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repo1
Banned
Posts: 546
Location: Mein Komput0r
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 Posted: Tue, 15th Jan 2008 15:48 Post subject: |
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Best. Thread. Ever.
I have the exact same problem btw... the paper clogging method is my usual... or moving a little more forward so the turd hits the sloped part of the toilet bowl.
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nouseforaname
Über-VIP Member
Posts: 21306
Location: Toronto, Canada
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Bigperm
Posts: 1908
Location: Alberta,Canada
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| Posted: Tue, 15th Jan 2008 17:04 Post subject: |
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Get a water saving toilet. Most of them are push button ones from Australia, very low water level, zero splash back i have found. I have these in my house and they work great.
And wtf, don't ever let your dick touch the toilet bowl, your just asking for bacteria and such.
| Jenni wrote: | | I drunk. I don't fucking care! |
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PrideLess
Posts: 668
Location: 01 E4 2B 36 0E 1A EB 03 28 4C FF C7 11 A0 E7
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| Posted: Tue, 15th Jan 2008 21:45 Post subject: |
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Best way to avoid splashback in public restrooms is to just use the sink, just stand with your ass facing the sink, rise your heels a bit and take a dump in that, the cleaning ladies will usually clean up after you, in bars and shit when I am lazy I also use the sink for peeing, its no biggie.
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| Posted: Wed, 16th Jan 2008 02:59 Post subject: |
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Use your hands and gently grasp the shit and gently let it slip into the cold water at the bottom! Then gently lick your hand(s?) clean and proceed to look at your creation! (Be gentle you don't want finger marks in it.)
Cheers!
Squirrely: Now come on y'all. We can't waste time arguing. There could still be survivors out there. We need to hunt them down, and kill them.
Beary: How about we kill them, and then rape their bodies so we can use their blood as lubricant.
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| Posted: Wed, 16th Jan 2008 18:36 Post subject: |
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| Unauthorized wrote: | Use your hands and gently grasp the shit and gently let it slip into the cold water at the bottom! Then gently lick your hand(s?) clean and proceed to look at your creation! (Be gentle you don't want finger marks in it.)
Cheers! |
It seems like its extremely important to be gentle.... is there a chance of anal rupture?
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| Posted: Wed, 16th Jan 2008 19:49 Post subject: |
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Once I ate a very rough piece of meat, and a whole lotta fish and other crap during the day and all of a sudden later on in the day I felt this incredible urge to take a shitter, like if you don't go in 10sec it will pop out. So I went and took a dump, or atleast I tried to cuz when I sat my ass down and tried to crap this thing was so wide it took me a full 3minutes to open up my asshole far enough to allow the humongous turd to plop out. I am sure many of you have had this, its like the middle part is the widest and once you reach that event horizon the pushing afterwards just goes like plop and its out, man does that feel good:)
Whats also fun is eating alot of onion, garlic, shoarma and other smelly foods and then just take a dump in a busy restroom, so the entire place stinks like someone died, then just watch the happy faces coming out of the toilet:) Or whats also fun, and this can be done multiple times cuz you can only crap once in a few hours, is to drink atleast 2-3 litres of water, but with it also eat something that makes your piss yellow, then just pee all over the toilet, when you finished with one toilet go to the next one and desecrate that as well, with 2-3 litres in your body you can usually do a dozen restrooms(works best if you work in a big company, but just don't do it on your own floor).
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nouseforaname
Über-VIP Member
Posts: 21306
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Wed, 16th Jan 2008 21:10 Post subject: |
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Ok Pfiemelcheese that was probably the nastiest thing I've ever read. And to piss all over the toilet... kinda' sick, don't ya think?
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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| Posted: Wed, 16th Jan 2008 22:01 Post subject: |
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Nah its not sick considering you'r actually ensuring job security for certain employee's(cleaningladies), and yeah I find it funny as hell cuz just imagine the face of a guy who just ate a big hamburger and needs to take a dump badly just to find out his entire floor has been given the yellow stain treatment:ROFL: If I was in a really really funny mood I'd also steal or flush down all the toiletpaper so he can't clean up the mess, yeah baby go sit in that nasty shit hehehehe. Did this once and just lingered in the hallway waiting for my first unsuspecting victim, after the 4th went in finally there was one that needed to take a shit, I knew cuz he stayed in too long, so I went in the toilet after him and I heard him calling the reception hhahaha he probably hovered his arse over the toilet whilst taking a dump and the retard failed to check the availability of toiletpaper, that shit just made my day(pun intended).
PS : If I really was a nasty fucker, I'd also do this in the ladies toilets but I like the ladies too much.
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_SiN_
Megatron
Posts: 12108
Location: Cybertron
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| Posted: Wed, 16th Jan 2008 22:52 Post subject: |
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Wow.. nice to see you´re doing something good with your free time..
Watercooled 5950X | AORUS Master X570 | Asus RTX 3090 TUF Gaming OC | 64Gb RAM | 1Tb 970 Evo Plus + 2Tb 660p | etc etc
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| Posted: Wed, 16th Jan 2008 23:20 Post subject: |
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what
cockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcockcock
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deelix
PDIP Member
Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Thu, 17th Jan 2008 00:34 Post subject: |
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what a lame ass thread
get proper shitter and stop using pubic facilities
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deelix
PDIP Member
Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Thu, 17th Jan 2008 12:43 Post subject: |
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yeah ,but when you gotta go...
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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deelix
PDIP Member
Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Thu, 17th Jan 2008 13:02 Post subject: |
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| dingo_d wrote: | | yeah ,but when you gotta go... |
..you find some bushes...
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| Posted: Thu, 17th Jan 2008 13:31 Post subject: |
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Horrordee
Soderator
Posts: 8867
Location: England
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| Posted: Thu, 17th Jan 2008 14:12 Post subject: |
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i dry my ass off afterwards so who cares if it gets wet with pee pee
Space for rent. Contact me for rates!
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| Posted: Thu, 17th Jan 2008 14:18 Post subject: |
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And you will find bushes in town where?? And you'll wipe your ass with what? Leaves? Man you're hilarious 
"Quantum mechanics is actually, contrary to it's reputation, unbeliveably simple, once you take the physics out."
Scott Aaronson | chiv wrote: | | thats true you know. newton didnt discover gravity. the apple told him about it, and then he killed it. the core was never found. |
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deelix
PDIP Member
Posts: 32062
Location: Norway
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Ankh
Posts: 23342
Location: Trelleborg
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| Posted: Thu, 17th Jan 2008 14:25 Post subject: |
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| Horrordee wrote: | | i dry my ass off afterwards so who cares if it gets wet with pee pee |
Dry??? Never tried that...I kind of like the crispy sound my arse make when I sit down..
shitloads of new stuff in my pc. Cant keep track of it all.
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| Posted: Thu, 17th Jan 2008 16:51 Post subject: |
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| radge2 wrote: | | turds rofl! |
radge2 rofl!
Did radge1 get banned? Is this ban evasion? Better ban him from the IRC channel too and he'll lose interest in NFOrce and go away. |
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| Posted: Thu, 17th Jan 2008 17:40 Post subject: |
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no one answered the standing or sitting question. I personally stand. I don't like the thought of my hand getting close to the turds or possibly splunking in teh water. also your forced to whipe shit torwards your balls and the only other solution is lean all the way to the side which is a pain to balance and not enough arm room to whipe back.
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