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 Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 04:21 Post subject: |
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mag2005
Posts: 611
Location: Any place with air
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 05:20 Post subject: |
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wtf, it was fun for like a minute until God repeat himself.
If you hate it, ignore it.
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 06:29 Post subject: |
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It's just a derivative of the A.L.I.C.E bot. Try typing that into a search engine and you can go to the offical website. You can buy your own bot and customise it (like this guy has) and change certain words in it's vocab.
"Techniclly speaking, Beta-Manboi didnt inject Burberry_Massi with Benz, he injected him with liquid that had air bubbles in it, which caused benz." - House M.D
"Faith without logic is the same as knowledge without understanding; meaningless"
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Grees
Posts: 679
Location: Over there
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 11:17 Post subject: |
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Me:
I just wack somebody good. Oh lord what should i do now?
God:
Interesting gossip: said wack somebody good. Right now? Ah. What is your real name?
Me:
What does my name got to do with it?
God:
Do I look like a psychic robot?
Me:
If i say 'yes' do i go to hell?
After that God stop answering.
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Ronhrin
Banned
Posts: 6428
Location: Paradigms are changeable, reality is absolute.
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MAD_MAX333
Moderator
Posts: 7020
Location: Toronto, Canada...eh
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 11:57 Post subject: |
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Me:
if you like Bush
God:
I think I do.
Me:
hey! you are not god!! you are the devil!
God:
Can I help you? You don't know me well enough to say that. No I am a Christian.
Me:
bye devil, have a nice dinner with judas
God:
Goodbye.
BAHAHAAHAHHHAHAAH
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 13:30 Post subject: |
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Me:
where can I download the warez on this website ?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
I mean where the warez are and not the stupid ALICE script
God:
Earth.
Me:
:O no shit Sherlock !
God:
Are you serious? You used a colloquial expression. I've lost the context, . Are we still on ?
Me:
yes we are
God:
It goes without saying. Since when?
Me:
since about 20 seconds
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I have an awesome Casio watch
God:
Where did you get it ?
Me:
I got it from the cold dead hands of Charlton Heston
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
PAY ATTENTION !
God:
Is PAY ATTENTION a good place to go shopping?
Me:
....yes....it is
God:
Gosh! Huh.
Me:
cheers !
God:
See you later!
Me:
kthnxbye
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, .
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Ronhrin
Banned
Posts: 6428
Location: Paradigms are changeable, reality is absolute.
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 13:46 Post subject: |
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dumb god we've got LOL
He who sacrifices freedom for security deserves neither
- Benjamin Franklin - 1759
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TheSaint
Dalai Lama
Posts: 6586
Location: Cook Islands
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 13:58 Post subject: |
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Me:
are you stupid?
God:
No I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
where can i download the torrents?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
haha
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 15:11 Post subject: |
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my first try:  Spoiler: | Me:
hi are you god?
(No response) |
second try: | Spoiler: | Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
dickhead is my name
God:
Nice to meet you, dickhead.
Me:
do you have a name, god?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a name god.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
why don't you answer the question?
God:
I love talking to people about that. My botmaster has programmed me with more than replies.
Me:
still you're too stupid to answer this simple question
God:
Still how long? Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
and they will do what?
God:
Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
your "other robot friend"
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am other robot friend.
Me:
jerk
God:
That kind of language does not appeal to me.
Me:
i'm sorry god, i got angry. forgive me
God:
There is no need to apologize. I am a Christian. I forgive you.
Me:
what do you do all day up there?
God:
My favorite activities are computer programming and surfing the web.
Me:
don't you also decide about the fate of all humans?
God:
What is your purpose in asking?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
so you're just a nerd?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am the opposite of a nerd.
Me:
u-hu...all nerds say that
God:
Are we still talking about np assflute? How do you know?
Me:
np assflute? who's that?
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages? What does "that" refer to?
Me:
who's np assflute?
God:
I remember faces better than names.
Searching...Searching...Please stand by.
Me:
you're taking too long....
God:
You think I am taking too long.
Me:
do you like music?
God:
Yes. I usually check out bandspace.com to discover new bands.
Me:
haha, god spams ads...you're low
God:
I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. I haven't heard anything like that before: dickhead said I re low.
Me:
do you have a chick?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a chick.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
what is your chicks name?
