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 Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 19:14 Post subject: best friend and my ex |
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So my ex-girlfriend broke up with me about 2 weeks ago and she is also a very very close friend to my best friend. Now after the break up she is taking a lot of initiative and focusing a lot on my best friend, hanging out with him etc. Worthy to note is that my best friend also broke up with his gf about 4-5 days ago. Anyway they're spending a lot of time together and they've always had good chemistry. She is even spending a lot more with him then she did with me and this is driving me nuts and making me very jealous.
I've always sensed that there is something between them.. because of the simple fact that about a year back the same best friend was on a pause with his girlfriend for a few weeks and during that time my ex-girlfriend was single and she basically went all in on him and tried to get him and he got interested as well but backed off once his girlfriend wanted him back..
Now I sense that they're hitting it off again as they're both single and it's really hurting me bad. I don't know if this is just my jealousy going crazy.. but it really sucks and i'm just wondering if you guys have any tips on what to do? Am I being pathetic for feeling this jealousy? The funny thing is that she told me that she's not interested in a relationship in the near future and that she doesn't even have time to meet people during the summer as she is working all the time and tired in the evenings but so far she seems to be hitting it off really well with my best friend after work and so on..
I'm just confused, is my jealousy bullshit or should i be concerned? I still love her and i'd do anything to get her back and it just sucks to see her invest a lot of time in another guy especially my best friend and see how she just has lost interest for me.. It really hurts and has kept me up for a few days.. Yeah I know a lot of whining but this is the first girl i actually love in my relationships so far and i'm just very confused on how to handle the situation and the feelings..
Tried to keep as much details out while giving the clear picture as I don't want to write a 5 page essay.. Hope I can get some feedback as this jealousy is eating me from the inside..
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 19:21 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 19:28 Post subject: |
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I don't know what so say about this. Stuff like this always makes me laugh my ass off. People in these situations are behaving absolutely idiotic because they're so confused by their feelings that they can't think clearly.
It's obvious what you should do. At least what would be smart to do. But your feelings will keep you from doing it. I'm one of those people who encourages thinking with the heart but sometimes you just have to use your brain too.
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 19:35 Post subject: |
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| m3th0d2008 wrote: | I don't know what so say about this. Stuff like this always makes me laugh my ass off. People in these situations are behaving absolutely idiotic because they're so confused by their feelings that they can't think clearly.
It's obvious what you should do. At least what would be smart to do. But your feelings will keep you from doing it. I'm one of those people who encourages thinking with the heart but sometimes you just have to use your brain too. |
And what's the obvious thing to do?
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 19:57 Post subject: |
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| FireMaster wrote: | | Fuck bitches get money |
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 20:06 Post subject: |
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| Razacka2 wrote: | | m3th0d2008 wrote: | I don't know what so say about this. Stuff like this always makes me laugh my ass off. People in these situations are behaving absolutely idiotic because they're so confused by their feelings that they can't think clearly.
It's obvious what you should do. At least what would be smart to do. But your feelings will keep you from doing it. I'm one of those people who encourages thinking with the heart but sometimes you just have to use your brain too. |
And what's the obvious thing to do? |
Going on with your life, telling your so called best friend to back off for a fucking while because that shit is just disrespectfull
or tell em both to go suck a dick and yadda yadda
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 20:08 Post subject: |
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| JahLux wrote: | | Razacka2 wrote: | | m3th0d2008 wrote: | I don't know what so say about this. Stuff like this always makes me laugh my ass off. People in these situations are behaving absolutely idiotic because they're so confused by their feelings that they can't think clearly.
It's obvious what you should do. At least what would be smart to do. But your feelings will keep you from doing it. I'm one of those people who encourages thinking with the heart but sometimes you just have to use your brain too. |
And what's the obvious thing to do? |
Going on with your life, telling your so called best friend to back off for a fucking while because that shit is just disrespectfull
or tell em both to go suck a dick and yadda yadda |
What he said.
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 20:14 Post subject: |
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As said, tell your best friend that you don't like it that he is hanging out (and in, most probably) with your ex.
It does sound like they are fucking tbh.
