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 Posted: Wed, 20th Apr 2005 21:32 Post subject: Post your no so great moments |
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got the idea from another forum 
Post your moments that you aint proud off.
mine:
I was on vacation in the States visiting friends. So one day i went to the toilet to take a shit. After doing my dump, i tried to flush it. But some how the toilet paper got stuck in the tub, blocking the water and my SHIT.
I was thinking like wtf. How do i solve this. I yelled @ my friend who came with me on this trip. He said use the toilet brush to give the toilet paper a little push. So i tried that and then tried flushing again. Ofcourse this hadn't had any effect, infact the water raises.  
We thought quickly what else we could do. I suddenly got a thought. Ran downstairs grabbed a lunchbag and ran upstairs again.
With the toilet brush i took out the shit and toiletpaper and put it in the bag.
I ran downstairs, out of the door and put the lunchbag with shit and toilet paper in the trashcan. (when i tried flushing the toilet when i came back, it worked ofcourse  
The folks in the house we were staying asked what i did outside. I said i trew away some trash (my shit and toilet paper actualy ). Then they said; "not the trashcan @ the street?" that is our neighboors trashcan".
I went upstairs to tell my friend what happend when i was downstairs . The both of us had a big laugh out of it. And every now and then this story comes up .
so what happend in short words:
*took a shit
*toilet didnt flush (panic)
*grabbed toiletbrush to push the toiletpaper (didnt help)
*grabbed lunchbag
*put the shit and toiletpaper with the help of the toiletbrush in the bag
*ran outside to put it in the trashcan of the neighboors
*LAUGHING OUT LOUD
now post yours
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zTc
Banned
Posts: 293
Location: Denmark
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| Posted: Wed, 20th Apr 2005 21:38 Post subject: |
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you're a true scat-master skidrow
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Mutantius
VIP Member
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Location: In Elektro looking for beans
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_SiN_
Megatron
Posts: 12108
Location: Cybertron
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| Posted: Wed, 20th Apr 2005 22:45 Post subject: |
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Damn, I was thinking of making a thread like this.
Anyway ill be back later when i´ve figured something out to tell y´all.
Watercooled 5950X | AORUS Master X570 | Asus RTX 3090 TUF Gaming OC | 64Gb RAM | 1Tb 970 Evo Plus + 2Tb 660p | etc etc
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nouseforaname
Über-VIP Member
Posts: 21306
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Wed, 20th Apr 2005 23:02 Post subject: |
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I got one .... in my first year of university ...
I'm at a strip club (the Network in Waterloo, ON) with some friends, and of course we've had WAY to much to drink. Anyways, this stripper starts whipping her clothes into the audience ... well .. I snagged her bra, and one of my buds got her hat. He was made to give it back after her dance, but I thought I had pulled a fast one and gotten away with the bra (yeah WTF was I thinking ... some strippers bra?). So we go to leave, and basically in the parking lot I realized that the stripper had told the bouncers (who were two gigantic fat bald bastards) and that they wanted to discuss it with me.
That's where the fun begins. They decided to talk to me with their fists. Those two huge bastards beat me to a pulp. After the beating, they wanted me to pay them for their time. When I had no money on me, they basically took my wallet and gave my bank card to my friends and told them to find a bank machine and bring back $200 if they wanted to see me again. While my friends were gone, they took me into a back room at the club where they told me that if my friends didn't bring back the money ... well ... "they've buried people out back for less". So I'm basically shitting my pants. I know this strip club has ties to bike gangs ... and I'm a little delusional from the beating. My friends came back with $100, saying that's all that was in my account (good call--there was plenty more). So they let me go, warning me not to tell anyone and to never call back.
So I call the cops from down the street, and they send a cruiser to pick me up and they dropped me off at my univ residence. Two days later, the cops calls to say that he had 'sorted' things out, and that the people at the bar had agreed to give me my money back. All I had to do was stop by and get it. Yeah fucking right. So I never went back, and told the cop 'thanks for nothing'.
