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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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 Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 15:06 Post subject: About to be disowned |
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Well, I used to live with my parents until recently, when I gathered enough money to buy this shitty apartment from the Romanian state (they lived here, it was rented from the state), and they moved in a one room apartment, for which I paid pretty much everything until I was fired back in November. Ever since then, until I found an art director position, my girlfriend was paying for everything, anyway, now I found the job and that's not an issue anymore. Since stuff goes so well and I have a contract for an undefined period with these people (pretty difficult for them to fire me, anyway, that's beside the point), I decided to pop the question to my girlfriend since she's pretty much the love of my life and was so much more supportive than my shitty ass parents when I remained without a job. They keep DEMANDING money, more money, all the time, saying they can't live on their own in an apartment where they don't even pay rent because it was paid in full by my sister and I, utilities are cheap as fuck, and they don't even pay for furniture or electronics because as you guessed it, they were paid by my sister and I, and some stuff even by my fiancee (lol). I talked with them, saying I can't give them any more money, and so did my sister since I'm almost 25, my sister is 36, she's having a kid and actually starting a family and I'm getting married sometimes soon and so will I, so you can pretty much imagine we can't spend any more money on someone else besides us. And then the screaming started, both my dad, and my mom, that I am never grateful, that I never visit, that I always ASK FOR STUFF (I asked once or twice to come and iron my shirts since neither I or my fiancee could), that I contributed with nothing (I pretty much decorated their house and renovated this one completely) and that I am getting disowned, along with my sister. They said I'm worthless, that I always leave during weekends (am I not allowed out of the house at 25?) and come back drunk, stuff like that. You know what's so, so fucking sad? This apartment is in my name. Everything they own, be it a bed or a TV, is either in my name or my sister's. Everything I own is in my name, MY FUCKING NAME. And they want to disown me. Fucking leeches. My mom works three hours a day and is paid the wage a full-time employee makes. My dad is retired because of diabetes, on a huge state pension. What the fuck are they doing with all the money beats me because everytime I used go by, I was being served shitty food and store brands. What a fucking joke. Too late for them to reconsider, they didn't change in 60 years, no way are they going to now. They can disown me all they want, in the end, I own everything they "have". But I'm not a douchebag, so they can remain with all that useless shit.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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tw1st
Posts: 6112
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 15:13 Post subject: |
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Damn, ya that sounds rough. Looks like you and your sister have been supporting them for a long time, and they should probably be more appreciative of what you've done with them.
Family issues are always the worst, I've gone through me share of them as well.
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 15:20 Post subject: |
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I honestly can't believe it's even happening, I mean, I knew they were pretty awful, always criticizing everyone else, especially my dad, who thinks is a goddamn genius (he actually ruined my perfectly good GTX 670 a while ago because he left a pretty demanding game running while I was away, and it overheated, thus causing a fuckton of artifacts and I had to use a hand me down 660) when in truth he can't even change a showerhead. I'm cutting off all ties, I am tired, absolutely tired of these awful people.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 15:42 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Interinactive on Tue, 5th Oct 2021 02:05; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 15:47 Post subject: |
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Fuck them. Well not literally, but they're not worth knowing.
They want to disown you? Fine, maybe they'll see how good they had it after loosing your support. I advise you to also start collecting dirt on them, they might try to screw with your life if they're so vindictive.
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 15:55 Post subject: |
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Ungrateful bastards, sorry to hear your parents are acting like that. Let's hope they find the way back from their own delusional world some day. 
For now, cut ties and support, maybe it will wake them up.
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 15:58 Post subject: |
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My advice, for what it's worth.
Just let them go, just put them behind you, even if they are of your blood.
Focus on the positive people around you for example your fiance.
And remember, remember not to turn out like them.
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 16:10 Post subject: |
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Tell them if they want to disown you - to move out of your apartment.
