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Frant
King's Bounty
Posts: 24636
Location: Your Mom
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 Posted: Sun, 5th Apr 2009 22:43 Post subject: 20 stupid questions by tourists |
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1. "Are there any lakes in the Lake District?"
2. "In what month is the May Day demonstration?"
3. "What is the entry fee for Brighton?"
4. "Why on earth did they build Windsor Castle on the flight path of Heathrow?"
5. "Is this where Sharon and Ozzie actually live?"
Asked a visitor to Osborne House, Isle of Wight
6. "Is Wales closed during the winter?"
7. "Can you tell me who performs at the circus in Piccadilly?"
8. "Why did they build so many ruined castles and abbeys in England?"
Asked a tourist at Whitby Abbey, North Yorkshire
9. "What time do you switch the mist off?"
Asked a visitor to Dover Castle and the Secret Wartime Tunnels, in Kent
10. "Do you have any information on (former Page 3 girl) Samantha Fox?"
11. "Which bus do I get from the Orkney Islands to the Shetland Islands?"
12. "What time of night does the Loch Ness monster surface and who feeds it?"
13. "Is Edinburgh in Glasgow?"
14. "Can I wear high heels in Australia?"
15. "Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?"
16. "I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?"
17. "Which direction is North in Australia?"
18. "Was this man-made?"
Asked a tourist at the Grand Canyon National Park
19. "How much of the caves is underground?"
Asked a tourist at the Carlsbad Caverns National Park
20. "Do you know of any undiscovered ruins?"
Asked a tourist at the Mesa Verde National Park
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
"The sky was the color of a TV tuned to a dead station" - Neuromancer
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| Posted: Sun, 5th Apr 2009 23:31 Post subject: |
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| Quote: | These questions were answered by the owner of a South African tourism website. It's a humorous take on some of the more bizzare questions asked by foreigners about South Africa...
Q: Does it ever get rainy in South Africa ? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Durban to Cape Town - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only two thousand kilometers. Take lots of water...
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in South Africa? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in South Africa ? Can you send me a List of them in JHB, Cape Town , Knysna and Jeffrey's Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q: Can you give me some information about Koala Bear racing in South Africa? (USA)
A: Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the pacific. A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe which does not.... Oh forget it. Sure, the Koala Bear racing is every Tuesday night in Hillbrow. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is north in South Africa? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Do you have perfume in South Africa? (France)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in South Africa where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in South Africa? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q: Are there killer bees in South Africa? (Germany)
A: Not yet, but for you, I'll import them with the plants...
Q: Are there supermarkets in Cape Town and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegetarian hunter-gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in South Africa who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca, which is where YOU come from. All South African snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q: I was in South Africa in 1969, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Hillbrow. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
Q: Will I be able to speek English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first. |
Seems as if some were taken and change.. who knows which are the real ones :/ I find this ones funnier 
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