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 Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 20:43 Post subject: kinda understand now - men vs women in relationships etc etc |
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So I was on a date last night, we really hit it off right away, went to a cafe ans had some coffe and cake and then to a cozy bar for some wine. We spoke almost the entire night, flirting, the way she smiled at me it made my heart melt and she was a really nice person. A heart of gold and so levelheaded. Almost love at first sight.
I kissed her at the bar and we continued kissing a few times. We met at 20.30 and the date ended at around 01:30 when I walked her home. We kissed and I hugged her and said id get in touch with her again.
So today at noon I sent her a text message but I still havent heard anything from her. In my text i basically thanked for the date and asked her how she slept.
Right now im a nervous wreck, I wont call or text her until tomorrow night which I said I would in my text but Im kinda woundering why she hasnt even replied yet. I mean would it be so much to say something back, even if you're busy and wanna spend the day with friends?
Why must dating be so complicated? I really dont understand how some people think. And to me its a bad sign when you contact someone but dont get a reply. So Im feeling bummed right now, especially considering how the date went like i mentioned.
What to do... 
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
Last edited by Acer on Thu, 29th Nov 2012 18:59; edited 1 time in total
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13519
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| Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 20:44 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:30; edited 2 times in total
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b0se
Banned
Posts: 5901
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 20:54 Post subject: |
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Wait a few days, if she doesn't reply, call her, if she doesn't answer, forget about / (stalk) her.
[spoiler][quote="SteamDRM"]i've bought mohw :derp: / FPS of the year! [/quote]
[quote="SteamDRM"][quote="b0se"]BLACK OPS GOTY[/quote]
No.[/quote][/spoiler]
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 20:58 Post subject: |
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As Nalo said, wait a while. And in any way, do not suffocate her. If she still doesn't reply for a few days, just send her a message asking if she'd like to join you for another date. If you're afraid of that, you could always invite her for a walk, talk some more, if she still appears to be enjoying herself during that date (in the event she replies) and doesn't answer again afterwards, she either just wants some fun and if you play your cards right, you will have a friend with benefits sans the friend part (basically a booty call) or likes to torture you by wanting to see just how easy you give up. Women have these techniques where they want to see just how much a guy can endure, and it is not pretty, I chased a girl for some months before and when it became clear she was only sweet when we met (kissing, going out in clubs or bars, hooking up, etc) and I gave up, after which she turned into a psycho stalker, after some months meeting with my current gf and saying silly things and so on. But I digress.
Tl;dr: be patient, women have curious ways to keep a guy interested (tortured).
Source: I'm a love doctor.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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| Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 21:11 Post subject: |
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treat them mean keep them keen...
she is playing you right now making you sweat she already knew early on how much you liked her it seems from what you wrote, so she damn well knows she has the controlling card right now.. dont go mad over it move on wait for her to call, if she is interested she will right?
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b0se
Banned
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Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 21:19 Post subject: |
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What if we are talking about vanity ?
[spoiler][quote="SteamDRM"]i've bought mohw :derp: / FPS of the year! [/quote]
[quote="SteamDRM"][quote="b0se"]BLACK OPS GOTY[/quote]
No.[/quote][/spoiler]
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| Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 21:23 Post subject: |
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Try to stop obsessing about her and go on and enjoy a happy life. The smell of desperation is a turn off.
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| Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 21:25 Post subject: |
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all good points, however I dont think shes that kind of person. She just seems so down to earth, not complicated at all. The way she spoke, the way she dressed last night. I can see those signs in a person, im in no way an expert but I am good at reading people.
Im hoping she just wants to take it easy and not rush into things which is true for most swedish girls I've been with. They're not as emotional as girls from the continent, US, middle east etc
And in a way thats the problem for me. I can understand needy and obsessive but I have a hard time with people who are kinda cool, levelheaded and just calm and who dont rush into relationships etc
To me its just rude, no matter what her motive is though...
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
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| Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 21:33 Post subject: |
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Dude you just tried to say u understood her and made an assured judgement of a women.... understanding a women? never.... big mistake.
jk  , Think of it this way, if she read it and didnt answer, fuck it, keep ur life going (prolly not a nice person if she did this) or maybe she was too busy, anyways she knows of it and she has already decided. let it roll
If she hasnt read it, well.... fuck, nothing we can do there? wait
about texting again or calling etc, theres a very thin line between being super nice to being awfully desperate. I would just say, its her turn to answer, further into the relationship if it keeps going maybe then u can decide when to keep texting and how often.
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| Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 21:36 Post subject: |
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| Acer wrote: | all good points, however I dont think shes that kind of person. She just seems so down to earth, not complicated at all. The way she spoke, the way she dressed last night. I can see those signs in a person, im in no way an expert but I am good at reading people.
Im hoping she just wants to take it easy and not rush into things which is true for most swedish girls I've been with. They're not as emotional as girls from the continent, US, middle east etc
And in a way thats the problem for me. I can understand needy and obsessive but I have a hard time with people who are kinda cool, levelheaded and just calm and who dont rush into relationships etc
To me its just rude, no matter what her motive is though... |
Not to be rude but if you understand the needy and obsessive you probably have some of that in you yourself. Maybe try learning to relax a bit and let shit go a bit.
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| Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 21:41 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | | Acer wrote: | all good points, however I dont think shes that kind of person. She just seems so down to earth, not complicated at all. The way she spoke, the way she dressed last night. I can see those signs in a person, im in no way an expert but I am good at reading people.
