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Frant
King's Bounty
Posts: 24555
Location: Your Mom
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 Posted: Sat, 30th May 2020 11:48 Post subject: Soo sad - my 20 year old cat is sick and it's likely the end |
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I still remember when I picked her up spring 2000. Sissi (the name I gave her) was ~10+ weeks old and I wasn't planning on getting a cat. A used to visit a friend back then and he and his girlfriend had a new litter. I've always been an animal lover, esp. cats, but I didn't feel I wanted to take responsibility for a cat since I hadn't had a pet of my own at that point.
Out of the entire litter, she was the one that chose me whenever I visited. The other kittens were playing and messing about but she always climbed up on the chair I sat in and sat next to me. That's how I noticed she was a very special cat and I was sold. She had been promised to someone else but since I was a close friend I got her. I put her on the passenger seat and started driving home. That was not popular. She did anything she could to climb onto my side. Finally I placed her on my chest and she was content and just hung there for a while. Then she climbed up on my shoulder (with me driving) and just sat there calmly and looked out the window without disturbing my driving.
Always very social, very calm, very charming and beautiful.
Now she's 20, she's stopped eating and barely drinks water. She's had an issue with her thyroid gland (hyperthyroidism, medicated) for the last 3 years but now she's waning away, skinny, stiff/arthritic hips/legs, lately also a bad stomach leading to diarrhea and as I said before, stopped eating. I've bought so many different kinds of food the last ~6 months but she's gotten pickier and picker and last week or so she's barely eaten, today nothing (I bought a bunch of different stuff I know she used to love but now it seems she's smelling it, want to eat it but either don't know how or just can't get herself to eat). She's blind on her left eye (typical old-age issue with cats due to lack of taurine, the most essential nutrient for cats since they can't produce it, only get it from food).
It's breaking my heart and I'm soo depressed and sad. I know she's had a long life but it hurts so bad.
I'm so afraid of taking her to the vet after the weekend, knowing there's a big chance I might not come home with here again.
I had a similar but more shocking experience in February when her younger step-brother Pluttis who was 17 suddenly fell ill (FKD - Feline Kidney Disease) which ended up with me taking him to the vet. He hadn't been sick a day in his life. In fact, I had never taken him anywhere since the day I picked him up and was mostly worried about how he'd react to being taken to the vet. He was a one-man cat, scared of visitors (he hid and few saw more than a quick flash as he ran to the bedroom to hide in all those years) but was an awesome cat in every aspect that I miss dearly. When I came to the vet that day in February I didn't even dare thinking it might be something really serious, that it would just be a matter of examining him and giving me a prescription.
The vet spent ~10 minutes and simply said that his kidneys had failed from FKD and that the kidneys did no longer produce a very necessary hormone that oxygenated his blood and that he was slowly suffocating and that the only thing we could do was to let him go to sleep but that it was ultimately my decision. Worst day in my adult life. That choice was obvious, I couldn't take him home and let him suffer but letting him die there and then was unthinkable. Yet that was what happened. He was in such a bad shape (it had escalated of just a couple of hours that he was too weak to stand or walk) and the vet put a blanket on the table and asked if I wanted to be there for him. I was there in his final moments and I will never forget those horrible moments before he finally went away.
And now my first and oldest cat seems to have reached the end. I'm still trying to get over the loss of Pluttis and now Sissi is fading away, two cats I've lived with for 17 and 20 years. I know 17 and 20 are very respectable ages but it doesn't make a difference, it's breaking my heart seeing her wane away like this and knowing she might not be around much longer. I know I'm sounding like a soft old sap but I guess I am.
As a comparison it wasn't this difficult when my grandmother passed away 5 years ago. She faded away more slowly with many minor strokes in her last 5 years making her less and less clear and in the end she was barely conscious. It was expected and we (myself and my mother, not sure what my aunt thought about it) felt that she finally got the rest she deserved instead of suffering through confusion and all the issues coming with multiple minor strokes that affected memory, personality etc. We were prepared and while it was sad it wasn't a shock.
