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 Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 10:46 Post subject: damn girls... |
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Just got back from my graduation party. I was planning to tell a girl in my class how I feel about her, but instead i ended up with another girl in the hottub (damn alcohol). I used to be in love with this other girl and we even dated for a short while, but we broke up mainly because im lousy with people. Socialising isnt my best trait. Now she suggested we try again. Im not sure what i want now. I might like girl A mostly for her looks.
i5-3570k @4.4gHz, MSI GTX 970 GAMING 4g OC'd, MSI z77a-g45, Corsair Vengeance 8gb 1600mHz, Corsair TX650 PSU, Crucial M4 128gb, WD 1.5 TB HDD, Seagate 1TB HDD, LG 27MB85R-B 1440p
RSI name: ctulu
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 10:52 Post subject: Re: damn girls... |
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| kazemaky wrote: | | Just got back from my graduation party. I was planning to tell a girl in my class how I feel about her, but instead i ended up with another girl in the hottub (damn alcohol). I used to be in love with this other girl and we even dated for a short while, but we broke up mainly because im lousy with people. Socialising isnt my best trait. Now she suggested we try again. Im not sure what i want now. I might like girl A mostly for her looks. |
FHITB.
But seriously, I had quite a few women in my life (no, not THAT many), and I found, for me, an intellectual girl, who has a 7.5-8/10 body works out better, than a 10/10 body, but 4/10 brain. Sex is loads fucking better with smart people.
I once had a fucking superb looking gal, but I was ashamed of taking her out to see my friends. It didn't last long.
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 10:54 Post subject: |
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neither of the girls is that intellectual tbh, but u could say girl B has a better personality.
i5-3570k @4.4gHz, MSI GTX 970 GAMING 4g OC'd, MSI z77a-g45, Corsair Vengeance 8gb 1600mHz, Corsair TX650 PSU, Crucial M4 128gb, WD 1.5 TB HDD, Seagate 1TB HDD, LG 27MB85R-B 1440p
RSI name: ctulu
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 11:08 Post subject: |
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| kazemaky wrote: | | neither of the girls is that intellectual tbh, but u could say girl B has a better personality. |
Ah, you mean girl A is an insufferable bitch? 
Anyway, with proper attitude, you can learn to ... manipulate any personality. I used to love teasing bitchy girls, the secret to their "garden" is making sure you visibly express your complete lack of interest in her, and anything relating to her. This usually leads them to want to prove their "might" to you. Won't work on the long term, unless you're a masochist though, as needy bitches are not suitable for relationships.
Sry, got carried away
Anyway, if you want something with longevity, chose the one you get along with better, which, if I see right, is B. The main reason, I think I'm with my current GF for 2+ years, and thinking of marrying, is because our personalities fit, as well as our interests. Sounds cliché, but I found it to be true.
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fisk
Posts: 9145
Location: Von Oben
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 11:25 Post subject: Re: damn girls... |
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| kazemaky wrote: | | Just got back from my graduation party. I was planning to tell a girl in my class how I feel about her, but instead i ended up with another girl in the hottub (damn alcohol). I used to be in love with this other girl and we even dated for a short while, but we broke up mainly because im lousy with people. Socialising isnt my best trait. Now she suggested we try again. Im not sure what i want now. I might like girl A mostly for her looks. |
There are so many things messed up with this, clues are in the bolded parts. In my opinion it's not the social skills that are the problem, it's the emotional maturity/lack of character. By that I mean that:
a) You lack the character to take responsibility for your actions (you do not just 'end up' with someone, regardless of alcohol.
b) Your definition of 'in love' tells me you don't know what it is. You wouldn't have made the choice to be with that girl in the bathtub if you were (also, see lack of character).
c) You explain this away with lacking social skills. No, social skills have nothing to do with being honest with yourself and others, actively making choices and standing by them. You're essentially lying to yourself here. This naïvety shows you're not really emotionally mature.
My advice: Don't lie to yourself. If all you want out of relationships is a pretty face, and something to fuck. Then by all means do so. Just don't make shit up to make it even less rational, it'll just screw with your head. In my opinion you need some time to reflect over what your principles are (if you have/want any) and just TRY to look at things more objectively. Ask yourself why you're doing what you're doing, what your actions might lead to, and whether you accept this or not. This kind of reflection will probably protect you from a lot of unneeded heat. I'm not telling you to be moral, I don't think you care all that much for that. All I need you to do is to look yourself in the mirror before making life-changing calls and asking yourself:
a) Is it legal?
b) Is it reasonable? (ie. does it benefit you both in the short and the long run?)
c) Can I look myself in the mirror again if I do this?
