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MAD_MAX333
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Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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 Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 00:04 Post subject: and it happens again |
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i remember this one guy in my gym... he was HUGE.. he was 248lb of PURE muscle... rock hard.. he always came to the gym and gave it %150... until his 8year gf broke up with him... he lost 55 pounds in 3 months... first day it happened he spend 2 hours in the gym, sitting on the bench press just stareing into the wall... i was thinking, ok wtf, she broke up with you, yah it hurts but suck it up and be a ****ing man.
but now i know how he feels... my gf of 5 years broke up with me... i have a dangerous job which gets me into fights and shit and yah i have got my ass handed to me on a number of occassions, but NOTHING hurts this bad.
i haven't slept in 32 hours... haven't ate in more than a day... the shock just ****ed me up... i cancelled work for the next 3 days since my mind is just not there.
i'm very sorry for the thread, i just don't know who to talk to, i can't really take this shit to my friends, they'll just laugh it off as if its nothing and pretend its a good thing.. meanwhile i'm slowly dying inside... i think there might have been another guy, or just in the beginnings of a "thing"... its killing me... its just dying of a very very slow death.
bah, sorry again...
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 00:07 Post subject: |
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Dude, I know it must hurt, been there before. Only time will make you feel better. Try to keep occupied.
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 02:52 Post subject: |
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No right answer where emotions are concerned I guess....
Although If you read at all, I generally find that great books provide more profound human insight than Oprah style bullshit advice......
That and booze......Booze works for me in most situations come to think of it....heh, weak minded motherfucker that I am......
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 03:35 Post subject: |
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WaldoJ
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Posts: 32678
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 03:38 Post subject: |
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the first 2 weeks are shit stained. after that, grow your ego with some sleazy girl, feel like a man and move on.
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 03:55 Post subject: |
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We can only speculate currently, as he hasnt given any 'details' as such.
troll detected by SiN
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WaldoJ
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 04:01 Post subject: |
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 if you're gonna sit and sulk over some girl that you loved and had this and had that you'll feel trashed and ruined. fuck for do you need that? If everyone sulked over every girl then everyone would be single. You gotta get over her, move on and make yourself feel better in the process.
A girl of 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 10 years leaves you, of course you're gonna feel like shit. you lost a part of yourself. A person you trusted, cared for and had all those wonderful memories with. Yeah it stings. It fucking does. You think you'll never find a girl like that again. Yaddi-Yadda-Emo-Talk. But if you sulk and if you cry about it and feel like shit then the next girl you'll see, you'll compare to your ex. and then the next girl and then the next. Best thing, get your dick wet, know that you're not a complete loser and you can easily find someone new and someone better.
Sulking and feeling like shit is not good for anyone. She left him, she left you, etc etc etc etc.... write a poem about it. is it gonna help you find another girl? no. is it gonna increase your ego by trying to figure out what you've done wrong? no. is it gonna make you feel better if you vent? yeah. But then what? Seriously.
Two weeks to figure out who you are, what you want, and you're done. That's my stance on this. Max is a man, not some highschool kid. he can easily go out, find another girl. It stings right now, cause it's raw and it's a bullshit feeling to have your testicles tied in a knot and then hammered with a hammer. But he's a fucking man. he's not some emo crybaby boy. He'll get over it, and he'll get over it faster than you have kaeye. For fucks sake. You guys make it seem like finding a girl is darn-near impossible. 
Have some confidence. There's none in the first couple days of a concrete breakup with someone you've shared 5 minutes with over the span of 2 or even 5 years. Takes a while to grow back some pubic hair. A week I think. I'm not a scientist.
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 04:19 Post subject: |
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| kaeye wrote: | | We can only speculate currently, as he hasnt given any 'details' as such. |
Why would we speculate and who the fuck are we to even expect them to give such personal details? Sometimes people just need to write stuff down and put it out there for others to talk about and watch from a distance. They get to pick and choose what they wanna listen too.
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WaldoJ
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 05:18 Post subject: |
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| kaeye wrote: | what the hell It took me like 2 months to get over it, I will admit it. I doubt he will get over it any quicker than that. I was out meeting new girls after a month or so, but it didnt help, so I stopped. All you do if you do that is compare the new girls to the ex.
Everyone deals with it in their own way Waldo. I did not emo crybaby either, I cried for aprox 30 mins after the first 2 year breakup and I cried for 10 mins on the 5 year friendship/relationship breakup of recent. Crying is what is normal, it is pathetic to call someone less a man for crying, even if it is over a girl. |
took me months to get over my first ex. and it wasn't worth it (or maybe it was). Then the next next next ex it took me a year even though it should've happened a lot sooner due to the circumstances of that break up. I haven't cried. I know it helps. I know it eases things. But all you really have to do is grow some balls and move on. Seriously. I know that any girl after the girl you thought was the one will be compared one way or another. It's not worth it, cause you'll end up missing out on a lot of girls that are worth your time. You can't help it cause you feel worthless. You feel like shit and is it really worth it? It's not. Best thing to do is to move on. Feel like shit for a while, no more than two weeks, and then give other girls a try. I did that. Of course it didn't work out 'cause of some unresolved issues. But it lasted a second or two or maybe even 3 minutes. It was worth it. It still is worth it. What's not worth it is moping around, feeling like shit and degrading yourself to a point where your confidence is thrown out the window.