This is something entirely different and I'm not comparing anything but the experience of losing someone. Sissi was my comfort after Pluttis passed. Now Sissi is passing from old age and the diseases that comes from it and I'm in despair. I don't want her to suffer needlessly and I have to take the decision that will spare her from unnecessary suffering.
Sorry for the rant, I just need to vent about my grief and loss. People that don't understand how someone can bond with an animal like this, don't respond please. I'm not taking callous remarks well at the moment.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
"The sky was the color of a TV tuned to a dead station" - Neuromancer
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Il_Padrino
Posts: 7464
Location: Greece by the North Sea
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| Posted: Sat, 30th May 2020 12:08 Post subject: |
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I felt the emotions welling up while reading that 
People without animals won't understand it, but losing a pet is like losing a companion, friend, and even child (for those without children).
I've lost a few cats myself over the years. They all reached respectable ages, but those last days/hours with them are the most painful thing imaginable.
Thinking about each of them now, Azrael, Matroejska, Prutske. All such amazingly sweet creatures who never did any harm and gave only love. Fuck, crying now, I knew it would happen when opening this topic
Last week, Nala hurt her leg and she's been limping since (dislocated kneecap), and I've been worried like crazy. Can't even get work done, had to take a half day off yesterday. Tuesday she'll get surgery.
There must have been a door there in the wall, when I came in.
Truly gone fishing.
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Sin317
Banned
Posts: 24322
Location: Geneva
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| Posted: Sat, 30th May 2020 12:14 Post subject: |
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We have 4 cats and I love them to death.
Last year, one ran away and was killed by a car. I am still sad thinking about him.
Heck, I still sometimes think about the cat we had when I was a kid. Cats are such great creatures.
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tonizito
Posts: 51249
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Sat, 30th May 2020 12:22 Post subject: |
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Lost quite a few over the years, the one that hit me the hardest was the one that I carried and buried myself. Maybe this won't help you, but chances are you'll get over it better with a youngster kitty?
I always remember them fondly, and all my videogame characters are named after my dead cats 
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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LeoNatan
Banned
Posts: 73193
Location: Ramat Gan, Israel 🇮🇱
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| Posted: Sat, 30th May 2020 13:00 Post subject: |
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So sorry to hear Frant! You should take her to the vet, suffering must be alleviated. Perhaps some treatment can help. Stay strong and bring new fluffy friends, so you don’t have an empty house.
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ixigia
[Moderator] Consigliere
Posts: 65005
Location: Italy
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| Posted: Sat, 30th May 2020 13:30 Post subject: |
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I'm genuinely sorry to hear that Frant, stay strong. 
There is not much that I can say to comfort you, losing a pet companion is such a heartbreaking experience that only time can heal the wounds..eventually. I've been there with my nearly 19-year-old grey Persian Sofia some years back, and I'd be a liar if I said that I completely got over it. I adopted a stray after that but unfortunately, after 4 years she fell severely ill (blood infection/sepsis) and couldn't recover despite the many attempts from the vet.
As of now I don't have any pets, sadly the sorrow derived from losing them scares me too much at the moment. However, we can always hold onto all the great moments spent together and relish them, no one will take those away from us.
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Frant
King's Bounty
Posts: 24555
Location: Your Mom
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Nalo
nothing
Posts: 13491
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| Posted: Sat, 30th May 2020 17:24 Post subject: |
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Last edited by Nalo on Wed, 3rd Jul 2024 05:45; edited 3 times in total
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| Posted: Sat, 30th May 2020 17:28 Post subject: |
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Sorry to hear that Frant, lost two cats myself rip
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| Posted: Sat, 30th May 2020 18:15 Post subject: |
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A good friends cat just died recently. Was only 5 years old. I'm sorry to hear that your cat isn't doing well frant, I hope you'll always keep your fond memories.
