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PostPosted: Wed, 10th May 2006 22:50    Post subject: relationship help!
My girl (weve been together a long time now) has very bad insecurities due to bad previous guys.. and i love her so much, but no matter what i do or say, she still gets insecure that i wont love her anymore or that i will get sick of her. Its a shame like this and it feels like i tried everything to pove to her how much she means to me, but she still has these worries. I really do love her so much and i need some help, does anyone have some idea of how i can prove to her im hers forever and il always love her? i know its not really the place to post this kinda thing, but i honestly am lost and its starting to get me down. She understands how i feel but i want her to feel it too.

The reason she is so scared is because shes been used and lied to before, and she fell for it. She trusts me but i really want to prove to her that she is my world.

thanks guys.. i hope someone has this situation and can help me Sad SadSadSad:'(
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator



Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
PostPosted: Wed, 10th May 2006 22:54    Post subject:
honestly alot of girls who are commited and sweet are like that... they love you so much that they fear losing you, EVEN if there is no reason for it...

i believe time is your best friend, the longer you go on with her without losing interest, the more comfortable she will feel and start forgetting her ex relationships.
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[sYn]
[Moderator] Elitist



Posts: 8374
PostPosted: Wed, 10th May 2006 22:56    Post subject:
MAD_MAX333 wrote:
i believe time is your best friend, the longer you go on with her without losing interest, the more comfortable she will feel and start forgetting her ex relationships.


Just what I was going to say.. although I do feel the need to point out that if your both still young (how old are you?) then there is a huge chance she will be right Wink
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pistolshrimp
Über-VIP Member



Posts: 11007
PostPosted: Wed, 10th May 2006 23:09    Post subject:
I think time and patience is best. Time will prove everything.

But you should be careful with promising too much even if you really mean it. With someone who is insecure I know the need to help them and to prove your love is powerful but it can backfire. One day you may have to leave them for whatever reason and they will throw it all back in your face about how you promised this and how you promised that. And than worse case scenario they start talking about how they can’t live without you, threaten suicide. Not a good scene.

How do you prove it to her? Marriage dude. and if its too soon for that I would hold off in promising anything else other than you love her.
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PostPosted: Wed, 10th May 2006 23:46    Post subject:
Thanks for comments guys. We are young indeed (19 in fact) but we havebeen through SO much it feels like weve known eachother forever. We have both been there for oneanother at times when great upset was apparent, and to the day i die i can safely say no one could fill her place in what shes done for me.
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kumkss




Posts: 4834
Location: Chile
PostPosted: Wed, 10th May 2006 23:46    Post subject:
i've second the opinions. Very Happy
give time dude, time works miracles. but as pistol says, always with both foots on earth.

btw. is your girl the one of the picture??
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[sYn]
[Moderator] Elitist



Posts: 8374
PostPosted: Wed, 10th May 2006 23:52    Post subject:
19 isnt really young, there is at least *some* hope.. I guess I'm a little pessimistic when it comes to relationships having had a LOT.. the majority of which have gone utterly tit's up, some without any warning. I stand by what people have said though, you do just need to give her time, what Im saying about age/breakups also comes into things as they are likely things that she is thinking, you need to remember that.. TIME TIME TIIIIME and understanding.. Dont try and prove yourself, just be yourself..
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PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 00:40    Post subject:
yeah 19 is kind a serious age. were both mature and leaving college for work soon, probably planning to save up for our own place. i hope it all works out for you guys in your relationships too. Very Happy
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kumkss




Posts: 4834
Location: Chile
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 01:16    Post subject:
watergem wrote:
yeah 19 is kind a serious age. were both mature and leaving college for work soon, probably planning to save up for our own place. i hope it all works out for you guys in your relationships too. Very Happy


i repeat.... is that the pic of your girl??????? if's so, ya man!! i undersatnd your weariness! Laughing Wink
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Spun[k]




Posts: 1714
Location: SWEDEN
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 01:21    Post subject:
kumkss wrote:
watergem wrote:
yeah 19 is kind a serious age. were both mature and leaving college for work soon, probably planning to save up for our own place. i hope it all works out for you guys in your relationships too. Very Happy


i repeat.... is that the pic of your girl??????? if's so, ya man!! i undersatnd your weariness! Laughing Wink



I sure dont think so, that looks like jessica alba. Razz

Sig too big.
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[sYn]
[Moderator] Elitist



Posts: 8374
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 01:22    Post subject:
watergem wrote:
yeah 19 is kind a serious age. were both mature and leaving college for work soon, probably planning to save up for our own place. i hope it all works out for you guys in your relationships too. Very Happy


NO BAD! UNIVERSITY Razz!

erm.. sorry.. been one of those days, in need of ranting. Hope it works out, make sure you dont forget your friends though, you'll always need them. Razz
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AnimalMother




Posts: 12390
Location: England
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 03:22    Post subject:
Spun[k] wrote:
kumkss wrote:
watergem wrote:
yeah 19 is kind a serious age. were both mature and leaving college for work soon, probably planning to save up for our own place. i hope it all works out for you guys in your relationships too. Very Happy


i repeat.... is that the pic of your girl??????? if's so, ya man!! i undersatnd your weariness! Laughing Wink



I sure dont think so, that looks like jessica alba. Razz


If that was his girl he wouldn't need to ask for advice. Jessica Alba could keep you interested until the end of your days. Very Happy

"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D

"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi



Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 05:08    Post subject:
Laughing
My solution was a divorce Laughing seriously

and he laughed the laugh of the damned...Laughing
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who13




Posts: 498
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 05:58    Post subject:
your gonna ask for opinions from computer game people..??? Laughing thats funny
heres my opinion...get over it...your young..life is long..you never know what life is gonna bring...enjoy it and dont worry so much over little things..your not ready to settle down and all of that..live your life..there willbe lots of woman..just dont sit in front of your pc all day 24/7... Cool

good luck..
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pistolshrimp
Über-VIP Member



Posts: 11007
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 06:21    Post subject:
who13 wrote:
your gonna ask for opinions from computer game people..??? Laughing thats funny
heres my opinion...get over it...your young..life is long..you never know what life is gonna bring...enjoy it and dont worry so much over little things..your not ready to settle down and all of that..live your life..there willbe lots of woman..just dont sit in front of your pc all day 24/7... Cool

good luck..