Don't just skim through these questions, really reflect upon them. If you answer either of them with a no, you should probably consider the choice even more. If it's 'yes' all the way, you can always trust that your decisions were thought through, if (or rather) when they get messed up... because even the wisest do not see all ends.
Yes, yes I'm back.
Somewhat.
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 11:52 Post subject: |
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thx for the input
i5-3570k @4.4gHz, MSI GTX 970 GAMING 4g OC'd, MSI z77a-g45, Corsair Vengeance 8gb 1600mHz, Corsair TX650 PSU, Crucial M4 128gb, WD 1.5 TB HDD, Seagate 1TB HDD, LG 27MB85R-B 1440p
RSI name: ctulu
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 12:58 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 12:59 Post subject: |
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That was actually a very good post, well said.
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 13:04 Post subject: |
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Come on, Fisk, don't be so strict, sometimes, things just happen - part of human spontaneity. So what if they wound up in a bathtub? Who did it exactly hurt? Now, I'm all for rationality, but you shouldn't expect a 17-18 year old to not fool around a bit, it's part of the learning process.
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 13:12 Post subject: |
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my post was a bit simplified regarding my situation, but u are most likely right, fisk.
Also, im a bit of a coward.
Love was the wrong word in my post. Ive become used to love being used more lightly in english than in estonian. correct term would be "like".
i5-3570k @4.4gHz, MSI GTX 970 GAMING 4g OC'd, MSI z77a-g45, Corsair Vengeance 8gb 1600mHz, Corsair TX650 PSU, Crucial M4 128gb, WD 1.5 TB HDD, Seagate 1TB HDD, LG 27MB85R-B 1440p
RSI name: ctulu
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 14:45 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 14:51 Post subject: |
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19
i5-3570k @4.4gHz, MSI GTX 970 GAMING 4g OC'd, MSI z77a-g45, Corsair Vengeance 8gb 1600mHz, Corsair TX650 PSU, Crucial M4 128gb, WD 1.5 TB HDD, Seagate 1TB HDD, LG 27MB85R-B 1440p
RSI name: ctulu
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 15:05 Post subject: |
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That explains it 
Well, I'm a very different person - as I was a virgin until I was 27. I'm 34 now, by the way.
I've never been able to "play" the game so common between men and women, and I've never been capable of looking at a woman as something I could just fuck and throw aside. I've had my share of experience since then, though, and I'm fortunate enough to be reasonably good looking and haven't wanted for attention. I think that has helped me deal with my lack of experience in the past.
So, it really depends on what you want.
If you want to fuck a lot of hot girls, which is only natural, my best advice is to pursue that - and experience what it does for you. Personally, I'm about as honest as you can be as a human being - and I've always chosen that route myself when dealing with people. I know some guys have a different style, but I've found that being honest and fair can get you just as much sex as you can handle, if that's what you want.
I think it's very possible to fuck your brains out AND be honest, as long as you look in the right places.
If you want a serious relationship, my advice is to act responsibly - and be patient. The right girl is hard to find, and whatever you do between now and the moment of finding her - will be part of you as a person. In that case, I think having a natural respect for the women you date will help tremendously in your future relationship.
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Mantis2K9
Posts: 676
Location: London,England
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 16:14 Post subject: |
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I respect women as much as I respect other men, if they earn it I give it if they screw me over or act like a prat, I dont repsect them.
It is irrelevant of what bits they got, people are people.
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 16:19 Post subject: |
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Did someone say women deserve more respect than men? We're talking about male-female interaction, and I assume the OP is not a homosexual based on his posts.
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 16:32 Post subject: |
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HAh, just live together with a hot no brainer. I was together with that girl for 2 years+ before we moved in together. In my case it lasted 3 months and then I just spend 14h at my job and went to some friends for dinner and went home for a fuck and sleep.
If you want to have a good time, just be together with the hot fun girl. Just realise that if you ever want to buildup something meaningful, you will need more than agreeing the new shoes she bought are pretty and she 'should wear them this night wink wink'. Just warning you in advance.
