you think it's absolute bullshit but it was really important to her.
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 18:13 Post subject: Re: My ex wants to baptize our second child without my conse |
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| nerrd wrote: | To make a long story short she wants to baptize our 2 year old son. I'm not giving her the consent, not sure if she even needs one. Her only argument is that since I don't believe in her religion I should let her do it anyways since it's just water over the head for me. While that seems fairly logical to me, I'm at a the point where I'm fed up with her and her parents B.S. My argument is that from what I understand (aside from all of this organised religion shit being complete fucking bullshit) is that baptizim is supposed to wash away the sins that the kid was born with. Also the bible say is that a "sin is a transgression of the law". Yeah, like my 2 year old broke some fucking laws that he wasn't even aware of. This kind of shit just makes me rage so hard. We broke up because I was fighting and yelling with her. But I think It's justifiable when talking to a fucking brick wall.
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
you my friend dont know shit about religion, i baptized my child and i dont give a crap about religion, its just a wellcome ritual.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptism
| Sin317 wrote: | | while you can't "turn gay", you can cut off your balls. believe me, you'll never think of women again. |
| zmed wrote: | | Or just a defense mechanism. If you fart, you'll most definitely smell it so your brain tells you it ain't bad as strangerfarts. |
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tonizito
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Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 18:17 Post subject: Re: My ex wants to baptize our second child without my conse |
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| speedgear wrote: | you my friend dont know shit about religion, i baptized my child and i dont give a crap about religion, its just a wellcome ritual.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptism |
YEAH!
TAKE TH--
| Quote: | | Catholics believe that baptism is necessary for the cleansing of the taint of original sin |
--oh
The tricky part here is that she's your ex-wife, so she might not need your consent to it.
IMO I'd be opposed to it too, it should be the kid's choice, he can always be baptised later in life.
However I can also see the other side, since it is really not that much big of a deal.
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
Last edited by tonizito on Thu, 20th Jun 2013 18:22; edited 1 time in total |
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Werelds
Special Little Man
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Location: 0100111001001100
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 18:23 Post subject: |
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| tonizito wrote: | | speedgear wrote: | you my friend dont know shit about religion, i baptized my child and i dont give a crap about religion, its just a wellcome ritual.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptism |
YEAH!
TAKE TH--
| Quote: | | Catholics believe that baptism is necessary for the cleansing of the taint of original sin |
--oh |
Most people here that still do it, do it because it's tradition, not because of fucking religion
I know that I wasn't baptised for religional reasons at least  |
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tonizito
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 18:24 Post subject: |
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| Werelds wrote: | | I know that I wasn't baptised for religional reasons at least |
That's because it might have been for religious reasons 
Point still stands, and besides we don't have enough information to know if the family is heavy on the derp jesus side anyway.
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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zmed
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Location: Orbanistan
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nerrd
Posts: 3607
Location: Poland / USA
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 18:31 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | | You married her. You chose her..... You knew what you were getting into. |
That sounds like something coming from a person that is either very young or naive. You do realize that people do change over time, do you? Just because she was acting one way before and after our marriage doesn't mean that shes the same person now. And to make this more clear, in my mind, she was never a religious person. She doesn't go to to church, we never talk about religion etc. Maybe I should have read the "dummies guide to dating" when we were teens. I'm sure they have all the important things outlined there, like talking about her future religious plans, and making sure she signs contracts in case she decided to changes her mind. 
| pistolshrimp wrote: | | Giving your child a home where parents 'bend' for each other, where parents don't try to control their partners is a huge gift to pass on to your kid. |
That is absolutely correct and I do agree  . However I feel like for most of our relationship I bent a little too much for her. However in this case which involves unreasonable rituals based not even on her personal beliefs, but simply on something that has been passed on and inbred into her, I feel like I should stop being a bystander and put my foot down, and do that FOR the good of the children. Don't tell me that ignoring stupidity when its most blatant is the right course of action.
edit: Her family is not super religious. Not ever did we have a conversations about anything close to the topic. Her mother goes to church every week, not her dad. He's too lazy to go to the store to get himself some beer.
edit2: My kids will be fine either way, I know that. My five year old is very intelligent, I thought her to write basic stuff before she was two. I can see the way she interacts with me and the way she thinks. At five she can read fluently. My son, well, he is almost two and hes a "blessing" =). I just want them to be free from the negative influences of people that don't seem to be able to think freely.
Either way, I appreciate all the kind remarks. This has helped me vent, and I realize better then before that I should let this go.
Last edited by nerrd on Thu, 20th Jun 2013 18:43; edited 1 time in total
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garus
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 18:41 Post subject: |
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snip
Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:57; edited 1 time in total
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nerrd
Posts: 3607
Location: Poland / USA
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garus
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 19:08 Post subject: |
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snip
Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:57; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 20:58 Post subject: |
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| nerrd wrote: | | pistolshrimp wrote: | | You married her. You chose her..... You knew what you were getting into. |
That sounds like something coming from a person that is either very young or naive. You do realize that people do change over time, do you? Just because she was acting one way before and after our marriage doesn't mean that shes the same person now. And to make this more clear, in my mind, she was never a religious person. She doesn't go to to church, we never talk about religion etc. Maybe I should have read the "dummies guide to dating" when we were teens. I'm sure they have all the important things outlined there, like talking about her future religious plans, and making sure she signs contracts in case she decided to changes her mind.
| pistolshrimp wrote: | | Giving your child a home where parents 'bend' for each other, where parents don't try to control their partners is a huge gift to pass on to your kid. |
That is absolutely correct and I do agree . However I feel like for most of our relationship I bent a little too much for her. However in this case which involves unreasonable rituals based not even on her personal beliefs, but simply on something that has been passed on and inbred into her, I feel like I should stop being a bystander and put my foot down, and do that FOR the good of the children. Don't tell me that ignoring stupidity when its most blatant is the right course of action.
edit: Her family is not super religious. Not ever did we have a conversations about anything close to the topic. Her mother goes to church every week, not her dad. He's too lazy to go to the store to get himself some beer.
edit2: My kids will be fine either way, I know that. My five year old is very intelligent, I thought her to write basic stuff before she was two. I can see the way she interacts with me and the way she thinks. At five she can read fluently. My son, well, he is almost two and hes a "blessing" =). I just want them to be free from the negative influences of people that don't seem to be able to think freely.
Either way, I appreciate all the kind remarks. This has helped me vent, and I realize better then before that I should let this go. |
Young and Naive I wish I was.. The fact is you have what you have now and everything else about her is not in your control. You have to pick and choose your battles wisely and this probably isn't something you want to put your foot down again. Baptism....means nothing. There will be plenty of battles that mean much more in the furture....as to who she leaves his care too when she isn't around to the new men she chooses to have in her life. ......And everything that goes along with that.
Heres me wishing you all the best. It's a hard hard road.
Didn't read the part where you split. My bad.
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 21:11 Post subject: |
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if it means giving money to a church, then FUCK NO
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Morphineus
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 21:18 Post subject: |
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| PickupArtist wrote: | | if it means giving money to a church, then FUCK NO |
Now now don't be deluded, plenty of churches do good things. So a handful of cash isn't something to worry about  |
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DXWarlock
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Mythril
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Location: Playing Hunt: Showdown
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| Posted: Thu, 20th Jun 2013 21:37 Post subject: |
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Personally if I ever have kids (and I'm not planning any) I'd let them make their own minds up when they are old enough. But I'm with the OP. Religion is total BS !
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| Posted: Fri, 21st Jun 2013 01:00 Post subject: |
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I was also baptized, yet noone of my family is even religious. It was just something that was done.
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