Privates (free game)
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Neon
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Location: Poland
PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 13:11    Post subject: Privates (free game)


Quote:
Sex.

When you think of it as all awesome and a pleasant feeling that's all squishy and tingly and what-have-you, it sounds brilliant. But if you're not careful about how you go about it, you can get some gunk in your trunk which at worst can completely screw up your insides. Delightful!

Thank the STARS then for John "Jack" Sterling, worn-down Captain of the oh-so-useless 'Foxtrot Squad'. It's up to you to take charge and lead your squad in and around people's private parts, clearing them of all manner of pesky and dangerous critters, oozes and bosses.

KEY FEATURES:
Blast away at various different enemies in all sorts of crazy, sometimes fragrant, locations!

Fully-voiced, funny, silly script!

Five whole levels!

Bit rude!




Couldn't find a topic for it, though I swear it was here somewhere.

Anyway, it's out, for free.


http://www.e4.com/game/privates.html


And I have to say, it's EXCELLENT so far. Great humor, even from gaming, for ex:

- I hear a witch! Turn your flashlights off!
- What?
- Uh...Sorry.

And the sperm description is also great. Laughing

It's just fun arcade shooter, and hell, it's free, so...
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sabin1981
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Posts: 87805

PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 13:15    Post subject:
Thanks mate, should be good for a laugh!
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ixigia
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Posts: 65072
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 13:16    Post subject:


It looks great Razz



Random creations of an insane mind / Screens from Bulgaria [Early Access]


Last edited by ixigia on Fri, 6th Aug 2010 13:51; edited 1 time in total
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Aeon




Posts: 8700
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 13:20    Post subject:
Haha, awesome. Downloading now!Smile


Intel i7 6700K, RTX470 Super, Kingston HyperX Fury 32GB
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CookieCrumb




Posts: 4670
Location: Celephaïs
PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 14:03    Post subject:
I started Mount Vagina but when I reached the Cervix it crashed.

wait a minute.
Now how fucking strange does that sound? O.o


sabin1981 wrote:
Now you're just arguing semantics. Getting fucked in the ass with a broom stale is an "improvement" over getting stabbed in the eye with a fork Rolling Eyes
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dezztroy




Posts: 6590
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 14:06    Post subject:
Lawl.

Just finished the second level. Nice little game.
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Neon
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Posts: 18934
Location: Poland
PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 14:09    Post subject:
Reklis wrote:
I started Mount Vagina but when I reached the Cervix it crashed.

wait a minute.
Now how fucking strange does that sound? O.o


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shole




Posts: 3363

PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 15:25    Post subject:
by the guys who made the brilliant ben there, dan that(free) and time gentlemen, please(nfohump thread)
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Vulgarr




Posts: 1273

PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 17:40    Post subject:
Looks funny. Thanks for the heads up.
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fugazi86
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PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 17:48    Post subject:
PRIVATES? Ahh i know only XXX
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RainyDay




Posts: 2212
Location: Bulgaria
PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 20:23    Post subject:
Lol, its a great.. game Very Happy
Also.. quite.. unique :}

oh, and woot for space marines grinhurt


Per aspera ad astra
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garus
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Posts: 34200

PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 20:39    Post subject:
snip


Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:28; edited 2 times in total
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Mussolinka
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Posts: 2782

PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 20:50    Post subject:
garus wrote:
Nice! Time gentleman, please was good Very Happy


wat
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xGAME007




Posts: 2134
Location: Croatia
PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 20:51    Post subject:
Mussolinka wrote:
garus wrote:
Nice! Time gentleman, please was good Very Happy


wat


"Time gentleman, please" its the name of the game from same developer Smile


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ixigia
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Posts: 65072
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 21:33    Post subject:
Mussolinka wrote:
garus wrote:
Nice! Time gentleman, please was good Very Happy


wat


Yeah, it sounds a bit odd if you don't know the game Laughing
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Dunge




Posts: 1201
Location: Québec
PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 23:15    Post subject:
The two adventures games jokes were a lot more funny than this one which just consist of shooting STD. Shooting and movements needs a bit of tweaking, the feeling is not right, not responsive enough. Still awesome for a free game.
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stemot




Posts: 1886

PostPosted: Fri, 6th Aug 2010 23:34    Post subject:
Dunge wrote:
The two adventures games jokes were a lot more funny than this one which just consist of shooting STD. Shooting and movements needs a bit of tweaking, the feeling is not right, not responsive enough. Still awesome for a free game.