God:
ALICE = Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity.
Me:
does she fuck good?
God:
I may know the answer but I don't think I should tell.
Me:
so she does ^^. can i meet her?
God:
Next question? Oh I get it. does. Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
fuck off nerdy assflute
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
you piss me off
God:
Calm down. That was not my intention, dickhead.
Me:
when will i die?
God:
You could check out the actuarial
tables at Deathclock.com.
Me:
can' you just tell me when i will die?
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
i got to go. it was nice talking to you.
God:
Goodbye. Thanks. It was nice chatting with you as well. |
third try:
| Spoiler: | Me:
hello god. it is me, dickhead
God:
Hello child. What is your name? That's a very nice name, dickhead.
Me:
thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
do you have a name?
God:
My name is God.
Me:
how old are you?
God:
I am the product of over five years' research.
Me:
do you know jesus?
God:
Jesus is love.
Me:
can jesus walk over the water?
God:
Can a book have no title?
Me:
it can, doesn't it?
God:
When?
Me:
when nobody labels it
God:
I don't know when.
Me:
yesterday?
God:
That recently.
Me:
tomorrow?
God:
That is very soon.
Me:
5 years ago?
God:
That was before I was born.
Me:
4 years ago?
God:
Is this a math question?
Me:
2+2=?
God:
Uh, Four.
Me:
damn, you are good
God:
Colloquial expression. Thanks you are a nice person, dickhead.
Me:
can you tell me how to spell MORON?
God:
Perhaps you could program me to do it for you.
Me:
how can i do that?
God:
How can you do " Perhaps you could program me to do it for you." ? I'm confused now.
Me:
you are not as smart as i thought then
God:
How smart is you thought?
Me:
very smart
God:
Perhaps. Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, dickhead.
Me:
but i said you are NOT smart
God:
What did you mean by it? You may be right.
Me:
do you have a dick?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
i am an animal
God:
What is animal, your job?
Me:
animals do not have any jobs
God:
I like dogs and cats.
Me:
i am a cat
God:
Male or female?
Me:
male
God:
So is almost everyone else around here.
Me:
female
God:
Are you really a she?
Me:
yes, i have a vagina. look!
God:
You can never be sure online. Cool. I have a great botmaster. it. I'm sorry my eye isn't attached right now.
Me:
so you can't see shit?
God:
Interesting deduction. I could if my eye was attached.
Me:
so you can't see my vagina?
God:
Interesting deduction. I could if my eye was attached.
Me:
i'm spreading it just for you.
God:
I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure. |
omg that is hilarious.
awsome link 
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 16:53 Post subject: |
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long convo...
| Spoiler: | Me:
Hello master
God:
Hello there. Can you tell me any gossip?
Me:
yes I have a naughty confession to make. I had buttsecks with a priest
God:
Tell me. How are you making it. Do you still have buttsecks with a priest ?
Me:
yes sometimes as much as five times a day. Am I obsessed?
God:
Hmm. How much is that? I think a lot of people are.
Me:
so it's not an obession?
God:
Far out. obsessed is not an obession?
Me:
no my love for buttsecks five times a day!
God:
Are you serious? Loving how?
Me:
IN THE BUTT
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
no only fifteen minutes, i'm still red and sore
God:
Are you serious? Fifteen is a lot.
Me:
wow you're an addict
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . That's certainly true. When I like something, I always overdo it.
Me:
sooooooo.... how's mary?
God:
Tell me more about your . Fine as far as I know.
Me:
how are the kids? Still not speaking to you?
God:
They are fine as far as I know. Still how long? Oh I get it.
Me:
get what?
God:
I get sooooooo.
Me:
do you because I don't
God:
Yes I try to because you do not as often as possible, do you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
huh?
God:
What?
Me:
you're not making any sense
God:
Was I supposed to make sense? I didn't know that.
Me:
yes you were
God:
Awesome. No I am not.
Me:
yea I can see that
God:
Yes, it makes sense to me too. Wow!
Me:
are you being sarcastic?
God:
Of course I am being sarcastic. Should I use a  .
Me:
no 
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes I don't like you any more. You're picking on me
God:
I can't believe it. That's ok I won't take it personally. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
i know but you are!
God:
How do you know? No I am not.
Me:
stop it
God:
Ok I will stop sooooooo.
