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 Posted: Fri, 11th Nov 2011 23:16 Post subject: Got my very first hemorrhoid, W-T-F IS THIS THING?! |
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It's like a pinkie finger sticking out of my anus.. wth..
IT HURTS LIKE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Seriously tempted to take a needle and puncture the damn thing, then just shove some "drying up" chemical stuff up the butt alongside some xylocaine and lidocaine ointment...
Seriously... wtf.. I know my parents always complained about them, now I got my first one, wtf, I know it was stupid to eat habaneros on my taco, but damn, didn't think my butt would blow out because of it! 
Seriously, it's like a pinkie finger sticking out of the anus! WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
I like pinkie fingers inside the butt, not outside.. 
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TSR69
Banned
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Location: Republic of the Seven United Provinces
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| Posted: Fri, 11th Nov 2011 23:21 Post subject: |
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Seriously, why not go to your doctor or so? And on the part of pinkie fingers inside perhaps see a therapist.
Formerly known as iconized
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Nalo
nothing
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| Posted: Fri, 11th Nov 2011 23:22 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 06:43; edited 2 times in total
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Frant
King's Bounty
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M4trix
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TSR69
Banned
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Location: Republic of the Seven United Provinces
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| Posted: Fri, 11th Nov 2011 23:51 Post subject: |
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Yeah well if you have some stuff going on down there, it might look like you are anally obsessed, but in fact you are obsessed with the health of your anus.
Formerly known as iconized
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Werelds
Special Little Man
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| Posted: Sat, 12th Nov 2011 00:19 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Sat, 12th Nov 2011 00:21 Post subject: |
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Yeh, I kinda thought my 45 minute jogging each day would spare me from the pains that my parents talked about.. but.. alas no..
Fuck, yeh, going to the doctor ASAP, the fucker started bleeding by itself, my butt blew up basically.. 
It's a external hemmorijdal thingy majigg..
Seriously, it's fucking scary when your butt starts doing things, it's not supposed to do!
But(t), it is funnie how it is stated that hard poop is the main cause, noone in my family has ever had constipation, but almost everyone has had hemmos... I myself, have always have nice soft poops, so, there goes that theory..
but daaaaaang, my but iZ bleeding, Skyrim is on the ps3, would be my luck if it's anal friggin' CANCER.
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| Posted: Sat, 12th Nov 2011 00:50 Post subject: |
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Extended toilet time I was told. Exerted pressure. Pregnancy...
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| Posted: Sat, 12th Nov 2011 11:48 Post subject: |
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Pictures or it didn't happen!
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2011 11:26 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2011 14:47 Post subject: |
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only had hemorrhoids once. when i didnt took a shit for like 3-4 days and kept it in me.
then when i finally shit myself ..i did with so much passion and force and that little fucker grew.
after 2 weeks and some cream..it disappeared. 
>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> ♪ Viva La Vida ♪ <<<<<< <<<<< <<<<<< <<<
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TSR69
Banned
Posts: 14962
Location: Republic of the Seven United Provinces
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2011 00:19 Post subject: |
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I thought that creams and stuff don't work and the only real treatment is to get that banding thing or surgery? Not that I have read that much on the subject. After having a doctors finger inserted where the sun don't shine I apparently don't have hemorrhoids, or the docs words were to the effect that I have nothing to worry about.
Ryzen 5 5600, ASUS ROG STRIX B550-F GAMING WIFI II, Corsair Vengeance RGB RT 32GB 3600MHz C16, MSI RTX 5070 Ti Ventus 3X OC , Corsair RMx Series RM750x. AOC AGON AG324UX - 4K 144Hz 1ms
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2011 00:37 Post subject: |
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Yeah it looked really painful when Kyle had one in south park, he never cried so much like in that episode.. "I need my hemorrhoid cream" whaaa
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TSR69
Banned
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Location: Republic of the Seven United Provinces
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2011 14:42 Post subject: |
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Aah, learned something today at the Doc..
It wasn't a hemmorhoid, but a Tromboid, the difference is, hemmo's are your glands peeking out, or, they are big on the inside, but if external, they are sorta peeking out, a Tromboid, is more kinda like a bump under the skin, it's a vein that has slid out and left a bleeding that can swell to large size.
Hemmo's are totally not dangerous, Tromboids can be very dangerous.. 
Luckily, mine is small (like a green pea now) bled out, and wont require anything more but drying ointments.
So, a dangling thingy that can slide in and out, that's a hemmorhoid, a lump under the skin, is not, and should always get looked at.
They showed me a picture of someone that had a grapesized thing covering the entire asscheek on the inside from the anus outwards... basically a big bleeding under the skin..
If they get that big and burst, you can get a second poop channel, since the body wont be able to heal it, like a ear piercing to inside your ANUSSSSSS!
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2011 14:59 Post subject: |
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most dissgusting and disturbing thread of the year!
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
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TSR69
Banned
Posts: 14962
Location: Republic of the Seven United Provinces
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2011 15:06 Post subject: |
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Nope it is not, many people have this burden, so why would it be disgusting to speak about it?
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2011 15:55 Post subject: |
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I've seen some weird SHIT but hemorrhoids...? Unhealthy diet probably? Anyway best to have the doctor stick his head between your buttocks and have the pinkie finger inspected
| Lopin18 wrote: | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired.  |
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2011 16:23 Post subject: |
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yes keep off those stupid fucking energy drinks as well, if you are the kind of person to have those daily cause "but I like them" kind of attitude then more fool you! you're shit will turn black and have a texture like fucking raisins covered in multiple razor blades.. good luck shitting it out when its bad and hello to new hemo
warned the misses about her lazy food eating and not drinking plain water, or even a cup of tea etc etc, all she drunk was fizzy and energy drinks lol's so funny when she was pooping all I could hear was screams of agony ... and like a smoker that says "oh ill quit right now!" or a "omfg im not drinking alco's no more" type of person she is right back on the energy shit and fizzy..
I can not wait for return of the hemo so I can just kick her arse down the hallway at home for amusement swearing I forgot she was dangling lol.
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Rofl_Mao
Posts: 3187
Location: Nederland
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2011 19:01 Post subject: |
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| Acer wrote: | | iconized wrote: | | Nope it is not, many people have this burden, so why would it be disgusting to speak about it? |
All people take a dump, would you consider that not disgusting aswell cause everyones doing it?
Im not saying its not ok to talk about, in my opinion its a disgusting and disturbing subject. No man, except a few fabulous ones, should have to endure pain in the rectum other than while excreeting |
50% of Western people seem to develop hemorrhoids. Hasn't happened to me though despit my Turdosaurus dumps
| Lopin18 wrote: | | I think you played too much Fallout 3, Pedo Perk acquired. |
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2011 19:31 Post subject: |
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| Rofl_Mao wrote: | | Acer wrote: | | iconized wrote: | | Nope it is not, many people have this burden, so why would it be disgusting to speak about it? |
All people take a dump, would you consider that not disgusting aswell cause everyones doing it?
Im not saying its not ok to talk about, in my opinion its a disgusting and disturbing subject. No man, except a few fabulous ones, should have to endure pain in the rectum other than while excreeting |
50% of Western people seem to develop hemorrhoids. Hasn't happened to me though despit my Turdosaurus dumps |
You do know that you have just jinxed yourself? xD
Enjoy your hemorrhoids
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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Ye old poop shoot!