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Danyutz
Posts: 4412
Location: Redplanet
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| Posted: Sat, 30th May 2020 19:28 Post subject: |
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Aw, this is a sort of topic you wish nobody opens or a discussion nobody starts. Pets should live forever, they don't deserve any harm or bad things that happen to them.
Don't know what to wish for you and Sissi, but to stay strong and enjoy the time spent together.
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Frant
King's Bounty
Posts: 24555
Location: Your Mom
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| Posted: Sat, 30th May 2020 23:20 Post subject: |
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Dude, she counts on you to make the right decision.
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| Posted: Sun, 31st May 2020 03:16 Post subject: |
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@Frant you should check to see if a vet can't do a call out, they can come to you.
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Il_Padrino
Posts: 7464
Location: Greece by the North Sea
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| Posted: Sun, 31st May 2020 15:03 Post subject: |
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| AmpegV4 wrote: | | @Frant you should check to see if a vet can't do a call out, they can come to you. |
Yes, try to ask for this. Let her go to sleep in its own home, on its own blanket.
It'll be a lot better for yourself too, especially the drive home...
Perhaps also cut of a little hair as a remembrance (you might regret it later).
There must have been a door there in the wall, when I came in.
Truly gone fishing.
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| Posted: Sun, 31st May 2020 18:31 Post subject: |
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man,i´m sorry for the situation you´re in. my cats are around for +- 10 years and i dread the moment they both get serious problems because i know it will come eventually.
i´d do anything to get them better but most procedures are just buying some time at a certain age of the cat and its hard to say if that time will be a pleasure for the cat at all.
fuck man,stay strong,try to make her purr
| paxsali wrote: |
Now, I don't know what hardware costs in Poland, I guess it's cheaper because everything is stolen from Germany and resold... |
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Frant
King's Bounty
Posts: 24555
Location: Your Mom
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| Posted: Mon, 1st Jun 2020 07:58 Post subject: |
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She's gone. Took a taxi to my mum while holding her in a blanket, then in a pet carrier to the only vet clinic open on a weekend 25km away. At that point she could no longer move except her head (too weak) and the vet said she was well beyond any rescue efforts. She was first given a sedative and a while later the sleeping agent overdose. It went very quietly and no disturbing things (like with Pluttis) happened except for the fact that my 20 year old and very very dear friend died in front of my eyes while I was trying to comfort her... and after the fact I couldn't really take it in and was left with her and kept stroking her for a while.
If I had gotten a home-call vet that did it here it would've cost me (and my mother) £$€500+ and we don't have that kind of money. This cost us £$€220 and the rest of the month will be very poor but I don't care. She was dying but at least she's not suffering anymore and self-dying would've been too cruel.
Now I feel extremely empty, lonely, weird, shocked.. unexplainable. And very very sad. I find myself thinking in my old patterns randomly: "Must leave the door open so she can..", "I wonder if she'd like some of..." etc. etc. and then realize she's gone and extreme grief sets in.. over and over and over again.
Thanks for the support and kind words.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
"The sky was the color of a TV tuned to a dead station" - Neuromancer
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VonMisk
Posts: 9435
Location: Hatredland
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| Posted: Mon, 1st Jun 2020 08:13 Post subject: |
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So sorry mate.
It always hurts. I lost two cats myself, one after very uneven fight with FIC and one just passed on while I was at work. Still miss them.
sar·casm | \ ˈsär-ˌka-zəm \
1: a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
2a: a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual
b: the use or language of sarcasm
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| Posted: Mon, 1st Jun 2020 08:52 Post subject: |
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I feel with ya, lost a lot of pets over the years it's always really hard on me.