Moral of the story, don't fuck with strippers. The fucking whores have backup like a motherfucker.
asus z170-A || core i5-6600K || geforce gtx 970 4gb || 16gb ddr4 ram || win10 || 1080p led samsung 27"
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_SiN_
Megatron
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu, 21st Apr 2005 04:07 Post subject: |
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| zTc wrote: | | you're a true scat-master skidrow |
HAHAHA! thats funny |
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu, 21st Apr 2005 04:11 Post subject: |
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| nouseforaname wrote: | I got one .... in my first year of university ...
I'm at a strip club (the Network in Waterloo, ON) with some friends, and of course we've had WAY to much to drink. Anyways, this stripper starts whipping her clothes into the audience ... well .. I snagged her bra, and one of my buds got her hat. He was made to give it back after her dance, but I thought I had pulled a fast one and gotten away with the bra (yeah WTF was I thinking ... some strippers bra?). So we go to leave, and basically in the parking lot I realized that the stripper had told the bouncers (who were two gigantic fat bald bastards) and that they wanted to discuss it with me.
That's where the fun begins. They decided to talk to me with their fists. Those two huge bastards beat me to a pulp. After the beating, they wanted me to pay them for their time. When I had no money on me, they basically took my wallet and gave my bank card to my friends and told them to find a bank machine and bring back $200 if they wanted to see me again. While my friends were gone, they took me into a back room at the club where they told me that if my friends didn't bring back the money ... well ... "they've buried people out back for less". So I'm basically shitting my pants. I know this strip club has ties to bike gangs ... and I'm a little delusional from the beating. My friends came back with $100, saying that's all that was in my account (good call--there was plenty more). So they let me go, warning me not to tell anyone and to never call back.
So I call the cops from down the street, and they send a cruiser to pick me up and they dropped me off at my univ residence. Two days later, the cops calls to say that he had 'sorted' things out, and that the people at the bar had agreed to give me my money back. All I had to do was stop by and get it. Yeah fucking right. So I never went back, and told the cop 'thanks for nothing'.
Moral of the story, don't fuck with strippers. The fucking whores have backup like a motherfucker. |
thats the type of shit that would make me grab a gat, some soldiers and run up in there with ski masks putting bullets in whatever moves, well, the strippers and bouncers anyhow...take a chopper to those cunts knees ya know...that shit hurts, seen a dude take a 12 gauge in the knee one time, looks so bad...lol
Thankfully, i have yet to have abouncer kick my ass...only fought 4 tho  |
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DVQ
Posts: 87
Location: Mexico
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| Posted: Thu, 21st Apr 2005 05:58 Post subject: |
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i got kicked in the balls by a 7 year old in front of my gf and 5 friends... so there you go.
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Esel_Gesi
VIP Member
Posts: 3802
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Thu, 21st Apr 2005 06:12 Post subject: |
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- When i was in 6th grade a 17 year old punched me in the throat and I cried.
- In baseball I gave up 4 home runs on the first 4 pitches of the game and got taken out right away. The knuckle ball wasn't moving enough that day I guess.
those are the only ones i feel like mentioning. much worse has happened.
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| Posted: Thu, 21st Apr 2005 07:32 Post subject: |
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| SycoShaman wrote: | | nouseforaname wrote: | I got one .... in my first year of university ...
I'm at a strip club (the Network in Waterloo, ON) with some friends, and of course we've had WAY to much to drink. Anyways, this stripper starts whipping her clothes into the audience ... well .. I snagged her bra, and one of my buds got her hat. He was made to give it back after her dance, but I thought I had pulled a fast one and gotten away with the bra (yeah WTF was I thinking ... some strippers bra?). So we go to leave, and basically in the parking lot I realized that the stripper had told the bouncers (who were two gigantic fat bald bastards) and that they wanted to discuss it with me.