And I really loved that girl for. She was pretty, she was fun to be around, could have a good time, she was happy with me. But once I had a bad week at work or I was having some stress career-wise (which happens very rarely to start with), no support at all. When I took her to social gatherings where there were other people than braindead 'jersey shore' types, she was clingy as hell. And then you realise what you basically already knew from the beginning 'If this is going to be the rest of my life, i will kill myself. I am no fucking babysit for my braindead fuckdolly' (gotta love the respect in that sentence...) I guess she would ve been perfect as a mistress. Fun for 1 day, but then i need a break of 1 week 
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| Posted: Mon, 20th Jun 2011 21:06 Post subject: |
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I could never be together with a hot no brainer for longer than 2-3 weeks, ever. The relationships usually ended, when my mates meet her for the first time. Now, my mates are cynical bastards, who like to tease, and like subtle humor - the hot no brainer girls had this: huh? what is going on right now? kind of expression. I just can't be with dumb people. They also act weird in bed, if you ask me. I'm not the sentimental type, but I like to have a deeper emotional connection with people I sleep with - you can't have that with stupid people.
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jun 2011 08:43 Post subject: Re: damn girls... |
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| fisk wrote: | | kazemaky wrote: | | Just got back from my graduation party. I was planning to tell a girl in my class how I feel about her, but instead i ended up with another girl in the hottub (damn alcohol). I used to be in love with this other girl and we even dated for a short while, but we broke up mainly because im lousy with people. Socialising isnt my best trait. Now she suggested we try again. Im not sure what i want now. I might like girl A mostly for her looks. |
There are so many things messed up with this, clues are in the bolded parts. In my opinion it's not the social skills that are the problem, it's the emotional maturity/lack of character. By that I mean that:
a) You lack the character to take responsibility for your actions (you do not just 'end up' with someone, regardless of alcohol.
b) Your definition of 'in love' tells me you don't know what it is. You wouldn't have made the choice to be with that girl in the bathtub if you were (also, see lack of character).
c) You explain this away with lacking social skills. No, social skills have nothing to do with being honest with yourself and others, actively making choices and standing by them. You're essentially lying to yourself here. This naïvety shows you're not really emotionally mature.
My advice: Don't lie to yourself. If all you want out of relationships is a pretty face, and something to fuck. Then by all means do so. Just don't make shit up to make it even less rational, it'll just screw with your head. In my opinion you need some time to reflect over what your principles are (if you have/want any) and just TRY to look at things more objectively. Ask yourself why you're doing what you're doing, what your actions might lead to, and whether you accept this or not. This kind of reflection will probably protect you from a lot of unneeded heat. I'm not telling you to be moral, I don't think you care all that much for that. All I need you to do is to look yourself in the mirror before making life-changing calls and asking yourself:
a) Is it legal?
b) Is it reasonable? (ie. does it benefit you both in the short and the long run?)
c) Can I look myself in the mirror again if I do this?
Don't just skim through these questions, really reflect upon them. If you answer either of them with a no, you should probably consider the choice even more. If it's 'yes' all the way, you can always trust that your decisions were thought through, if (or rather) when they get messed up... because even the wisest do not see all ends. |
QFT
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jun 2011 11:26 Post subject: |
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| Radicalus wrote: | | I could never be together with a hot no brainer for longer than 2-3 weeks, ever. The relationships usually ended, when my mates meet her for the first time. Now, my mates are cynical bastards, who like to tease, and like subtle humor - the hot no brainer girls had this: huh? what is going on right now? kind of expression. I just can't be with dumb people. They also act weird in bed, if you ask me. I'm not the sentimental type, but I like to have a deeper emotional connection with people I sleep with - you can't have that with stupid people. |
From the way you describe the people you've been with, you sound like a person completely lacking in sympathy and kindness.
In other words, a worthless partner.
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jun 2011 12:06 Post subject: |
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1) fuck A
2) couple with B
3) profit?
| Lutzifer wrote: | | and yes, mine is only average |
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jun 2011 12:23 Post subject: |
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| spankie wrote: | | And I really loved that girl for. She was pretty, she was fun to be around, could have a good time, she was happy with me. But once I had a bad week at work or I was having some stress career-wise (which happens very rarely to start with), no support at all. When I took her to social gatherings where there were other people than braindead 'jersey shore' types, she was clingy as hell. And then you realise what you basically already knew from the beginning 'If this is going to be the rest of my life, i will kill myself. I am no fucking babysit for my braindead fuckdolly' (gotta love the respect in that sentence...) I guess she would ve been perfect as a mistress. Fun for 1 day, but then i need a break of 1 week |
Sum up what I went through, except 3 years for me =/ I feel sorry for the girl sometimes... feels like I used her.
But then again, I gave her full-paid vacations to Hawaii... San Diego in 5 star hotels and other niceties. She never paid for anything, so I guess I got used in the end.