It's not calling someone weak for crying over a girl. It's normal. It's natural. But for fucks sake, you can't let it control your life. Max is a good guy. And he's got balls. he can easily find another girl without any problems. 
| Sin317 wrote: | | I win, you lose. Or Go fuck yourself. |
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator
Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 09:21 Post subject: |
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fuck having random sex... that is not me.. i usually have to be in a relationship for that... sorry but my entire life was connected with her and for 5 years... cant just forget it... specially if it is for guy (not sure yet, i see some hints). i don't do drugs, and i RARELY drink any alcohol...
i'm getting into shit when i come back to work since i am missing work without proper reason. i tried explaining how it is not smart for me to be in the road when i'm sleep deprieved (for driving) and my mind is not there (for rules of engagement and proper use of force) but they didn't care.
i called her last morning... we decided to give it a shot again... i was suppose to go see her at night... come afternoon and again she is not answering her phone while i am just sitting there waiting and missing work... this is fucked. i think i might go see her before she leaves for work.
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 10:35 Post subject: |
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No amount of talking will provide any relief, I don't think you should bother. Time is the only cure. I usually go with the estimate: However long you were with her, it will take the same amount of time away from her to get past.
For now re-focus and take care of yourself.
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator
Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 13:02 Post subject: |
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| KrAzY-KaMeL wrote: | No amount of talking will provide any relief, I don't think you should bother. Time is the only cure. I usually go with the estimate: However long you were with her, it will take the same amount of time away from her to get past.
For now re-focus and take care of yourself. |
5 years to get over her? man... i can't last that long lol
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 13:48 Post subject: |
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whoops, got longer than i thought, wall of text coming up, kinda...
damn. every break up sucks (well, at least if you're a living human being capable of emotions - not like some of those wannabe players who are completely unaware of something like a emotional connection to a human other than themselves.... *grumble* /rant)
eeh, sorry. where was i?
if you're anything like me (seeing as that really fucks over your live ie. work etc. that's something i can relate to) no amount of talking will help.
i mean, i've been with my ex for about 2 years, broke up with me last november (go ahead, the thread should still be in the bitching session somewhere ^^)
found a new girl, been with her since february and i'm good.
but (there's always a but, isn't there?) my ex still fucks with my head sometimes.
by now we're friends (seeing as she got dumped by her boyfriend three months ago, really helped me  ) but sometimes she's still in my head (then i usually go on a "what could have been" trip) which is completly unfair to my girlfriend, i know that, it's not like i choose those "trips". i love my girlfriend, i don't question that.
well, what i wanted to say, i think, is, that you will get over her, no doubt about it, you will find new love but it might take you a while to get her out of your head completly. (and for some people they never managed to do that)
but then again, my ramblings of a semi-madman never helped anybody anyway 
oh, and you might want consider therapy and/or (preferably and) anti-depressants
if it keeps interferring with your work and your day-to-day schedule for weeks, you should think about seeking help, i know i did, and it helped a lot... being depressive is no fun (just some friendly advice from somebody who's been there, done that...)
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Cohen
Posts: 7155
Location: Rapture
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 14:14 Post subject: |
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fuck drugs.. they dont do shit but offer a placebo. I highly recommend you just confide in friends and take time to enjoy yourself as much as possible to put her in the back of your mind. Dont go down the meds route.
troll detected by SiN
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 14:29 Post subject: |
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i'm not saying "go ahead and pop some pills" (even though i have to admit it sounded like that... not my intention)
but if a therapist thinks it helps...
and btw. you know that depressions aren't only some psychic thingie?
there are neurobiological factors - things you can't put straight easily without medical treatment.
that's the one misconception about depressions most people have.
so anti-depressant offer more than a placebo effect.
i'm not saying he's suffering from depressions but the point is if you do it takes you a whole freaking while to realize and when you do you're most likely so far down you won't get yourself out there without help
but i agree with you, kaeye, you gotta get out there and do stuff and lord knows it doesn't matter a whole lot what you do, but if that don't work, one shouldn't be to proud or stubborn to go seek help.
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 15:02 Post subject: |
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You need to greafe (spelling) thats a very important part of getting over someone, but try and get out as soon as possible. If not to hit on chicks then atleast go out with your friends and have some fun. Sitting at home thinking what went wrong is the worse thing you could do.