LOL your funny. What utterly useless advice.
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who13




Posts: 498
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 06:40    Post subject:
its the best advice he can get..to be hung up on some girl is a waste of time...many woman all over the world..go hunt and have fun..simple as that!
one day you'll wake up and think "what the fuck was i thinking??"
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kumkss




Posts: 4834
Location: Chile
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 06:59    Post subject:
if she's the girl from the picture, i understand him.

time, time, time.... but don't forget there gives still other "menus". you can always be watching "la carte". that doesn't mean that you don't love her.
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AnimalMother




Posts: 12390
Location: England
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 07:59    Post subject:
She's not the girl from his fucking avatar, understand!?

That is an actress.

"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D

"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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kosmiq




Posts: 2304
Location: Somewhere
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 11:05    Post subject:
Bah, stop telling him to forget about her and all that stuff. Perhaps he feels that she is the one. You know some people can meet the right person when they are very young and really like eachother. If he likes her a lot we should all respect that and help him in his situation instead of telling him how to live his life.

As a few other has suggested I say the same. Give it some time and she will get more comfortable with it. Also be careful to not promise to much if either of you someday want to break up.

Good luck anyway and take good care of her Smile
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DeadByDawn




Posts: 271
Location: Australia
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 11:24    Post subject:
Don't listen to the people who reply with "don't waste time on her, plenty more women". These people have no idea about releationships, and most likely never will.

But yeah, you can't make someone trust so, so just go with the flow, events will take place and with those events she will learn to trust you, if indeed you are truely trustworthy.
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fraich3




Posts: 2907
Location: Not from my mouth!
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 14:23    Post subject:
Its soon summer, take a trip and do something romantic where you cant worry about stuff at home.

"Zipfero is the biggest fucking golddigger ever" - Mutantius
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Damiaen




Posts: 54
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 17:32    Post subject:
Communication is key me thinks.
Talk about what made her feel so insecure and keep that topic alive when you sense she has these feelings again.
When you find out more about what exactly happened you can perhaps anticipate more in future situations.

My 2 eurocents.
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kosmiq




Posts: 2304
Location: Somewhere
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 19:59    Post subject:
Damiaen wrote:
Communication is key me thinks.
Talk about what made her feel so insecure and keep that topic alive when you sense she has these feelings again.
When you find out more about what exactly happened you can perhaps anticipate more in future situations.

My 2 eurocents.


Always a good thing to talk so thats very true. But don't press her on it as that might make things worse. Just ask if she wants to talk about it and she might not do it right then but most likely later. if she feels that you wanna know why she feels that way she will most likely trust you more. And of course, as already said, give it time.. Smile
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deelix
PDIP Member



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Location: Norway
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 20:23    Post subject:
Life is long.. yeah right. Be you think that when you're 70..
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JeanPerrier




Posts: 3247
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 20:24    Post subject:
go have a drink with her, and wait till she is tipsy. then start leaning in the direction of pussy shaving in the conversation. beeing a bit drunk she will be more open (normally)
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pistolshrimp
Über-VIP Member



Posts: 11007
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 21:46    Post subject:
You guys have no idea about 70, My parents are almost 70. I have nothing else to say. Laughing


Last edited by pistolshrimp on Fri, 12th May 2006 07:59; edited 1 time in total
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who13




Posts: 498
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 23:30    Post subject:
JeanPerrier wrote:
go have a drink with her, and wait till she is tipsy. then start leaning in the direction of pussy shaving in the conversation. beeing a bit drunk she will be more open (normally)


LOL
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Spun[k]




Posts: 1714
Location: SWEDEN
PostPosted: Thu, 11th May 2006 23:47    Post subject:
deelix wrote:
Life is long.. yeah right. Be you think that when you're 70..


When you are 70 theres no time for foreplay, just put some lub on and do your thing. Razz

Sig too big.
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pistolshrimp
Über-VIP Member



Posts: 11007
PostPosted: Fri, 12th May 2006 08:04    Post subject:
I think you should have sex in your 70's. They have that drug-viagra.
..
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Accelleron




Posts: 1926
PostPosted: Fri, 12th May 2006 09:15    Post subject:
JeanPerrier wrote:
go have a drink with her, and wait till she is tipsy. then start leaning in the direction of pussy shaving in the conversation. beeing a bit drunk she will be more open (normally)


God damn it, JP, you too... Crying or Very sad

Watergem, the best advice I can give is to show her she means the world to you... Sure, gifts, romantic dates, etc. do the trick for a night, but she's obviously not interested in that, you've probably tried it already.

If she brings up the conversation, remind her of what you've been through together, and tell her that you'd go through all of that a hundred times again as long as she's with you. Just keep telling her romantic things like that, they might sound corny to you and me, but women, for some reason, are reassured by them, in my experience.

Then again, this is coming from a guy who couldn't find a way to get his girl to shave her pubes without getting made into the laughing stock of a forum, so take it with a grain of salt.
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