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 Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 13:04 Post subject: Karma has finally got me |
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Went home early on Monday because of this stomach bug going around, missed work yesterday because I was in the bathroom ever 10 minutes with the worse possible diarrhea I've ever had, thought I may have finally been better today.
Go outside, all the snow from the banks from the plow when we had all that snow mostly melted into our complex parking lot and froze overnight, so my tires are sitting in about 2 1/2 inches of ice. Try getting out for 10 minutes, finally go inside to get this salt melt shit we got. Bend over to put it around the tires, I'm apparently not over the bug yet because when I bent over, I shit myself.
Slam the bucket on the ground yelling.
Try running back into the house clenching my buttcheeks and almost slip because of all the ice while it's running down my legs.
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chiv
Posts: 27530
Location: Behind You...
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 13:08 Post subject: |
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diarrhoea.. damn... that stinks dude 
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 13:38 Post subject: |
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doobzilla
Posts: 1099
Location: Team America's Mount Rushmore Base. Stolen from Indians.
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 14:44 Post subject: |
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Just do what I did, make a manpon and shove it between your cheeks. What's a "manpon" you ask? It's just a wad of toilet paper that you shove so that when you inevitably shit your pants while sick, you don't have such a mess.
I learned this while I was sick with that norovirus shit a couple of weeks ago. I must've ruined at least four pairs of underwear before I figured it out.
Hobo Zombie: TRAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS
Woman Zombie: COMPLAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Englishmen Zombie: REFRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Thanks for the idea Lutz!
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Ankh
Posts: 23350
Location: Trelleborg
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 14:57 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 17:20 Post subject: |
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wow that is fucking disgusting 
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chiv
Posts: 27530
Location: Behind You...
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 17:37 Post subject: |
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I hate it when people don't finish their stories...
so...? did you get your car out of the ice?
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 17:37 Post subject: |
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| chiv wrote: | I hate it when people don't finish their stories...
so...? did you get your car out of the ice? |
and the shit all out ur asshole? |
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Sin317
Banned
Posts: 24322
Location: Geneva
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 17:41 Post subject: |
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i wonder, what you probably could have done, that karma punishes you, by you shitting yourself ...
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chiv
Posts: 27530
Location: Behind You...
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 17:48 Post subject: |
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he laughed at a three-legged dog that fell over when it was running diagonally up a hill.
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 18:13 Post subject: |
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| Sin317 wrote: | | while you can't "turn gay", you can cut off your balls. believe me, you'll never think of women again. |
| zmed wrote: | | Or just a defense mechanism. If you fart, you'll most definitely smell it so your brain tells you it ain't bad as strangerfarts. |
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Saner
Posts: 6877
Location: Uk
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 18:16 Post subject: |
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| ragnarus wrote: |
I saw things like that in here and in other "woman problems" topics so...... Am I the only one that thinks some authorities needs to be alerted about Saner and him possibly being a rapist and/or kidnapper ? |
Saner is not being serious. Unless its the subject of Santa! |
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 20:42 Post subject: |
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| chiv wrote: | I hate it when people don't finish their stories...
so...? did you get your car out of the ice? |
About half an hour ago I finally did lol. Took me a bit of engine reving and crap to do it but it was done! |
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Sin317
Banned
Posts: 24322
Location: Geneva
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Grale
Banned
Posts: 3321
Location: Invert
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 21:07 Post subject: |
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| doobzilla wrote: |
I learned this while I was sick with that norovirus shit a couple of weeks ago. I must've ruined at least four pairs of underwear before I figured it out. |
That's meant to be one nasty fucking bug. Was it as bad as they say doobzilla?
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doobzilla
Posts: 1099
Location: Team America's Mount Rushmore Base. Stolen from Indians.
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| Posted: Wed, 13th Feb 2013 22:19 Post subject: |
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| Grale wrote: | | That's meant to be one nasty fucking bug. Was it as bad as they say doobzilla? |
Yes it was. And worse.
At one point, I took a pillow, a bottle of Gatorade (or pediasure, I can't remember), and a three gallon bucket into the bathroom with me so I could at least get some sleep without having to worry about shitting in my bed (it's a tempur-pedic and, as it's just a big sponge, I didn't want to have that to worry about while trying to sleep). And, I couldn't take any time off of work as my one and only co-worker decided that was a great time to take his vacation time (that he hasn't even earned yet) and stay at home all week.
It's been almost three weeks and I still can't shit right.
I used to find Australian women extremely sexy. Now I just want to throw a bucket of pukey shit on them to show my hatred for the deathspawn that is the norovirus.
Oh, and after four days of shitting myself and puking almost nonstop, I passed out, hit my head and had to go to the hospital. Fun times.
Hobo Zombie: TRAAAAAAAIIIINNNNNNSSSSSS
Woman Zombie: COMPLAAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Englishmen Zombie: REFRAAAAAAAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSSSS
Thanks for the idea Lutz!
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| Posted: Thu, 14th Feb 2013 00:10 Post subject: |
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murgo
Posts: 1928
Location: Brezelcountry
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| Posted: Thu, 14th Feb 2013 19:37 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Sat, 16th Feb 2013 00:08 Post subject: |
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| doobzilla wrote: | | Grale wrote: | | That's meant to be one nasty fucking bug. Was it as bad as they say doobzilla? |
Yes it was. And worse.
At one point, I took a pillow, a bottle of Gatorade (or pediasure, I can't remember), and a three gallon bucket into the bathroom with me so I could at least get some sleep without having to worry about shitting in my bed (it's a tempur-pedic and, as it's just a big sponge, I didn't want to have that to worry about while trying to sleep). And, I couldn't take any time off of work as my one and only co-worker decided that was a great time to take his vacation time (that he hasn't even earned yet) and stay at home all week.
It's been almost three weeks and I still can't shit right.
I used to find Australian women extremely sexy. Now I just want to throw a bucket of pukey shit on them to show my hatred for the deathspawn that is the norovirus.
Oh, and after four days of shitting myself and puking almost nonstop, I passed out, hit my head and had to go to the hospital. Fun times. |
ROFLMAO! Manpon FTW!! |
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| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 02:37 Post subject: |
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I would like to update all of you concerned citizens...I had my first solid shit today. I was pretty excited by the feeling of it tearing my asshole apart as it warped through the black hole into the it's designated dimension.
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chiv
Posts: 27530
Location: Behind You...
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| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 03:49 Post subject: |
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congratulations, you are now a man.
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couleur
[Moderator] Janitor
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spankie
VIP Member
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Location: Belgium
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murgo
Posts: 1928
Location: Brezelcountry
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Werelds
Special Little Man
Posts: 15098
Location: 0100111001001100
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| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 10:27 Post subject: |
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Where's Rofl_Mao when you need him 
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tonizito
VIP Member
Posts: 51441
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Tue, 19th Feb 2013 10:48 Post subject: |
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| Werelds wrote: | | Where's Rofl_Mao when you need him |
True, it's been a while since he logged in to post his log out's. 
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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" the dude was "oh that sucks 
