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headshot
VIP Member
Posts: 35982
Location: UK
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 Posted: Thu, 16th Nov 2006 11:49 Post subject: Never Lie To Your Mother |
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A young man called Paul invited his mother for dinner.
During the Course of the meal his mother couldn't help but notice how handsome Paul's flatmate, peter, was.
She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Paul and his flatmate than met the eye.
Reading his mums thoughts, Paul volunteered,
"I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, peter & I are just flatmates".
About a week later, peter came to Paul saying, "Ever since your Mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the frying pan, you don't suppose she took it do you?"
"Well I doubt it, but I'll email her just to be sure" said Paul.
So he sat down and wrote:
DEAR MOTHER,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID" TAKE THE FRYING PAN FROM MY HOUSE,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DID NOT" TAKE THE FRYING PAN,
BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IT HAS BEEN MISSING EVER SINCE YOU WERE HERE FOR DINNER.
LOVE PAUL.
Several days later, Paul received an email from his mother which read:
DEAR SON,
I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO" SLEEP WITH PETER,
AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT YOU "DO NOT" SLEEP WITH PETER,
BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT IF HE WAS SLEEPING IN HIS OWN BED,
HE WOULD HAVE FOUND THE FRYING PAN BY NOW.
LOVE MUM.
Lesson of the day, NEVER LIE TO YOUR MOTHER.
May the NFOrce be with you always.
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| Posted: Thu, 16th Nov 2006 12:14 Post subject: |
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heh, nice one
"Only one country can destroy NATO in 40 minutes - it's Russia"
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| Posted: Thu, 16th Nov 2006 14:32 Post subject: |
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Ankh
Posts: 23349
Location: Trelleborg
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| Posted: Thu, 16th Nov 2006 23:47 Post subject: ATTN: Debunk of the anecdote to follow: |
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What if Peter was gone for the weekend? Or at his girlfriends all the time having hot Christian sex? This also assumes that Peter doesn't have one of the many somatosensory system disorders rendering him unable to actually feel the frying pan. In which case, your anecdote is just cruel and tasteless. Not to mention the sexual stimulation the frying pan might be giving Pete, in case he doesn't even have a Christian girlfriend. And now that I've proven than having Christian girlfriend has nothing to do with finding frying paths; you must agree that the whole assumption this "mother" made is based on nothing more than religious prejudice and cheap laughs on the expense of sick and disabled.
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strm
Posts: 179
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Fri, 17th Nov 2006 00:37 Post subject: Re: ATTN: Debunk of the anecdote to follow: |
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| PoorLeno wrote: | | you must agree that the whole assumption this "mother" made is based on nothing more than religious prejudice and cheap laughs on the expense of sick and disabled. |
no
"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
Rick Cook, The Wizardry Compiled
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fraich3
Posts: 2907
Location: Not from my mouth!
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sTo0z
[Moderator] Babysitter
Posts: 7449
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri, 17th Nov 2006 17:55 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Fri, 17th Nov 2006 20:56 Post subject: Re: ATTN: Debunk of the anecdote to follow: |
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| AnimalMother wrote: | | Clevesa wrote: | | PoorLeno wrote: | | What if Peter was gone for the weekend? Or at his girlfriends all the time having hot Christian sex? This also assumes that Peter doesn't have one of the many somatosensory system disorders rendering him unable to actually feel the frying pan. In which case, your anecdote is just cruel and tasteless. Not to mention the sexual stimulation the frying pan might be giving Pete, in case he doesn't even have a Christian girlfriend. And now that I've proven than having Christian girlfriend has nothing to do with finding frying paths; you must agree that the whole assumption this "mother" made is based on nothing more than religious prejudice and cheap laughs on the expense of sick and disabled. |
Stop smoking man...  |
I bet he's fun at parties.  |
PoorLeno i dear you to scientific prove the existence of Santa Claus |
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Esel_Gesi
VIP Member
Posts: 3802
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Fri, 17th Nov 2006 21:28 Post subject: Re: ATTN: Debunk of the anecdote to follow: |
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| AnimalMother wrote: | | Clevesa wrote: | | PoorLeno wrote: | | What if Peter was gone for the weekend? Or at his girlfriends all the time having hot Christian sex? This also assumes that Peter doesn't have one of the many somatosensory system disorders rendering him unable to actually feel the frying pan. In which case, your anecdote is just cruel and tasteless. Not to mention the sexual stimulation the frying pan might be giving Pete, in case he doesn't even have a Christian girlfriend. And now that I've proven than having Christian girlfriend has nothing to do with finding frying paths; you must agree that the whole assumption this "mother" made is based on nothing more than religious prejudice and cheap laughs on the expense of sick and disabled. |
Stop smoking man... |
I bet he's fun at parties. |
lol! I was thinking the same. |
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Ankh
Posts: 23349
Location: Trelleborg
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| Posted: Fri, 17th Nov 2006 21:50 Post subject: |
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Hehe good one
Poorleno, get your head out of your Christian bum - fecking loony
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| Posted: Fri, 17th Nov 2006 22:15 Post subject: |
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Haha, you fags are hopeless.
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| Posted: Sat, 18th Nov 2006 01:05 Post subject: |
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Oh, no; I think you [the group] are fags because you [the person I'm about to refer to] suck dick, AnimalMother. But also because as far as showing the non-funniness of an anecdote with an extensional continuation that's even less 'funny' - you, fags, totally lost me. And AnimalMother, wow, I forgot what fucking prick you were. Dang, I miss this place.
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| Posted: Sat, 18th Nov 2006 01:43 Post subject: |
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| PoorLeno wrote: | | Oh, no; I think you [the group] are fags because you [the person I'm about to refer to] suck dick, AnimalMother. But also because as far as showing the non-funniness of an anecdote with an extensional continuation that's even less 'funny' - you, fags, totally lost me. And AnimalMother, wow, I forgot what fucking prick you were. Dang, I miss this place. |
Heh, sorry but when your mum laughs at your jokes she's only being polite. Reality had to hit you in the face sometime, it might aswell have been in this thread.
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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| Posted: Sat, 18th Nov 2006 02:32 Post subject: |
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Oh! You nasty! I'd cry if I had any tears left since the last time you said the exactly the same thing.
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WaldoJ
VIP Member
Posts: 32678
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| Posted: Sat, 18th Nov 2006 04:22 Post subject: |
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Why can't these two queers be gay for one another.
Peter and paul. How gayer can you get?
If it was Jim and Fred then yeh I'd be skeptical but peter and paul... those are gay guy names!
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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headshot
VIP Member
Posts: 35982
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sat, 18th Nov 2006 04:24 Post subject: |
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lol this thread got more replies than I thought it would!
May the NFOrce be with you always.
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WaldoJ
VIP Member
Posts: 32678
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| Posted: Sat, 18th Nov 2006 04:30 Post subject: |
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| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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Ankh
Posts: 23349
Location: Trelleborg
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| Posted: Sat, 18th Nov 2006 21:33 Post subject: |
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I'm one flame from suicide, commit people!! 
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| Posted: Sat, 18th Nov 2006 22:00 Post subject: |
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| PoorLeno wrote: | | I'm one flame from suicide, commit people!! |
you mama was a hamster
now GO EMO
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| Posted: Sat, 18th Nov 2006 22:56 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Sat, 18th Nov 2006 23:16 Post subject: |
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| Vodka-Redbull wrote: | | u got tits AND a dick? |
What? Don't you? Doesn't everyone?  |
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