Im hoping she just wants to take it easy and not rush into things which is true for most swedish girls I've been with. They're not as emotional as girls from the continent, US, middle east etc
And in a way thats the problem for me. I can understand needy and obsessive but I have a hard time with people who are kinda cool, levelheaded and just calm and who dont rush into relationships etc
To me its just rude, no matter what her motive is though... |
Not to be rude but if you understand the needy and obsessive you probably have some of that in you yourself. Maybe try learning to relax a bit and let shit go a bit. |
Dont worry its not rude, I appreciate you guys are so frank. Yeah I can be needy and obsessive. I dont know am I just thinking about this too much? I wrote in my text that I was gonna call her tomorrow night so I'll just wait til then and call her.
In my opinion when you meet someone with whom you really klick, when you kiss someone you just met and talk about deep emotional stuff that means something, and it means I would like to see that person more and kinda have regulear contact with her...
Maybe its me though...
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
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VonMisk
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Morphineus
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Posts: 24883
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| Posted: Sat, 24th Nov 2012 23:42 Post subject: |
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You are too needy atm, she'll lose interest fast if she sees this side of you. And like most she's prolly testing you right now.
So you shouldn't think in terms of next day or next evening. It was better if you thought about a few days.
Your initial text kinda blew it a bit tho, would have been safer to just say you had a nice time and if she feels like it to go out sometime again. So that she takes the initiative next time.
Then you could have waited a few days, send some text to see how she was doing, if she still doesn't reply then you could either move on or try a last time a week later or so.
And to ease your mind atm: just think she has stuff to do or maybe she wants to talk to a friend first before going further. Not for the friend to decide things, they need to talk for emotional process. It's the way they work. Doesn't help that guys always try to solve stuff when all they just want to do is talk xD
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 05:50 Post subject: |
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| pistolshrimp wrote: | | Try to stop obsessing about her and go on and enjoy a happy life. The smell of desperation is a turn off. |
Pretty much the best advice you can get, and from a girl nonetheless.
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 07:31 Post subject: |
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Wait.... Ohhhhh.... FireMaster, note taken. But yeah many times ive blown it for being too.... pushy? trying to share, trying to talk etc, and it didnt work those times, live and learn now i just go with the flow. but when you see an OBVIOUS tip of interest (wont probably happen in the first weeks) take it and start moving towards what they want, to know more about you and share, but in the start, ive never really understood women, it varies from one to another.
Also lets not try to "dictate a process" since we are human beings, we are all different and different personal cultures, but one thing is very... generally true, you call, they dont call back, dont call again, you texted, no answer, dont text again, you invited, they never replied, dont push further. etc etc. Sometimes it by itself is the answer, not mattering what you may have understood before.
Oh dating, im so rusty. Wonder how the world works now lol
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 09:06 Post subject: |
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I love to see when other ppl have the same issues when it comes to dating. I remember when I started dating, and when a situation like yours happened I was out of my mind
Like a 1000 questions coming to my mind
Relax, and wait a bit  If after a few days you don't hear from her, well, then I wouldn't have high hopes :\
And you try to move on. Sure it will suck for a week or two, but in that period get yourself some chocolate, and try to distract yourself by doing sth - playing games, watching stand-up comedy (works for me ), going out with friends...
But for now you just gotta have to wait it out. If you start texting her like crazy, as Pistol said, you'd come off as a desperate and needy person... And that's a no no
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 09:32 Post subject: |
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I tell ya, desperation has a smell...
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 10:02 Post subject: |
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Yeah desperation reeks and is a real turn off especially for women. I would agree with all of you, if the date hadnt gone the way I described it I wouldnt have obsessed the way im doing, but it was the feeling, the kiss everything just felt like this girl is very special.
Im feeling abit better today, will call her tonight like i said in my text message and see what happens.
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
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garus
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 13:30 Post subject: |
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snip
Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:56; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 14:12 Post subject: |
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it freaked me abit because i usually find most girls I date to be kinda dull and I feel empty inside. With a few exceptions which I've written on this forum in the past. Those who've read my previous women problems know that I am abit neurotic and insecure when it comes to women.
But the date on friday surprised me because I felt something for the first time in a very long time. And it was such a potent emotion which I kinda had a hard time to control after the date. Even during I felt that I hope the night never ends, I even tested her to see if she wanted to end it sooner but she wanted to have one more drink.
I didnt think I would get like this again, all insecure and a nervous wreck. Trying to control myself and my impulses is the hardest part. How do you know what to do when every fiber of your body tells you to do a certain thing.
But I hope and think im really blowing everything way out of proportion and the call tonight will go smoothly. Wish me luck...
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
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garus
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 14:30 Post subject: |
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snip
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Aeon
Posts: 8700
Location: Netherlands
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garus
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 15:59 Post subject: |
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snip
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Aeon
Posts: 8700
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 16:12 Post subject: |
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Yeah, guess so..
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garus
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 16:15 Post subject: |
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snip
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Aeon
Posts: 8700
Location: Netherlands
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 16:17 Post subject: |
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Well, it's true though...I don't think I'm that kind of person that will try to break them apart. If she's happy with him then yeah... Or am I thinking wrong?
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garus
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| Posted: Sun, 25th Nov 2012 16:22 Post subject: |
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snip
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Frant
King's Bounty
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