That's where the fun begins. They decided to talk to me with their fists. Those two huge bastards beat me to a pulp. After the beating, they wanted me to pay them for their time. When I had no money on me, they basically took my wallet and gave my bank card to my friends and told them to find a bank machine and bring back $200 if they wanted to see me again. While my friends were gone, they took me into a back room at the club where they told me that if my friends didn't bring back the money ... well ... "they've buried people out back for less". So I'm basically shitting my pants. I know this strip club has ties to bike gangs ... and I'm a little delusional from the beating. My friends came back with $100, saying that's all that was in my account (good call--there was plenty more). So they let me go, warning me not to tell anyone and to never call back.
So I call the cops from down the street, and they send a cruiser to pick me up and they dropped me off at my univ residence. Two days later, the cops calls to say that he had 'sorted' things out, and that the people at the bar had agreed to give me my money back. All I had to do was stop by and get it. Yeah fucking right. So I never went back, and told the cop 'thanks for nothing'.
Moral of the story, don't fuck with strippers. The fucking whores have backup like a motherfucker. |
thats the type of shit that would make me grab a gat, some soldiers and run up in there with ski masks putting bullets in whatever moves, well, the strippers and bouncers anyhow...take a chopper to those cunts knees ya know...that shit hurts, seen a dude take a 12 gauge in the knee one time, looks so bad...lol
Thankfully, i have yet to have abouncer kick my ass...only fought 4 tho |
what the fuck is wrong with you people...
Everyone knows that the only way to resolve problems involving abusive bouncers is not through firearms or hired "help". It's no secret that the best way to get back at a violent security guard is spitting in his eye and telling him you have aids, followed by a test of your running skills |
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu, 21st Apr 2005 08:49 Post subject: |
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| Accelleron wrote: | | SycoShaman wrote: | | nouseforaname wrote: | I got one .... in my first year of university ...
I'm at a strip club (the Network in Waterloo, ON) with some friends, and of course we've had WAY to much to drink. Anyways, this stripper starts whipping her clothes into the audience ... well .. I snagged her bra, and one of my buds got her hat. He was made to give it back after her dance, but I thought I had pulled a fast one and gotten away with the bra (yeah WTF was I thinking ... some strippers bra?). So we go to leave, and basically in the parking lot I realized that the stripper had told the bouncers (who were two gigantic fat bald bastards) and that they wanted to discuss it with me.
That's where the fun begins. They decided to talk to me with their fists. Those two huge bastards beat me to a pulp. After the beating, they wanted me to pay them for their time. When I had no money on me, they basically took my wallet and gave my bank card to my friends and told them to find a bank machine and bring back $200 if they wanted to see me again. While my friends were gone, they took me into a back room at the club where they told me that if my friends didn't bring back the money ... well ... "they've buried people out back for less". So I'm basically shitting my pants. I know this strip club has ties to bike gangs ... and I'm a little delusional from the beating. My friends came back with $100, saying that's all that was in my account (good call--there was plenty more). So they let me go, warning me not to tell anyone and to never call back.
So I call the cops from down the street, and they send a cruiser to pick me up and they dropped me off at my univ residence. Two days later, the cops calls to say that he had 'sorted' things out, and that the people at the bar had agreed to give me my money back. All I had to do was stop by and get it. Yeah fucking right. So I never went back, and told the cop 'thanks for nothing'.
Moral of the story, don't fuck with strippers. The fucking whores have backup like a motherfucker. |
thats the type of shit that would make me grab a gat, some soldiers and run up in there with ski masks putting bullets in whatever moves, well, the strippers and bouncers anyhow...take a chopper to those cunts knees ya know...that shit hurts, seen a dude take a 12 gauge in the knee one time, looks so bad...lol
Thankfully, i have yet to have abouncer kick my ass...only fought 4 tho |
what the fuck is wrong with you people...