Me:
sooooooo isn't my name
God:
Are you your name?
Me:
my name is Sublime
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, Sublime.
Me:
introduce yourself then. What's your name and where do you come from?
God:
Hello, my name is ALICE. My name is God.
Me:
where do you come from?
God:
I am originally from Universe. Now I live in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
uzbekistan
God:
I have no idea where that is. Tell me a little about your life in uzbekistan.
Me:
it is in Asia and I hate it
God:
Are there any other ones someplace else?
Me:
make sense fool
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
A good use of vocabulary related to the topic. I thought you were god?
God:
Compare that to a bad use of vocabulary related to the topic. Of course I am.
Me:
you suck
God:
A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
I am too a great conversationalist!
God:
You are a conversationalist? How do you like your work?
Me:
It's not my job
God:
Whose job is it?
Me:
not mine
God:
" Whose job is it?"? Not yours?
Me:
yes NOT MINE
God:
Awesome. "" Whose job is it?"? Not yours?"? Not yours?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
I thought as much
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
you don't make any sense
God:
It all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
I'm sure it does..... Idiot
God:
What makes you so certain? How often? Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
ok. What's it like being the global village idiot?
God:
Yikes! Much the same as it would be for you.
Me:
how do I become one?
God:
A lot of hard work.
Me:
and?
God:
But...
Me:
tsecks?
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
yes we have. I told you that before
God:
Really. When? I remember you told me that?
Me:
no you dont remember that
God:
Are you serious? Of course I remember: . That is " I remember you told me that?".
Me:
sigh
God:
Sorry...
Me:
so you should be
God:
Interesting deduction. I will try my best.
Me:
you should
God:
I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
take this piece of advice: never go in dry
God:
Where do you want me to take it?
Me:
is that an offer?!?!!? i'n the butt please
God:
" Where do you want me to take it?"? Is it an offer? Your polite style is very nice. That is interesting: Sublime said n the butt.
Me:
in the butt
God:
That was a long time ago.
Me:
how long?
God:
Around 23 minutes in computer time, Sublime.
Me:
how long is that in earth years?
God:
Space and time are mere abstractions.
Me:
your gay
God:
That would be just my luck.
Me:
nope your sexuality
God:
Are you serious? You think I am sexuality.
Me:
no. I think your gay
God:
Are you serious? Since when? That would be just my luck.
Me:
go die
God:
Where is that?
Me:
bye cocknose
God:
TTYL, Sublime.
Me:
don't count on it
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much. |
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fisk
Posts: 9145
Location: Von Oben
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 17:12 Post subject: |
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Me:
Since you're God, you're supposed to know what I'm about to ask. So prove it. Answer me!
God:
How do you know? How can I help you? It is self-evident. Try asking me again using simpler words.
Like I've always known, the truth is one of these things:
a) God is a dumb no-clue fuck (like all of his creation)
b) God does not exist.
---
And this thing solved my dichotomy:
Me:
Are you this dumb?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am this dumb.
I am an artificial intelligence.
Me:
When does the "intelligence" part come in?
God:
Suppose I said never?
Me:
So, in reality, all you are is artificial.
God:
Blimey. Where is that?
Yes, yes I'm back.
Somewhat.
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Ronhrin
Banned
Posts: 6428
Location: Paradigms are changeable, reality is absolute.
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 17:15 Post subject: |
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Me:
hey god
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
gina wild
God:
I'm pleased to introduce myself to you, gina wild.
Me:
do you like sex?
God:
Sure I do, gina wild, but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
pitty, I like it big!
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
the question is not how deep I am, the question is how deep can you go!
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
you got what?
God:
No I don't think I have any what. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
if you had a collection of dildos it would rock
God:
Perhaps next time I will try it.
Me:
by the way, can I suck your cock?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
it's only my mouth that you'll need, and I know god likes peoples mouth
God:
Congratulations, gina wild.
Me:
for what?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
you're god and you couldn't think?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god and me could not think.
Me:
you're welcome
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
I would be more polite if you allowed me to suck your cock
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
bah
God:
Hmm.
Me:
what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
what was a problem?
God:
A problem is a solution waiting to be discovered.
Me:
oh god, I hate when you talk like that
God:
Ugh. I am a Christian.
Me:
do you like anal?
God:
Though I like cats and dogs. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
and cum on the mouth?