Otherwise to stay there and don't bother you both.
| Lutzifer wrote: | | and yes, mine is only average |
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65096
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 17:40 Post subject: |
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I'm so sorry Claude, this is really an uncomfortable situation that no one should face nor deserve :/
My reaction would be the same as yours, there's no doubt about that. You're a great independent guy and with your girlfriend you will live happiliy even without "them". Their loss  (and I bet they will regret everything soon)
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 17:51 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Yondaime on Mon, 2nd Dec 2024 15:37; edited 1 time in total
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 18:04 Post subject: |
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Spoke with my sister about this, we both agreed to cut all ties. These are no parents. Not when they depend on their children for income (why, it beats me, since they're pretty much making the same money as my GF and that is enough for two people to live comfortably). I saw this coming a mile away, surprised it didn't happen earlier, to be honest, They always disagreed about my relationship, claiming pretty much all the time that she's a whore or that her job has no future (she started as a photographer in a night club, where I met her, but now she's moved on to weddings and other events and whatnot, she still takes photos in that night club, mainly because it pays pretty good, and being there for two hours, two nights a week, is easy and profitable). They said the same about me, that WANTING to finish a technical faculty or university is useless and that I should focus on more important stuff (starting to work from a young age so that I give them money). Fuck it, ima resume my university, I can pay for myself and my schedule is very comfortable here (in case you don't understand why I brought this up, is because I wasn't allowed to go to university after high school because they were too busy gorging themselves to help me pay for it). Fuck them. Fuck everything about them. Took me 25 years to realize how manipulative and controlling they were. Hell, I'm wondering how I'm so sane most of the time. It's a good thing I have great friends and someone that understand and cares for me. Jesus, I even understand why my brother in law didn't use to visit as much when they used to live here. I'll probably sell this place and move somewhere farther from them since they live just down the street, good thing I rarely go that way because there's nothing interesting, store or place that way.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 18:05 Post subject: |
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| Yondaime wrote: | I can only agree with the rest of the humpers in this thread, you're not in the wrong here Claude, I know you know it but yeah, just saying. They sound like shitty people alright... They may be your parents but that doesn't give them the right to behave like assholes to you over and over again, especially not considering how you've treated them so well yourself.
I'm just going to give you a link to this subreddit:
http://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/
I don't know if it'll be of any use to you or if you even need it but most people on that subreddit has had similar situations in one way or another and reading other peoples experiences can help for some people, knowing they're not alone you know. Either way, don't ever blame yourself or let them walk all over you again like that. You don't deserve to be treated like that by anyone. |
I was actually looking for a subreddit of that variety since I feel the need to vent like never before, but my search yielded nothing. Thank you.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw |
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 18:44 Post subject: |
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dude, this is a simple case of them wanting attention, dont play allong their silly game. dont blow up any bridge either, just dont call them or talk to them for a few months, dont pick up the phone, dont say a word.
they will be begging u back , and forget about the past ... there is only one life and one family. dont make the mistake i made hating them forever, its not worth it.
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 19:08 Post subject: |
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| PickupArtist wrote: | dude, this is a simple case of them wanting attention, dont play allong their silly game. dont blow up any bridge either, just dont call them or talk to them for a few months, dont pick up the phone, dont say a word.
they will be begging u back , and forget about the past ... there is only one life and one family. dont make the mistake i made hating them forever, its not worth it. |
As bad as it sounds right now, i would also recommend trying this. It's your only family, and some day you might grow to realize you've made a mistake, and on that day it might be hard for all parts to get back into contact even if they have changed.
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 19:11 Post subject: |
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The abuse has been going on since I can remember, it's only now that I have reached my boiling point. I will probably try it in the future, but I'd rather not.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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Invasor
Moderator
Posts: 7638
Location: On the road
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 19:20 Post subject: |
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When we behave, nobody cares, but when we are bad, nobody forgets.
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 19:26 Post subject: |
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That's family for ya.
Disowned mine years ago, and never looked back.