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jun 2011 12:27 Post subject: |
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Can I become your next bitch?
| Lutzifer wrote: | | and yes, mine is only average |
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jun 2011 14:53 Post subject: |
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| Casus wrote: | | Radicalus wrote: | | I could never be together with a hot no brainer for longer than 2-3 weeks, ever. The relationships usually ended, when my mates meet her for the first time. Now, my mates are cynical bastards, who like to tease, and like subtle humor - the hot no brainer girls had this: huh? what is going on right now? kind of expression. I just can't be with dumb people. They also act weird in bed, if you ask me. I'm not the sentimental type, but I like to have a deeper emotional connection with people I sleep with - you can't have that with stupid people. |
From the way you describe the people you've been with, you sound like a person completely lacking in sympathy and kindness.
In other words, a worthless partner. |
Well, aside from revealing my real identity, I have no way of proving the contrary - so, if that's what you want to believe, then so be it. How would you know I was unkind? I was just honest with you guys here. Did I say I just dumbed them, after hurting their feelings? No. I keep contact with about 80-85% of my exes, and they often much rather discuss their issues with me, than their partners. I bet that's because I am unkind ...
Whilst growing up, I had around 2 male friends, both of them geeks, the rest of my friends were all girls (whom I wanted something more with, true, but they rather had me as a friend). So that kind of stuck with me.
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jun 2011 15:01 Post subject: |
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| StrEagle wrote: | | Can I become your next bitch? |
You cannot.
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jun 2011 15:17 Post subject: |
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| Radicalus wrote: | | Casus wrote: | | Radicalus wrote: | | I could never be together with a hot no brainer for longer than 2-3 weeks, ever. The relationships usually ended, when my mates meet her for the first time. Now, my mates are cynical bastards, who like to tease, and like subtle humor - the hot no brainer girls had this: huh? what is going on right now? kind of expression. I just can't be with dumb people. They also act weird in bed, if you ask me. I'm not the sentimental type, but I like to have a deeper emotional connection with people I sleep with - you can't have that with stupid people. |
From the way you describe the people you've been with, you sound like a person completely lacking in sympathy and kindness.
In other words, a worthless partner. |
Well, aside from revealing my real identity, I have no way of proving the contrary - so, if that's what you want to believe, then so be it. How would you know I was unkind? I was just honest with you guys here. Did I say I just dumbed them, after hurting their feelings? No. I keep contact with about 80-85% of my exes, and they often much rather discuss their issues with me, than their partners. I bet that's because I am unkind ...
Whilst growing up, I had around 2 male friends, both of them geeks, the rest of my friends were all girls (whom I wanted something more with, true, but they rather had me as a friend). So that kind of stuck with me. |
I have no desire to believe anything.
You said you were with "stupid people" and "hot no-brains", and apparently what your friends thought of them was more important to you than what you thought of them yourself.
Why the hell did you choose to be with them, if you didn't like them?
Personally, if I choose to be with a girl - no matter her level of intelligence - I would never call her a "stupid no-brain" before looking at myself and wondering why I was moronic enough to choose such a person in the first place.
Describing an ex like that, without her having done something to deserve it, makes you sound like a self-obsessed piece of shit.
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jun 2011 15:56 Post subject: |
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| Casus wrote: | | Radicalus wrote: | | Casus wrote: |
From the way you describe the people you've been with, you sound like a person completely lacking in sympathy and kindness.
In other words, a worthless partner. |
Well, aside from revealing my real identity, I have no way of proving the contrary - so, if that's what you want to believe, then so be it. How would you know I was unkind? I was just honest with you guys here. Did I say I just dumbed them, after hurting their feelings? No. I keep contact with about 80-85% of my exes, and they often much rather discuss their issues with me, than their partners. I bet that's because I am unkind ...
Whilst growing up, I had around 2 male friends, both of them geeks, the rest of my friends were all girls (whom I wanted something more with, true, but they rather had me as a friend). So that kind of stuck with me. |
I have no desire to believe anything.
You said you were with "stupid people" and "hot no-brains", and apparently what your friends thought of them was more important to you than what you thought of them yourself.
Why the hell did you choose to be with them, if you didn't like them?
Personally, if I choose to be with a girl - no matter her level of intelligence - I would never call her a "stupid no-brain" before looking at myself and wondering why I was moronic enough to choose such a person in the first place.
Describing an ex like that, without her having done something to deserve it, makes you sound like a self-obsessed piece of shit. |
Go on, be self-righteous about it. Nice.
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jun 2011 17:02 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Tue, 21st Jun 2011 17:05 Post subject: |
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| human_steel wrote: | | I'm spamming. |
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