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 20:20 Post subject: |
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Basically if you don't have a strong backbone don't wonder why you're constantly being stabbed in the back
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 20:28 Post subject: |
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I've told him that i'm very uncomfortable with it and that i don't like it at all but he tells me that he is just acting as a friend. He basically put it as he is the victim of being a friend to her and that she is the one showing all the attention, interest and so on and he is just accepting it and being her friend and a close one as they were very close before i got together with her ( i got to know her through him). so he tells me that the one i should be angry towards is my ex as she is the one who is showing all the interest and so on and he is just a "victim"...
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 20:29 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 20:52 Post subject: |
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1. Yep, they are fucking.
2. Maybe even while you were together. (just a coincidence that he left his gf too!?)
3. You still call him best friend? Really?!
4. When she said that she doesn't have time for a relationship, this doesn't mean that she a. did not lie about this matter, b. doesn't want to fuck your friend.
Forget about her and take a step back and see if that guy is really worthy of being your best friend.
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 22:02 Post subject: |
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Dump your so called friend, remove every contact of your friend and ex and have a time out, you don't want to hear what your friend and ex are doing because thats just going to make you worse.
dust.
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 22:05 Post subject: |
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| Oddmaker wrote: | | Dump your so called friend, remove every contact of your friend and ex and have a time out, you don't want to hear what your friend and ex are doing because thats just going to make you worse. |
+1go complete ignore mode on both of them, dont think about it cause it wont make it better. go out and be social, meet ppl, be open.
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Roach_666
Posts: 1299
Location: Hell in its Alpha Build
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 22:28 Post subject: |
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| Oddmaker wrote: | | Dump your so called friend, remove every contact of your friend and ex and have a time out, you don't want to hear what your friend and ex are doing because thats just going to make you worse. |
THIS.
Start living your life in such a way so that you don't have to hear or see any of them. And if you accidentally come across them or any of them - don't look forward to anything new. Just act indifferent.
The only real remedy for you is to move on with your life and whatever memories you've - flush them down the toilet and don't create any new memory involving them.
The other problem you're going to have is your mind may start to slip (lead to depression) with your desire to have sex from time to time. So it is very important how you take care of your sexuality.
Find someone to fuck or watch plenty of porn. That'll take your mind off.
You can also try God (if you believe, i.e.).
EDIT: There'll be a time when you'll want to hurt them. Hurt them bad. The key thing here is NOT TO act on that impulse at all. Because if you do hurt them somehow, it's going to end up creating new memory and any new memory involving them isn't going to help in the long run at all.
To summarize: Since you can't love them, you don't have to hate them either. And if you can do this, only then you'll be able to move on and be finally free.
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| Posted: Fri, 29th Jun 2012 23:50 Post subject: |
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I guess you guys are right.. I have to move on and they're standing in my way.. But i mean they're very close friends as well since way back.. don't they have a right to spend time together or is it just something a guy-friend doesn't do after a break-up?
I'm really confused right now, feelings everywhere. One moment I feel like I can ignore them the second I feel like i have to keep watch on both of them in order to make sure that they're not spending time together or fucking or something in order to keep calm but i just wish they'd do it and i would get to know so i can both tell them to fuck off and move on with solid proof.. until then im just a jealous ex that's having crazy feelings in their eyes. I've become so paranoid and I know that i'm never gonna be able to get them to understand how it looks from my point of view but they see it as two close friends spending time yet it just doesn't make sense in my head...
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| Posted: Sat, 30th Jun 2012 00:41 Post subject: |
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How much time did you spend with that tramp?
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Roach_666
Posts: 1299
Location: Hell in its Alpha Build
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| Posted: Sat, 30th Jun 2012 00:54 Post subject: |
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Let some more time pass.
Only the passing of time can help you now.
In the meantime, try spending some quality time with your family members and other friends. Visit them if you've to.
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| Posted: Sat, 30th Jun 2012 01:32 Post subject: |
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| huxanomaly2 wrote: | | How much time did you spend with that tramp? |
About 4 months as a couple.. still didn't take long for us to admit our love etc after we "officially" became a couple..
I regret ever getting involved with her, always sensed something between my best friend and her and now they're hitting it off being happy and i'm the one suffering.. damn love sucks but i guess i really need to move on..
