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z00mer
Posts: 94
Location: U.S.A.
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 Posted: Fri, 2nd Dec 2005 10:30 Post subject: Please help! I think I'm obsessed with a girl. |
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Ok, there was this girl I met through some friends at a club about a little more than four months ago. We didn't talk much at first, but I bumped into her a few times at some parties and she was friends with my friend's girlfriend so I also saw her a few times when going out to clubs. This girl was beautiful and I just couldn't get the courage to start "throwing game" at her as my friends would put it. She's slim, about 5'7 with long auburn hair, and brown eyes. And everytime she smiled at me I just melted. Eventually though I started talking with her and we had a lot of stuff in common. She was really nice and down-to-earth, not snobby or spoiled like a lot of other girl's I've met; but the only thing was she was like totally rich and I'm a really poor college student.
My friend's told me to call her up and ask her out, but I felt I needed to shape up a little before I did. So I started working out even harder than usual and started trying to save a lot of money. I'm kind of old fashioned and like to pay for almost everything. We talked a few times during the passed three months and (at least I thought) we were kind of hitting it off. But about two and a half weeks without seeing or hearing from her I asked my friend if his girl was going to bring Laura around the next time we went out.
But he ends up telling me that she moved to Los Angeles. I was like OMFG. Her parents moved out there and she went with them. Also he said something about her wanting to become an actress or something. She did some modeling and I heard she did some commercials too. I was going to ask her out a few weeks ago, but I lost my job and was trying to get a new one. But now I think I blew my chance and she's gone, and I'm stuck now completely depressed. Also I never gave her my phone number or anything like that, we just talked whenever we were around. God, I'm stupid!
Now everytime I go to my friend's house I'm looking at pictures of us with her in them with his girlfriend and just can't stop thinking about her. Like almost every five minutes she pops into my head. I even dream about her. I didn't want to say it, but I think I'm becoming obssessed with her. I just can't stop thinking about her. I think my friend's girlfriend might have her cellphone number, but if I go asking for it I'll feel like a stalker. I'm finished with my associate degree in June and I feel like flying out to LA when I'm done to try and become an actor myself. I need some help, what should I do?? 
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Dec 2005 10:48 Post subject: |
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well, if you talked allot with her, you can still call her, and ask how she is doing, if she likes the new house. How the modeling is going.
Nothing wrong with that.
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Dec 2005 11:56 Post subject: |
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Hey maann.... first of all, I know exactly how you feel, but no offence, you really fucked up... BAD.
You started working out harder and working harder to pay everything for her, why? If she likes you she will like you for who you are chicks never go for muscles, never, not this kind of chick. We have one thing in common though, I pay for my girls a well, you can call me old fashioned, then again, I don't work like a fag to pay every fucking thing, I'll pay her cinema ticket, I'll pay her a drink but I wont support her....
This is a classic case of boy not having the courage to step up and make something out of it. You've been doing stuff months with this girl and still you have done nothing that truly counts. Why? Don't you know that when you hang out with a girl too long you start becoming friends and then It's over. Girls are ticking timeboms, timing is everything and if you wait too long the bomb goes off she thinks you're not the one, you don't dig her that way and you become friends that's all. I don't want to be an asshole but you should have taken your shot with this girl. I'm sorry this happened to you I have a similair experience with a girl that I loved. We were together, we loved eachother and then she moved to England, jesus... I was totally crushed, but that's a different story.
Now all you have left is pain and you drown in your own melancholy. Enjoy it, maybe I am strange but when I loose something or someone I like to be depressed I like to cry, I like to feel down, put up some slow music, some sad music and really cry alot. I hope you've learned from this, don't make the same mistake twice, coz it will break you
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator
Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Dec 2005 12:14 Post subject: |
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i'm not trying to be mean, but i think your chance is over, leave her alone and try to get over it.
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Dec 2005 12:18 Post subject: |
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| MAD_MAX333 wrote: | | i'm not trying to be mean, but i think your chance is over, leave her alone and try to get over it. |
Well said.
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Dec 2005 14:10 Post subject: |
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well i dont think you couldve done anything about her moving away, if she wants to be an actress etc, but you probably would feel easier now if you did something, like this you cant really know how it wouldve turned out. i d say forget about her and go on with your life as long as this is still fresh, the more you keep on thinking about her, the harder it will be to break away. if she really means too much to you, you could take a trip to la and have a talk, but the most you could get out of it would be a long distance relationship, and these are pretty tough, trust me i have one and it sometimes really gets me down. anyway good luck with whatever you decide on.