Everyone knows that the only way to resolve problems involving abusive bouncers is not through firearms or hired "help". It's no secret that the best way to get back at a violent security guard is spitting in his eye and telling him you have aids, followed by a test of your running skills |
lmao geek  .....if they laid a beating on me like that, yep thats what id do...but if ur content with spittin in the guys eye, well go for it...
And id rather fight one on one to be honest...but bitch ass bouncers dont fight like.
And it doesnt do much good to come back and brawl...cuz if u show up with a crew, that shotty under the counter will break out.
I dunno where u live man or what kinda shit ur into, but thats how things go down in the real world where ppl arent driving bmw's and shit (not to say u do i dunno, but u get what im saying). |
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator
Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Thu, 21st Apr 2005 09:08 Post subject: |
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hahahaa i drive a BMW and before i joined the police i was in a club, the bouncers started running to a fight and one of the punched me in the face just to get me out of the way ... called up a couple of my friends ( law enforcement , not the bitchy CREW of some people) and he was fired same night...
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| Posted: Thu, 21st Apr 2005 11:09 Post subject: |
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| MAD_MAX333 wrote: | | hahahaa i drive a BMW and before i joined the police i was in a club, the bouncers started running to a fight and one of the punched me in the face just to get me out of the way ... called up a couple of my friends ( law enforcement , not the bitchy CREW of some people) and he was fired same night... |
all i can say is; PWND HAHA
| Mutantius wrote: | Hmm gotta be the early years where I was playing Goldeneye for the N64... My friends and me played for like 4 hours and it was getting quite late
Meanwhile my bladder was beginning to put some pressure so I thought. I just needed 2 more frags then I would goto the WC, suddenly one of the players made a quite funny comment and I laughed... So much that my bladder just decided to unload... |
lol
| nouseforaname wrote: | | I got one .... |
Damn bounzers. They think they'r everything
| DVQ wrote: | | i got kicked in the balls by a 7 year old in front of my gf and 5 friends... so there you go. |
and you didnt hit him back
| Esel_Gesi wrote: | - When i was in 6th grade a 17 year old punched me in the throat and I cried.
- In baseball I gave up 4 home runs on the first 4 pitches of the game and got taken out right away. The knuckle ball wasn't moving enough that day I guess.
those are the only ones i feel like mentioning. much worse has happened. |
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ollax
VIP Member
Posts: 2154
Location: Here today, Hell tomorrow!
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| Posted: Thu, 21st Apr 2005 13:11 Post subject: |
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| DVQ wrote: | | i got kicked in the balls by a 7 year old in front of my gf and 5 friends... so there you go. |
You should have retaliated by kicking him hard in the teeth!
We cant have kids growing up thinking it's ok to go around kicking adults in the balls, now can we?
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most!
"Ozzy Osbourne"
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| Posted: Thu, 21st Apr 2005 22:41 Post subject: |
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the day I registered here =)
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Apr 2005 00:14 Post subject: |
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| CobbMk2 wrote: | Too many to mention. But heres one I think will be suitable.
My Xgirlfriend who I was with for 5.5 yrs invites me to hers, after a few months together. I do the whole meeting the family thing (for the first time) and trying to act all civilised.
My X had an identical twin sister, part of the attraction I guess, anyway I'll get to that later.
So we go out to a few clubs and get plastered. Get back to hers and the rooms spinning. Manage to get to sleep just.
Had this wierd dream tho. Dreamt that I was totally naked having a piss on the floor of her house in front of my girl.
So I wake up not thinking anything of my vague dream until her sister enters my room (first time round her house - seperate rooms, don't wanna piss daddy off) and she's got this look on her face.
It turns out that I woke up in the night and walked naked to the end of the hall and instead of turning to the toilet, I lifted the lid to the clothes basket and started pissing - my X's twin was standing next to me watching (scared for her life probably  ) the whole time coz she got woken by me.
