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zmed
Posts: 9234
Location: Orbanistan
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 Posted: Wed, 11th Jan 2012 11:09 Post subject: Why did hell freeze over? |
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Extra question: is hell exothermic (releases heat), or endothermic (takes on heat)?
Most people take Boyle's law, that say expanding gases cool down, while under pressure they heat up.
However, one student proposed the following:
First, we have to establish whether hell's mass increases over time. For that, we have to know the amount of souls entering and leaving hell.
It is safe to say, that once you're in there, you'll never get out.
To determine the number of souls entering, we have to consider the various world religions. Most faiths today say that everyone will go to hell unless they follow their version of dogma. Since there are a number of these doctrines, we have to assume that everyone goes to hell.
Due to the ever increasing number of people in the population, we can assume that the number of souls in hell also increase exponentially.
After that, we have to determine the volume of hell. According to Boyle's Law, the volume of hell should also expand in relation to the damned souls that go there, in order for the temperature and pressure to remain constant. This leaves two possibilities:
1. If hell expands slower compared to the souls entering it, temperature and pressure will build up to the point that it results in an explosive event.
2. If hell expands faster compared to the souls entering it, temperature and pressure will decrease to the point of freezing, thus hell freezing over.
Which one is the correct answer?
Regarding my classmate, Sandra's conjecture, that "hell would freeze over sooner than I would have sex with you", and yet we had sex last night regardless, it is evident that the second hypothesis is correct. For these reasons, I am certain that hell is endothermic and already froze over.
Furthermore, since hell froze over, it is evident that no more souls will go there since there is no more fire for souls to be tormented in.
This evidence also means that we will all go to heaven, which on the one hand proves god's existence, on the other hand explains why Sandra cried "OH GOD" so many times last night.
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doobzilla
Posts: 1099
Location: Team America's Mount Rushmore Base. Stolen from Indians.
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| Posted: Wed, 11th Jan 2012 14:26 Post subject: |
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In order for this to be true, one must assume a few things:
1. That souls have mass.
2. That all religions are correct.
3. That Sandra is, in fact, real.
4. That she, assuming that number three is true, was exclaiming, "OH GOD," out of pleasure and not out of fear or regret.
And, if those above assumptions are incorrect, then might I ask these questions:
1. If souls have no mass (are pure energy), then how do they interact with, "Hell?"
2. If all religions are correct and we are all going to hell, why would heaven exist? Because the whole concept of Heaven/Hell is meant as a showing of nature's balance as much as it is about good/evil. This is how religions were able to be understood by peoples of the past and why they were able to take root and remain for so long. Well, that and all of the power and wealth that people stole based on them, but that is for another conversation at another time.
3. If Sandra isn't real, how could she talk?
4. If she isn't real, why posit this in the first place? If you want attention, just go and cut yourself like the rest of your generation does.
I will close with this paraphrased quote from a comedian (I can't remember which one exactly):
I really hope that all of the world's religions are right and that Hell does exist. I've told a lot of people to go there and, if it didn't exist, I'd be pretty pissed off that those people weren't there, suffering.
edit: In answer to your extra question, I must say this:
Hell is actually neither endo, nor exothermic. Since it exists in another plane of existence, we can assume that the laws of physics in our universe likely won't apply. And, that being the case, it would quite possibly have a stranger definition. Perhaps it is both?
Hobo Zombie: TRAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS
Woman Zombie: COMPLAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Englishmen Zombie: REFRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Thanks for the idea Lutz!
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