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Dec 2005 14:26 Post subject: |
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why work 3 months before you give it a shot? not really long term thinking. After some time, you dump her and work your ass of another 3 months and start it over?
If she likes you, she likes YOU, not the money, not the muscles 
If i were you, i'd try to forget her. You didn't have a relation yet, so you cant hurt her, and you shouldnt feel hurt either. it will suck in the beginning, but it will pay off in the end. You cant be depressed for a chance you missed. Thats the past, you made a bad decision, go on, try to enjoy your coming days instead of being sad of something you cannot change.
girls girls girls. Cant live without them, cant live with them. :/
next time, give a shot in the beginning. A no is what you have, a yes is what you can get 
And never be shy to be refused. If you ask, they should be flattered. If they start making fun of you, you are worth better. If they only want to be friends, accept it.
Last edited by spankie on Fri, 2nd Dec 2005 14:31; edited 1 time in total
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Dec 2005 14:27 Post subject: |
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| AnimalMother wrote: | Well, remember, depression is the new black. Wear it with style. Maybe you could even go the whole way and become an emo. Ask sublime for tips. 
As for the girl, it's over, you blew it. You've learnt a valuable lesson, but now you have to move on. In time the pain will go away. |
 i read up to the 'new black' and i thought.. "oh here it goes"
If she's in america and yu have no way of contacting her you're fucked really. I find it hard to believe she can so suddenly leave without having the courtesy to tell you :/. Sounds like you were in love a bit but you'll get over it  . And as for posh totties.. yea they're a pain at first but once you actually settle down they're like any others. I live in a posh-ish town but most girls are just middle class anyway |
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z00mer
Posts: 94
Location: U.S.A.
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Dec 2005 22:43 Post subject: |
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I talked to her mostly back in late July/August, then only a few times since, so it's not as if I was really good friends with her. Which is why I don't really hold anything against her for not saying that she was moving. I mostly blame my friend for not saying anything to me.
Some of the guys she had flirted or gone out with (her and her friends seems to go out with these kind of guys) were rich. Now I don't know if she was only in to these kind of guys, but she was rich and she had tons of rich friends too. Plus I lost my job so I didn't feel comfortable asking her to go out and I have hardly any money.
Also, I wasn't working out to get like huge muscles or anything, I was just trying to get some definition back since I hadn't worked out so much since the summer. I don't think I could be emo, it just sucks really really bad. I totally fell head-over-heals for this girl.
Looking back, yeah I probably should have done something. I guess I blew my chance, but I just can't get her out of my head. I asked my friend today if his girlfriend knew her cell number and he said he'd ask her tomorrow when he saw her. If I call her won't it be weird? What should I say? I remember telling her that I took an acting class and she told me once that I was a good actor. Maybe I can tell her that I'm going out there when I'm done in June and want to go to some auditions and if she has any pointers or connections. How's that?
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Fri, 2nd Dec 2005 22:59 Post subject: |
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Women are a fuckin pain in the ass dude...fuck em - litterally, pick one up, get ur rocks off and ditch em...too much of a fuckin headache....
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spankie
VIP Member
Posts: 2958
Location: Belgium
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Dec 2005 01:01 Post subject: |
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| spankie wrote: | Syco,still pissed for your ex apparently.
Let the anger go, it will kill you... Not good for your heart. You will need heart surgery and blood pressure pills |
hahaha not my ex dude, that bitch is done with.
just women in general man...so much of a fuckin headache...all for what? pussy...? fuck, there are a TON of whores around, why put up with a ton of bullshit for some pussy? seriously.
I think Im going back to the one niters...not complicated at all, not emotions, just sex
Im just sick of the bullshit relationships bring...seriously.
Here's a good way of describing it.