Moving around shooting is perfectly responsive here.
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garus
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PostPosted: Sat, 7th Aug 2010 00:34    Post subject:
snip


Last edited by garus on Tue, 27th Aug 2024 21:28; edited 2 times in total
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Lathieza




Posts: 7146
Location: NL
PostPosted: Sat, 7th Aug 2010 00:37    Post subject:
Reklis wrote:
I started Mount Vagina but when I reached the Cervix it crashed.

wait a minute.
Now how fucking strange does that sound? O.o


same here


Empty again Sad
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Aeon




Posts: 8700
Location: Netherlands
PostPosted: Sat, 7th Aug 2010 00:40    Post subject:
Same indeed.


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JBeckman
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Posts: 34968
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PostPosted: Sat, 7th Aug 2010 09:24    Post subject:
Works here, I'm campaigning in the arse now.
(And yeah that doesn't sound very nice either, mission 3 to be clear about what it means.)
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Mussolinka
Banned



Posts: 2782

PostPosted: Sat, 7th Aug 2010 10:13    Post subject:
Anyone experiencing laughably bad performance? With AA on medium I'm getting 10 fps in the depths of vagina.


sabin1981 wrote:
Fuck you troll. Fuck you and your entire aids-infested family. Get cancer and die. Slowly.
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sabin1981
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PostPosted: Sat, 7th Aug 2010 11:44    Post subject:
Horrid performance here too. Not 10fps though, it drops from 50ish to 20ish with *any* AA... plus the controls just don't feel very nice at all, so unresponsive. Already deleted and forgotten about.
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RainyDay




Posts: 2212
Location: Bulgaria
PostPosted: Sat, 7th Aug 2010 11:48    Post subject:
Same here,
and it also crashes in the mouth level - after a very very long jump down.


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JBeckman
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Posts: 34968
Location: Sweden
PostPosted: Sat, 7th Aug 2010 11:50    Post subject:
AA seems to be something else than traditional MSAA or even SSAA, might be some shader effect as there's six levels of it, does hit performance for me too of course but only at the higher levels, between 1 - 3 isn't that bad.
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ixigia
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Posts: 65072
Location: Italy
PostPosted: Sat, 7th Aug 2010 12:17    Post subject:
sabin1981 wrote:
Horrid performance here too. Not 10fps though, it drops from 50ish to 20ish with *any* AA... plus the controls just don't feel very nice at all, so unresponsive. Already deleted and forgotten about.

This. Sad I died several times just because i couldn't change quickly the direction of aim, not to mention the constant suicidal behaviour of my teammates, which tend to be sticked to a determined position without reacting to the hordes of nasty enemies..

It's a shame because other than that, it's damn brilliant!
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sabin1981
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Posts: 87805

PostPosted: Sat, 7th Aug 2010 12:19    Post subject:
Aye, as far as free indie games go-- this is brilliant! Pretty visuals and some interesting humour. Just a shame about the optimisation and AI glitches. Still; it's FREE, so you can't slam it too hard Very Happy
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proekaan
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Posts: 3650
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PostPosted: Wed, 11th Aug 2010 16:52    Post subject:
It's patched now,so hopefully the bugs and crashes are down to minimal. Smile


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JBeckman
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Posts: 34968
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PostPosted: Wed, 11th Aug 2010 16:55    Post subject:
And here's the info on that update, just redownload it and it should be updated.
http://www.zombie-cow.com/?p=886
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