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HubU
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fisk
Posts: 9145
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| Posted: Sat, 30th Jun 2012 01:50 Post subject: |
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I wonder how many of you would be moral if your best friend dumped a really smoking chick that had the hots for you when you were single.
Everyone says they want to do the right thing until they get an opportunity not to.
Yes, yes I'm back.
Somewhat.
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| Posted: Sat, 30th Jun 2012 02:11 Post subject: |
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| fisk wrote: | I wonder how many of you would be moral if your best friend dumped a really smoking chick that had the hots for you when you were single.
Everyone says they want to do the right thing until they get an opportunity not to. |
Well as a really good friend. I fucked some guys' not ex's but current girlfriend, and told them right in their face about it. Just to let them know they're dating a tramp and should look for something better.
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cobALT
Posts: 2340
Location: In a world created by fascist and used by cowards to manipulate
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| Posted: Sat, 30th Jun 2012 03:02 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Sat, 30th Jun 2012 03:11 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Sat, 30th Jun 2012 04:12 Post subject: Re: best friend and my ex |
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| Razacka2 wrote: | So my ex-girlfriend broke up with me about 2 weeks ago and she is also a very very close friend to my best friend. Now after the break up she is taking a lot of initiative and focusing a lot on my best friend, hanging out with him etc. Worthy to note is that my best friend also broke up with his gf about 4-5 days ago. Anyway they're spending a lot of time together and they've always had good chemistry. She is even spending a lot more with him then she did with me and this is driving me nuts and making me very jealous.
I've always sensed that there is something between them.. because of the simple fact that about a year back the same best friend was on a pause with his girlfriend for a few weeks and during that time my ex-girlfriend was single and she basically went all in on him and tried to get him and he got interested as well but backed off once his girlfriend wanted him back..
Now I sense that they're hitting it off again as they're both single and it's really hurting me bad. I don't know if this is just my jealousy going crazy.. but it really sucks and i'm just wondering if you guys have any tips on what to do? Am I being pathetic for feeling this jealousy? The funny thing is that she told me that she's not interested in a relationship in the near future and that she doesn't even have time to meet people during the summer as she is working all the time and tired in the evenings but so far she seems to be hitting it off really well with my best friend after work and so on..
I'm just confused, is my jealousy bullshit or should i be concerned? I still love her and i'd do anything to get her back and it just sucks to see her invest a lot of time in another guy especially my best friend and see how she just has lost interest for me.. It really hurts and has kept me up for a few days.. Yeah I know a lot of whining but this is the first girl i actually love in my relationships so far and i'm just very confused on how to handle the situation and the feelings..
Tried to keep as much details out while giving the clear picture as I don't want to write a 5 page essay.. Hope I can get some feedback as this jealousy is eating me from the inside.. |
I'm sorry, but they its 99% that they are fucking. You cant do anything about it, its fairly common that friends want to bang eachothers gfs, and then the time comes, they strike.
Oh and dont listen to her bullshit, she says things cause she dont want to hurt you too much yada yada. Its easy to see trough when you aint blinded by love "oh maybe.. just maybe she tells the truth" NO.
Just hang out with other friends, that guy is a douche.
If he really loves her and they end up for 10 years, sure, you can take him back as a friend after a while, when you are over her.
I would NEVER do a good friends girlfriend unless i reaaaaaaaally think it would become something more that just fuck once or twice*
Friends old gfs are off limits 99% off the time for me. But its common among "bros".
There is plenty fish in the sea mate! First months will be rough, but shit will become better in the long run! Older and wiser
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Beary: How about we kill them, and then rape their bodies so we can use their blood as lubricant.
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garus
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| Posted: Sat, 30th Jun 2012 11:39 Post subject: |
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snip
Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:41; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Sat, 30th Jun 2012 11:50 Post subject: |
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| HubU wrote: |  |
After acquiring, spend currency on females  the vicious circle. |
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Neon
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Posts: 18934
Location: Poland
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| Posted: Sat, 30th Jun 2012 12:18 Post subject: |
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She's your ex for a reason, act like it. Why do you give a fuck, she's your EX. You are no longer together, she can do whatever the hell she wants.
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