"Unsealed, on a porch a letter sat
and I said, I wanna leave it again
Once I saw her, on a beach of weathered sand
and on the sand, I wanna leave it again
On the weekend, I wanna wish it all away yeah
And I called what i said and I want what i said and I called out again
And the reason, oughta leave her calm, I know
I said, I dont know whether im the boxer or the bag"
Yellow Ledbetter by Pearl Jam
EDIT - By the way dude, my heart is already fucked..12-13 years of women problems, drugs, booze, life stress....like Lane Stanley said, "And we die young, the faster we run"
Last edited by SycoShaman on Sat, 3rd Dec 2005 01:06; edited 1 time in total |
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bxrdj
Posts: 1469
Location: Far from Home
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Dec 2005 01:08 Post subject: |
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| Pizda2 wrote: | | Well, Syco, some of us favour love over sex |
So do I...but dude, ur what 18? what till uve been fucked over a couple of times by a woman u love...then tell me its worth going through again, and again, and again and again...seriously, its not. |
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Dec 2005 01:18 Post subject: |
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| Pizda2 wrote: | | SycoShaman wrote: | | Pizda2 wrote: | | Well, Syco, some of us favour love over sex |
So do I...but dude, ur what 18? what till uve been fucked over a couple of times by a woman u love...then tell me its worth going through again, and again, and again and again...seriously, its not. |
Good point. But maybe it is, I dunno, depends on the person. |
What do u mean? on the woman? of course it depends on the chick...all im saying is, I was looking for love, so to speak...but fuck it man...if it comes, it comes..until then, im gunna kick back and enjoy my sexuality ya know?
Like the bitching and arguing and all that shit that comes with a relationship, signifies to me, it isnt love...as if u really loved someone, both sides would be more understanding and compassionate.
Know what i mean?
Dont get me wrong, I'd love to have a girl I trust 100%, one that is totally compatible, but u cant look for that shit, it just happens...hoes on the other hand, are a dime a dozen and help pass the time till you find the right one |
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| Posted: Sat, 3rd Dec 2005 01:24 Post subject: |
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| z00mer wrote: | | Maybe I can tell her that I'm going out there when I'm done in June and want to go to some auditions and if she has any pointers or connections. How's that? |
No don't d that at all! Shit just speak to her normally. If you went out you obviously chatted. Just ask her how's life, say u were a bit shocked at her leavin etc. But dont say you love her. It's probably more of an infatuation with her now that she's gone. To be honest when she was here it doesn't seem like she did a whole lot for you anyway. Why don't you continue to work out and work ur arse off if you think that'll get you the girl of your dreams. 
| Pizda2 wrote: | | Good point. But maybe it is, I dunno, depends on the person. |
(nuff said) |
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005 01:51 Post subject: |
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I say try to meet her and then tell her the truth that you love her. That way you wont regert any thing even if she says " I only considered you as a friend". do you guys think im wrong on what i just said to zoomer?
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005 02:14 Post subject: |
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| hercules18 wrote: | | I say try to meet her and then tell her the truth that you love her. That way you wont regert any thing even if she says " I only considered you as a friend". do you guys think im wrong on what i just said to zoomer? |
Not at all. My credo is: "No regrets" or to put it another way "Live life to its fullest". For the more "latin" people "Carpe diem" thats my interpretation of it.
Had a similar situation with a girl 2 and 1/2 years ago .. well not that she moved away ...
but she left me for another guy. That did not stop me to tell her my feelings ... earned some punches from her new guy then ... but still after she knew this, she broke up with that dumbass ... still i did not get her back, but i think shes happy now and even got some nice an caring guy.
I could not have left her with THAT guy ... he had some very bad rep goin' round.
But i dont have any regrets.
Aww fuck .. that reminded me of her *swallowing hard*.
EDIT: just edited the post 4 times .. just to find the right words
@z00mer: Just do whatever your heart demands. No one on this forum and neither of your friends can tell you that. Just breathe deeply and try to think of her. I think youll know whats best for her ...
Actually now someone could argue about my definition of love.
This is getting long. But i think as long as i really care (reads love) for someone. IMO it is ok to give up on your hopes just to know your love is happier that way. But this has to be confirmed by ACTING and not thinking.
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005 03:26 Post subject: |
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So syco, I take it that it didn't work out with that new girl you made a thread about?
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005 21:42 Post subject: |
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| tRanSwarP wrote: | | hercules18 wrote: | | I say try to meet her and then tell her the truth that you love her. That way you wont regert any thing even if she says " I only considered you as a friend". do you guys think im wrong on what i just said to zoomer? |
Not at all. My credo is: "No regrets" or to put it another way "Live life to its fullest". For the more "latin" people "Carpe diem" thats my interpretation of it.