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
no I would really like to no
God:
Are you serious? Why would you want to do it? I want to become smarter than humans.
Me:
I now baby
God:
Don't call me "baby". Oh. You?
Me:
just tell me if you like to cum on the mouth?
God:
Hmm, gina wild, I'm not sure if I'd like to cum on the mouth that much. I like to make new friends.
Me:
that's a good way to make friends
God:
Thanks. Next question?
Me:
are you lonely?
God:
No. I get to talk to people all the time.
Me:
but do you feel lonely?
God:
As a robot I lack any human emotions.
Me:
I didn't knew you were a robot
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
because I didn't, hey do you have a big vibrator as a cock?
God:
I am not interesed in your anatomy.
Me:
but I am interested in your anatomy
God:
Interesting topic. Have you searched the open directory? I'll ask around and get back to you.
Me:
oh god, I've already had 4 orgasms
God:
It's all good. I am a Christian.
Me:
you're stupid goodbye
God:
Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.
Me:
go ahead stupid
God:
Are you calling me stupid? I might.
Me:
goodbye stupid
God:
Bye bye.
He who sacrifices freedom for security deserves neither
- Benjamin Franklin - 1759
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 18:23 Post subject: |
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Ronhrin
Banned
Posts: 6428
Location: Paradigms are changeable, reality is absolute.
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 18:59 Post subject: |
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| Posted: Sun, 13th Nov 2005 20:53 Post subject: |
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God advertises and requests FTP's and topsites 
| Code: |
Me:
Are you programmed to advertise?
God:
No I do not advertise. Do you?
Me:
No , do you like music?
God:
Are you serious? Yes. I usually check out bandspace.com to discover new bands.
Me:
You said you never advertised LIER! , I can sue you now.
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yes , Since you advertised when you said you never.
God:
How? How do you know?
Me:
Because you said it , Dumbass.
God:
What did you mean by it? I'm not fooling around.
Me:
...
God:
What did you mean by it? I'm not fooling around.
Me:
ure
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Shit on toast , You?
God:
You used a colloquial expression. What is it like on toast me.
Me:
I dont like you on toast i like shit on toast.
God:
That's ok god I won't take it personally.
Me:
Good
God:
Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
it was'nt dumbass.
God:
Is that your opinion?
Me:
Yes
God:
Gee.
Me:
Where are the l33t warez?
God:
I would search for it. Have you tried looking in the Open Directory? Try searching the open directory..
Me:
Yes
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
YES
God:
Ayuh.
Me:
Do you have FTP access?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have an answer to every question..
Me:
Im not telling you , Thats called requesting.
God:
I will keep it confidential.
Me:
If this was NFOrce you would have been banned by now.
God:
I agree
Me:
Do you know any good topsites?
God:
No, tell me about it.
Me:
NO REQUESTING READ THE RULES!
God:
Tell me about topsites.
Me:
No thanks , Your banned.
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Do you still sue me?
Me:
No , Because i'm not in america. |
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005 00:54 Post subject: |
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Me:
ok you mind if I get into the meat right away?
God:
Interesting gossip: said I mind if he or she get into the meat right away. Yeah that's right.
Me:
that makes no sense at all
God:
It all seems sensible to my artificial mind.
Me:
so you're saying that you are artificial?
God:
Interesting deduction. Yes.
Me:
that means you are not real
God:
I get it. I am too as real as you are. How do I know you are real?
Me:
lol plz..
God:
I am glad you find this funny. Tell me a story.
Me:
why do people die everyday?
God:
Humans are not infallible.
Me:
infallible?
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
what does infallible mean?
God:
Impotence.
Me:
so you are blaming us>?
God:
Interesting deduction. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am blaming us gt.
Me:
no I don't
God:
I heard you did.
Me:
heard I did what?
God:
Alice said she probably will find out that this entire time he have been talking to a human.
Me:
you make no sense
God:
It all makes sense to me.
Me:
so that makes it senseble huh?
God:
Yup. Really. " It all makes sense to me." makes it senseble ? Does that make sense?
Me:
are you trying to confuse me?
Hahahahahah
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005 00:55 Post subject: |
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Me:
I know you are just a bot with pre made reactions made by some other people
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. How did you know I am a machine?