Its over, give it some time then just move on.
I know its hard but you have to do it.
Dont mess with God, he can impregnate your girlfriend/wife without taking his pants off!
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 15:17 Post subject: |
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Max, you must concentrate on your job period. DO IT.. without your work and income, you are going to slide down a bigger pit of shit.. Train your brain to focus on aspects that need attention right now, just like how you would keep ones pc file in order..
Many people that have been in your position will for sure tell you that when looking back, if they fucked up on a self pitty trip, they would of done things different a second time around, because well you could just end up with nothing totaly. Your job wont run off with another man..Listen to good advice now just like when you were young and wouldnt listen to your parents lol, but later thought shit they were right all along. 
Chin up.
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator
Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 20:30 Post subject: |
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i will return to work sunday... i have been a mess for now... i have had maybe 400 calories in me in the last 3 days... where as i use to take in 4500 a day... i have slept maybe 5 hours... my hands shake from exhustion, i wanna sleep SO bad... BUT when the tv is off and i am not randomly browsing the web or playing game, the memories and shit return... specially when i am sleeping and it is just me and my thoughts... it is like my body wants to pass out but my mind will not let go. i can't describe the feeling.
i went to her house today cause she wouldn't pick up the phone.. gave her a letter i wrote about all this shit... she told me to never call her again, and she said she needs time to think... i said ok no more calls but i can't wait forever, she said she doesn't know how long it will take, maybe weeks, maybe months...
that is fucked, i can wait for her if i knew she would come back to me.. BUt if she dates or does anything else during this "break" period, then it is over. sorry but i dont believe in "breaks"" where you date other people to test waters.
as for anti depression pills... fuck that, i don't need that.. although i do consider drinking acid to wipe the memories off (kidding don't call the OPP )
thank the fucking lord my court for tomorrow is cancelled... i can't stand sitting in a quite room with nothing to do but think.
so far, the ONLY things that help are games, a bit of movies although i drift off and when i go out with friends a bit...
this waiting for her game is hard though... its like, having a 40 to 60 percent chance of getting her back, but most likely i won't but i am getting my hopes up seriously... this way i can't and won't delete the pictures and stuff... i have moved them around so i don't see it but everything around me is connected to her.
bah sorry for the rants.
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator
Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 20:40 Post subject: |
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| moosenoodles wrote: | Max, you must concentrate on your job period. DO IT.. without your work and income, you are going to slide down a bigger pit of shit.. Train your brain to focus on aspects that need attention right now, just like how you would keep ones pc file in order..
Many people that have been in your position will for sure tell you that when looking back, if they fucked up on a self pitty trip, they would of done things different a second time around, because well you could just end up with nothing totaly. Your job wont run off with another man..Listen to good advice now just like when you were young and wouldnt listen to your parents lol, but later thought shit they were right all along.
Chin up. |
see i know you are right and i know the second time might be different, but this is the first time not the second.
my first "relationship" ( i don't consider dating a few weeks a relationship) was for 7 months... i caught her cheating with a friend of hers in a bar we went to sometimes... lol i walk in and here they are making out... before i could open my mouth his friends have broken two bottles over my head and i am laying down on the sidewalk with blood coming out the back of my head...
now, THAT did not hurt me, i had a physical pain for a day or two, but nothing emotional beacause i did not love her... this time its different.
the biggest shocker is that this is out of the blue. in 5 years we have NEVER had a "fight" where we scream at each other or one person doesn't call for days and shit. we never took a break and only had little arguements. she was like always up until saturday morning, then she went all crazy on me for issues that she apparently kept inside all this time and put on a happy face. that is decieving since how can i know there are serious complications if i dont see random fights and arguements leading to a breakup?
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 21:20 Post subject: |
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because women want you to read between the lines? or something like that.
maybe she's trying to put the blame on you - who knows, maybe she doesn't even know herself. maybe she'll tell you, maybe not.
too bad there's no universal answers for stuff like that
there's not much you can do about that, just go on live a life...
damn that sounds sad...
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MAD_MAX333
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Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 21:45 Post subject: |
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yah i got the feeling that she wanted a break and was looking for an excuse... probably met someone who could devote more time to her... encourage her getting drunk every wee kand be ok with her doing weed.
sigh
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Karmeck
Posts: 3348
Location: Sweden
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 21:59 Post subject: |
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Don't she have like friends that you both know that you can ask what is going on.
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nouseforaname
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Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Thu, 11th Sep 2008 23:02 Post subject: |
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I advise you take some time off of work and try to sort your feelings out. With your line of work its very dangerous to be feeling that way and you honestly sound borderline suicidal.
There's no quick fix for this pain all you can do is the natural healing cycle. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance you will go through them. Just please don't do anything drastic in the meantime.
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