Needless to say the family took it well and we had a laugh about it. And my X's twin knew everything about me, kinda like I knew everything about her, hehe |
hahaha
thats some funny shit dude |
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Apr 2005 00:19 Post subject: |
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| CobbMk2 wrote: | Too many to mention. But heres one I think will be suitable.
My Xgirlfriend who I was with for 5.5 yrs invites me to hers, after a few months together. I do the whole meeting the family thing (for the first time) and trying to act all civilised.
My X had an identical twin sister, part of the attraction I guess, anyway I'll get to that later.
So we go out to a few clubs and get plastered. Get back to hers and the rooms spinning. Manage to get to sleep just.
Had this wierd dream tho. Dreamt that I was totally naked having a piss on the floor of her house in front of my girl.
So I wake up not thinking anything of my vague dream until her sister enters my room (first time round her house - seperate rooms, don't wanna piss daddy off) and she's got this look on her face.
It turns out that I woke up in the night and walked naked to the end of the hall and instead of turning to the toilet, I lifted the lid to the clothes basket and started pissing - my X's twin was standing next to me watching (scared for her life probably ) the whole time coz she got woken by me.
Needless to say the family took it well and we had a laugh about it. And my X's twin knew everything about me, kinda like I knew everything about her, hehe |
lol |
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nouseforaname
Über-VIP Member
Posts: 21306
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Apr 2005 04:27 Post subject: |
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| Esel_Gesi wrote: |
- In baseball I gave up 4 home runs on the first 4 pitches of the game and got taken out right away. The knuckle ball wasn't moving enough that day I guess.
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thats just awesome.. cobbmk2 is also a good one. I can relate, just this past new years went out of town and found myself waking up in the parking ramp of the hotel. Was wearing my jammys and we're talking Duluth, MN......it was like 10 below. No room key, no nothin', no idea of where i was. Damn that drunk sleep walking crap.
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hamesy
Posts: 49
Location: England
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| Posted: Fri, 22nd Apr 2005 10:17 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Sun, 24th Apr 2005 09:44 Post subject: |
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| nouseforaname wrote: | I got one .... in my first year of university ...
I'm at a strip club (the Network in Waterloo, ON) with some friends, and of course we've had WAY to much to drink. Anyways, this stripper starts whipping her clothes into the audience ... well .. I snagged her bra, and one of my buds got her hat. He was made to give it back after her dance, but I thought I had pulled a fast one and gotten away with the bra (yeah WTF was I thinking ... some strippers bra?). So we go to leave, and basically in the parking lot I realized that the stripper had told the bouncers (who were two gigantic fat bald bastards) and that they wanted to discuss it with me.
That's where the fun begins. They decided to talk to me with their fists. Those two huge bastards beat me to a pulp. After the beating, they wanted me to pay them for their time. When I had no money on me, they basically took my wallet and gave my bank card to my friends and told them to find a bank machine and bring back $200 if they wanted to see me again. While my friends were gone, they took me into a back room at the club where they told me that if my friends didn't bring back the money ... well ... "they've buried people out back for less". So I'm basically shitting my pants. I know this strip club has ties to bike gangs ... and I'm a little delusional from the beating. My friends came back with $100, saying that's all that was in my account (good call--there was plenty more). So they let me go, warning me not to tell anyone and to never call back.
So I call the cops from down the street, and they send a cruiser to pick me up and they dropped me off at my univ residence. Two days later, the cops calls to say that he had 'sorted' things out, and that the people at the bar had agreed to give me my money back. All I had to do was stop by and get it. Yeah fucking right. So I never went back, and told the cop 'thanks for nothing'.
Moral of the story, don't fuck with strippers. The fucking whores have backup like a motherfucker. |
sounds like a setup to me.
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| Posted: Sun, 24th Apr 2005 12:43 Post subject: |
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A few years ago I took an ex for a expensive meal.
Halfway through she tells me she doesnt want to see me anymore.
I sudenly lost my appetite.