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Frant
King's Bounty
Posts: 24555
Location: Your Mom
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| Posted: Mon, 1st Jun 2020 10:34 Post subject: |
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I was going to the loo and by reflex I looked at the chair where she used to sleep (a big chair with a fluffed blanket) and when I saw it was empty I somehow ended up in the kitchen and broke down in a crying attack. Sorry if I'm coming off sappy and a wreck but I don't really care. I didn't cry since I was a child until the recent year and I can't stop it.. It comes as sudden attacks.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
"The sky was the color of a TV tuned to a dead station" - Neuromancer
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tonizito
Posts: 51249
Location: Portugal, the shithole of Europe.
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| Posted: Mon, 1st Jun 2020 11:01 Post subject: |
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At least now she won't be suffering any more.
Stay strong dude.
| boundle (thoughts on cracking AITD) wrote: | | i guess thouth if without a legit key the installation was rolling back we are all fucking then |
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Frant
King's Bounty
Posts: 24555
Location: Your Mom
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| Posted: Mon, 1st Jun 2020 12:11 Post subject: |
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@Tonizito Yes, she's not suffering anymore, that's the most important thing. I'd never forgive myself if was so selfish that I'd rather keep her around until she died on her own which would just mean more suffering for her. Thanks.
@Dazz99 Thanks. Yes, she had a very good life (and a long one) and I was lucky to have her. Will never forget her (or her step brother). She was my first cat I had on my own and such a good friend that gave me so much love for so many years and I did my best to return the favor.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
"The sky was the color of a TV tuned to a dead station" - Neuromancer
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| Posted: Mon, 1st Jun 2020 12:29 Post subject: |
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Just read the entire thread. Feel bad for everyone who lost a pet, the sorrow from their loss is a feeling that I've never known because my living situation never allowed me to keep one even though I love animals.
@Frant: You shouldn't hold back your emotions like that for whatever reasons. While I'm sorry for your deep loss, I am a little glad that you let out your feelings after what looks to be many, many years. Can I suggest staying off the internet for a bit and playing an RPG to divert your attention elsewhere? Be well.
1 and 2 are still amazing.
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Sin317
Banned
Posts: 24322
Location: Geneva
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| Posted: Mon, 1st Jun 2020 13:12 Post subject: |
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I suggest getting a new kitten asap. Not to replace her, nothing ever could, but more to have another living being there, that needs your love and attention.
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Frant
King's Bounty
Posts: 24555
Location: Your Mom
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| Posted: Mon, 1st Jun 2020 13:13 Post subject: |
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| Yuri wrote: | Just read the entire thread. Feel bad for everyone who lost a pet, the sorrow from their loss is a feeling that I've never known because my living situation never allowed me to keep one even though I love animals.
@Frant: You shouldn't hold back your emotions like that for whatever reasons. While I'm sorry for your deep loss, I am a little glad that you let out your feelings after what looks to be many, many years. Can I suggest staying off the internet for a bit and playing an RPG to divert your attention elsewhere? Be well. |
Thanks. And yes, I'm going to take a break and watch some Star Trek (recently got the entire DS9 and will go on to Voyager after that, some escapism is what I need now) and play some offline games.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
"The sky was the color of a TV tuned to a dead station" - Neuromancer
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Frant
King's Bounty
Posts: 24555
Location: Your Mom
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| Posted: Mon, 1st Jun 2020 13:18 Post subject: |
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| Sin317 wrote: | | I suggest getting a new kitten asap. Not to replace her, nothing ever could, but more to have another living being there, that needs your love and attention. |
I know, that's what they say (and I've said it to friends who've had similar/same experience). But right now I can't even think about it. If I later decide to do it I'll make sure that the kitten I get is registered and insured from day 1 since both my mother and I are broke after yesterday from taking her to the only sunday-open clinic close to the neighboring town and they have double the fees on saturdays and sundays. Thanks for the suggestion though.
I'm not in a state where I can pick up and remove all the cat stuff yet but I'll deal with it in a couple of days since they're a constant reminder (and my mind automatically says: "I should check to see if there's water/food for..." and reality comes crashing down hard.. many times just since yesterday).
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
"The sky was the color of a TV tuned to a dead station" - Neuromancer
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