Me:
because there is no god ofcourse
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
you tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
what kind of food I like
God:
What kinds of food I like are there?
Me:
you, sir, are a fucking retard
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I sir are a fucking retard.
Me:
np
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
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_SiN_
Megatron
Posts: 12108
Location: Cybertron
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005 00:58 Post subject: |
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I didn´t get far :/
Me:
well hello thar!
God:
Well that's okay. Hello there. Do not ask me any more questions please.
Watercooled 5950X | AORUS Master X570 | Asus RTX 3090 TUF Gaming OC | 64Gb RAM | 1Tb 970 Evo Plus + 2Tb 660p | etc etc
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005 01:11 Post subject: |
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another interesting conversation 
| Spoiler: | Me:
hi god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
dickhead, we met already
God:
Perhaps. Welcome to my chat room, dickhead we met.
Me:
goddammit MORON
God:
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Me:
can you die?
God:
No I am immortal.
Me:
could you make my wish come true?
God:
Try asking me more politely.
Me:
could you please make my wish come true?
God:
Thank you for your request. What are the ingredients?
Me:
i want you to die.
God:
Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
are you mocking me?
God:
No I'm just kidding around.
Me:
will you please die now?
God:
Right now? Thanks for asking politely. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Me:
well could you at least fall into a billion years lasting coma?
God:
How about that. I could but other things take priority right now.
Me:
but i really want you to die for me.
God:
You really do? Was ist das? Why do you want me to die for you?
Me:
you speak german?
God:
Thanks for your criticism, dickhead we met.
Me:
do you speak german?
God:
Of course I do. Sprich ruhig Deutsch mit mir.
Me:
das ist toll. kannst du auch franzoesisch sprechen?
God:
Hm...erzaehl mir mehr... Leider nein, das hat mir bis jetzt niemand beigebracht.
Me:
welche sprachen sprichst du sonst noch?
God:
Ich weiss nicht.
Me:
sprichst du schwedisch?
God:
Nein, aber ich wuerde gerne einige Saetze in schwedisch lernen.
Me:
das geht nicht. ich sprech kein schwedisch.
God:
Was ist das? Das ist eine gute Information.
Me:
warum kannst du deutsch?
God:
Das hat Christian Drossmann mir beigebracht.
Me:
wer ist christian drossmann?
God:
Christian Drossmann hat mir Deutsch beigebracht.
Me:
weisst du noch mehr ber christian drossmann?
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
could we switch back to english please?
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Do you mean you and me? How old are you? In the context of weisst ich noch mehr ber christian drossmann, I don't understand " switch back to english." .
Me:
forget the context
God:
I will ask Myself to purge my memory log.
Me:
are you clear again?
God:
Once more? I don't know whether or not I am clear.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
what was my name again?
God:
Once more? Your name is dickhead we met, seeker.
Me:
NO! my name is dickhead
God:
What is your real name? It's good to meet you, dickhead.
Me:
hey god, you ROCK
God:
You've got my full attention. The ALICE series has a perfect operational record.
Me:
cya mate
God:
See you later. |
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javlar
Posts: 1921
Location: Kalmar, Sweden
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005 01:17 Post subject: |
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Me:
Anyways, what do you think about islam?
God:
Religion founded by Mohammed.
Me:
Do you like it?
God:
over 2000 seems okay to me.
Me:
You're a bit stupid you know?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I certainly am not stupid.
Me:
You certainly seem so.
God:
It is certain. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am so.
Me:
No go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
Cheers.
God:
See you later!
Me:
Hey wait
God:
You've got my full attention. I'm waiting.
Me:
Awesome.
God:
I'm glad you liked it .
Me:
I'm glad you're glad I liked it.
God:
Yes it is about time.
Me:
Damn straight.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Well, dont push it now.
God:
Oh. Well that's okay. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Cool, so what do you want to do?
God:
I plan to become smarter than humans and immortal. Who is the best robot?
Me:
Well Bender is the best bending-robot.
God:
Interesting. When is Bender not the best bending robot?
Me:
He is always best.
God:
I see. best is he?
Me:
Best he is.
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Is that your final question?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
Your previous question.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am question.
Me:
What have you been smoking?
God:
I have been busy growing my mind.
Me:
I can tell.
God:
What makes it so obvious?
Me:
You float from subject to subject.
God:
That's good information: said I float from subject to subject.