I'm 8 years old on a school trip to Stoke Bruerne.
We're looking at the www.suffolkcam.co.uk/canal_lock1.jpg locks well the bit in the middle that fills up and enables the boat to go to the next level.
The teachers boyfriend decides it would be fun to hold me under the arms and dangle me over the edge. The locks huge, theres a bit of water but its like a 20 foot drop.
Even now (~25 years later) I dont like locks.
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| Posted: Sun, 24th Apr 2005 14:07 Post subject: |
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bahahaha basil 
ummmm i've got a few embarassin moments like 1 time i got bladdered and went to the hospital then a few weeks later i got arrested (both when i was 13) thankfully i didn't get the fire brigade out the next time
Some moments i feel shitty about doing is 1 time me and a few m8s were walking back to my house and my m8 got a "missing kitten" thing. later on about 10pm he got the thing out and they dared me to phone em, so i did and was like ummm yea it's dead and they started crying pretty bad. i felt pretty gutted on that.
another 1 is i got into some1s hotmail account by doing the password retrieval thingy) and they had a play.com account. i went on there ordred loadsa DVd's and sent a password reminder and got them delivered. came to about 600 £ 
I have worse 1's where but they're some of em
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Saner
Posts: 6877
Location: Uk
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| Posted: Sun, 24th Apr 2005 15:24 Post subject: |
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I got toally slaughtered one night, a friend of mine and my then girlfriend (now my wife) decided to do Karayoki (or however the fuck you spell it)
We did Three Lions as it was just after France 98,
anyways, after we finished the place got raided by the police tem minutes later
I have never lived that day down, whenever I visit the owners place (he now owns a diffrent pub) I allways get the shit ripped out of me over that one :Y
| ragnarus wrote: |
I saw things like that in here and in other "woman problems" topics so...... Am I the only one that thinks some authorities needs to be alerted about Saner and him possibly being a rapist and/or kidnapper ? |
Saner is not being serious. Unless its the subject of Santa!
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| Posted: Sun, 24th Apr 2005 15:34 Post subject: |
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u are english right? be funny if u were scottish
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| Posted: Sun, 24th Apr 2005 17:23 Post subject: |
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when i got really drunk on gin. we went to a bar after that and i just started puking everywhere in the bar. then when the owner sees that he gets mad and wants me out so he starts pushing me away and then i puke right on him. so finally i got kicked out (no not beaten up). when i am outside i want to sit down and i sit right in his flowerbench or whatever and it has a small palmtree so that falls down and breaks. the owner sees that pushes me on the street. then a mate offered a ride cause i was unable to walk very far anymore and i puke all over the side of his car. after that i puke in a tent where they put me cause i was a bit sleepy, they figured it wasnt the best idea then so i went to sleep in a building (school hehe) and i was gonna sleep in that building so beeing really drunk i put myslef to sleep right in my own puke on my pillow that was wet from puke.
i tell you, it wasnt fun waking up the next day. we still have laughs about it.
when me and a friend were gonna do a prank on another friend. the other friend went to bathroom (school bathroom) to take a shit and we thought it would be funny to give him a wet shower so we kept on drinking water and spitting it in the cubicle. then after some time a minute or 2 doing that we go out off the bathroom and this dude who we didnt knew comes out all wet and really pissed. when he went indoors to go tell to the principle we were laughing so hard hahaha. not really a not so great moment but it was worth telling
also (in the same toilet as above) i went to take a piss and while im pissing the thing breaks of the wall and breaks in 4 large pieces. i finsihed pssing then on the floor and went out like nothing happened
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| Posted: Mon, 25th Apr 2005 00:18 Post subject: |
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| JeanPerrier wrote: |
also (in the same toilet as above) i went to take a piss and while im pissing the thing breaks of the wall and breaks in 4 large pieces. i finsihed pssing then on the floor and went out like nothing happened |
Hahhahahahahah
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