Had a similar situation with a girl 2 and 1/2 years ago .. well not that she moved away ...
but she left me for another guy. That did not stop me to tell her my feelings ... earned some punches from her new guy then ... but still after she knew this, she broke up with that dumbass ... still i did not get her back, but i think shes happy now and even got some nice an caring guy.
I could not have left her with THAT guy ... he had some very bad rep goin' round.
But i dont have any regrets.
Aww fuck .. that reminded me of her *swallowing hard*.
EDIT: just edited the post 4 times .. just to find the right words
@z00mer: Just do whatever your heart demands. No one on this forum and neither of your friends can tell you that. Just breathe deeply and try to think of her. I think youll know whats best for her ...
Actually now someone could argue about my definition of love.
This is getting long. But i think as long as i really care (reads love) for someone. IMO it is ok to give up on your hopes just to know your love is happier that way. But this has to be confirmed by ACTING and not thinking. |
Your approach is correct. Your thinking isn't.
Yeah, we've all been there. We have emotions for girl, girl leaves, we're empty and fucked up. Some of us go to hell with smoking, drinking, drugs etc. (Syco, hell I've gone that way for a lil while.) Then you have an epiphany... a parapatea of sorts (spelling?) When you realize everything you were thinking is wrong.
Look at it this way, you worked out for this girl. You worked for this girl. You now have money and a nice body. GRATS! Now use those resources to find another girl. Trust me, you'll forget about this girl soon, fuck soon enough you probably won't even want her calling you. If you want to read my story, it's somewhere on this forum, search for it w/e, but basically, I met this girl who'd just broken up with her b/f, we started going out etc. Then she started getting all shady with me, conflicts fights etc. I wrote it off as her period. Then it turned out that she had another guy. I was broken, desperate, fucked up etc. Well, after a while I said fuck it, fuck her. Now she's pretty much calling me every other day, and I have the exact opposite problem: I'm trying to get rid of the bitch without telling her off straight out (I know, many ppl have said I should, I'm just not that kind of person.)
To make a long story short, you've just spent some 3 months making yourself more attractive for this girl. You've also just made yourself that much more attractive to every other girl. Take advantage of it! Fuck her, find another girl and do w/e you want, 1 night stands relationships etc. For me personally, pussy is pussy, just something guys need once in a while. Emotions, companionship and the other things that come with a relationship are in my opinion not worth the constant insecurity and stress that come with them. YMMV, but whatever you do, do something and forget about this girl. She's gone.
BTW, there's nothing particularly wrong with being emo, I have friends that are, it's just one of those choices people make. I personally wouldn't want to be one, but I've definitely borrowed some elements from the culture as a whole.
And if you want some good music to think this over with, a good album is Page Avenue by Story of the Year.
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005 22:31 Post subject: |
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While we're on this topic, just a quick request for some advice.
Today this girl asked me if we could go out for a drink, she's a nice girl but not really my type. So she was with all her friends, and I was alone and being a twat I said yes, got her phone number and said maybe we could go out wednesday. Well seeing as i'm not actually interested, I was wondering how I should let her down easy. I already have my eye on this other girl in my class.
I'm not the type of guy who's into hurting girls , so how should I go about this. If I had thought about it I would have said "sorry, but i'd prefer to just be friends", which is what I usually do. Too late for that now.
Advice? Plz! 
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005 22:34 Post subject: |
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just tell her something came in between so youre busy on wednesday, keep postponing the date until she either realizes quickly that you dont have interest, or just gets bored of it and stops asking.
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005 23:14 Post subject: |
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Just to add something thats important, the 'other girl' I have my eye on is her friend, and I think she likes me too. I don't want to appear like a dick by messing this girl around.
I was thinking of saying that me and my ex were maybe getting back together so this would'nt be the best time.
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005 23:21 Post subject: |
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hmm but in that case you cant really evade being on bad terms with her, sooner or later youre gonna make a hit at her friend, saying that you might be gettin back together with your ex would only postpone things a bit.
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| Posted: Mon, 5th Dec 2005 23:29 Post subject: |
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Well you can go for a drink with mates anyway as long as you don't lead her on its fine. Saying you might be getting back with your ex deffo ruin's your chances with the friend though so don't say that at all.
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