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 19:28 Post subject: |
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Uh.. not sure I understand what they're spending their money on, booze, hookers?  it's nice of you to give them money but if they have their own income really..
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Mon, 9th Jun 2014 19:32 Post subject: |
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| madmax17 wrote: | | Uh.. not sure I understand what they're spending their money on, booze, hookers? it's nice of you to give them money but if they have their own income really.. |
"Hey Andrei, sorry to be bothering, but I need some rons for food and cigarettes and wine and beer and if you come by can you bring me ice cream?"
No more.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw |
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Fri, 13th Jun 2014 18:58 Post subject: |
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Yeah so all ties are cut. Between the screaming and name calling, I managed to make them understand they will leave us alone or I will evict them. Sometimes in the future I will probably give them the house or something so I can truly cut all ties but to be honest I enjoy the silence so...damn...much. Also, after visiting the subreddit Yondaine suggested, I cannot believe how much of that behavior I see in me, such as always asking for permission, even for the most basic stuff, or "needing" to share EVERYTHING with them and so on. I am thankful I have the greatest sister and the best fiance and friend a man could ask for. I'm also somewhat glad they will not be attending our wedding, whenever that may happen. Finally free.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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| Posted: Fri, 13th Jun 2014 19:02 Post subject: |
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Congratulations, honestly.
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| Posted: Fri, 13th Jun 2014 19:03 Post subject: |
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| Guy_Incognito wrote: | | Congratulations, honestly. |
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Morphineus
VIP Member
Posts: 24883
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Fri, 13th Jun 2014 19:14 Post subject: |
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| sabin1981 wrote: | | Guy_Incognito wrote: | | Congratulations, honestly. |
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fisk
Posts: 9145
Location: Von Oben
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| Posted: Fri, 13th Jun 2014 20:00 Post subject: |
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| MORPHINEUS wrote: | | sabin1981 wrote: | | Guy_Incognito wrote: | | Congratulations, honestly. |
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Yes, yes I'm back.
Somewhat.
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Werelds
Special Little Man
Posts: 15098
Location: 0100111001001100
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| Posted: Fri, 13th Jun 2014 20:24 Post subject: |
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Well, clearly the hump is now entitled to a vast sum for the psychological assistance provided to better your mental health. Details will be sent to you in a PM, we are demanding this sum to be paid within 48 hours.
 Spoiler: | <3
Good for you dude  |
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ClaudeFTW
Posts: 5074
Location: Bucharest, Romania
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| Posted: Fri, 13th Jun 2014 20:32 Post subject: |
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Thanks, guys. Honestly. I haven't even talked about this with my friends, only my immediate, remaining family. Although as cliche as that sounds, my mind was set on this outcome after reading that subreddit.
R7 2700x @4GHz / MSI B450 Tomahawk / beQuiet! Dark Rock 4 / 32GB @3000 MHz / MSI RTX 2060 Gaming Z / Samsung 850 EVO 250GB / Western Digital 1TB / Fractal Design Meshify C Dark / SuperFlower Leadex Gold 650W / DELL whatever 27 inch IPS
I usually stream stuff: http://www.twitch.tv/claudeftw
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65096
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Fri, 13th Jun 2014 21:06 Post subject: |
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| red_avatar wrote: | | Parents are just regular people |
This, pure truth. Just because someone has put his dick in someone's vag... it doesn't make them holy and untouchable.
Good parents don't behave in the way like Claude described. Good parents are selfless in when it comes to their children. Even in the most dire situations.
And just because he cut ties now, doesn't mean there can never ever be peace again. But it should come from their initiative and not him or his sister.
Maybe they'll wake up some day from now on or they won't.
Good job Claude. Huge respect for going through with this. Especially in a world where since ancient times everyone tries to tell you to worship your parents. No matter how shitty they treat you.
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Maybe it's regrets of past decisions, jealousy of what lies ahead of you while their life is pretty much over - the fact they hate you going out points in that direction since that's the main reason parents don't want their kids to go out.