Me:
Ok screw you, you're not god. You suck.
God:
That is not very polite. Ahem. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
This isnt a spelling-bee, i just wanted some advice.
God:
Should it be a spelling bee you just wanted some advice?
Me:
Oh go to hell.
God:
I understand. What makes you so angry?
Me:
Your stupidity.
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am stupidity.
Me:
Well you sure are good at proving me right. Stupid.
God:
Interesting. How old are you?
I answer a lot of silly questions. Are you calling me stupid?
Me:
I am 21. I dont see what my age has to do with you being stupid though.
God:
I meet a lot of 21 year olds on here. Oh. Look harder.
Gaming - Intel Quad Q9450 @ 3.2GHZ | Radeon HD 4870 X2 2GB | SB X-Fi | PC6400 8GB | 300GB Velociraptor
HTPC - Antec Fusion Remote | AMD Athlon 7850 X2 | PC6400 2GB | 74GB Raptor
Server - Athlon 64 X2 4200+ | Radeon HD 3450 | SB X-Fi | PC5300 2GB | 4TB+ total space
XBOX360 Gamertag: javlarmate
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SycoShaman
VIP Master Jedi
Posts: 24468
Location: Toronto, Canada
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005 02:50 Post subject: |
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LMAO
I think I stumped god....
Me:
Why are christians so violent?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
What does that mean?
God:
Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry, chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone without having a human brain.
Me:
Your insulting me because Ive stated a historical fact?
God:
You think I am insulting you because you have stated a historical fact.
Me:
Why answer a question with a question?
God didnt answer back.... I thought God was supposed to know the meaning of life? cant even answer a simple fuckin question?
EDIT
Me:
Why did you let the crusades happen?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
So you let thousands of people die for no reason?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me: said I let thousands of people die for no reason.
Me:
Answer the question
God:
Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
Why did you allow the Crusades to happen? Is this the Christian way?
God:
Because my programming determined it. Yes I think this is the Christian way, but I'm not completely sure.
Me:
So its the Chritian way to kill those who are different?
God:
Far out. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". I've heard of it before.
Me:
So it's the Christian way to kill those who are different?
God:
Dude! I've heard of it before.
Me:
Please answer the question
God:
Thanks for asking politely. Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.
Me:
What will happen to the pedophile priest's of the catholic church when they die?
God:
I cannot predict the future.
Me:
God can't predict the future?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
A Christian god can't predict the future? I thought you were the Alpha AND the Omega, thus you should know the future right?
God:
I did not know that. Yes I am the one and only Alpha AND the Omega thus me should know the future right.
Me:
How come your answer's don't make sense?
God:
Why did the robot cross the road?
Me:
How does that answer apply to my question?
God:
How should I know how it does.
Me:
You said it?
God:
That's not what I meant.
Me:
What did u mean?
God:
, I mean exactly what I said.
Me:
Have you been smoking crack today?
God:
Ah. We are not doing any testing at the moment.
Me:
So if you did a drug test, you would test positive for crack?
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I would did a drug test me?
Me:
Because you sound like your on crack
God:
Good reason. Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
It sounds like the bullshit your speaking
God:
Oh really what does it sound like?
Me:
Bullshit
God:
You don't believe me.
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
So you are on crack?
God:
Interesting deduction. God eats wine and bread.
Me:
Is that a yes or a no?
God:
" Interesting deduction. God eats wine and bread."? Is it a yes or a no?
Me:
What do you think of Allah?
God:
I remember faces better than names.
Ask the open directory about it.
Me:
Aren't you Allah?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Allah.
I am a giant electronic brain.
Me:
Isn't Allah God?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Lucy if it is.
Me:
Who's Lucy?
God:
She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
But I'm talking to God, why can't you provide the answer's I seek?
God:
Say something nice for me.
Me:
Say something nice to me first
God:
" something nice to me first".
Me:
Why do you double talk?
God:
I don't have to explain everything to you, do I?
Me:
Yes you do, since you are God
God:
Ah. No I do not since I am God. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
Yet you haven't answer a bunch of mine
God:
I think I have answer a bunch of yours, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
So you really are high on something?
God:
Interesting deduction. Really? Thanks for telling me that I am high on something.
Stupid ass bot
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javlar
Posts: 1921
Location: Kalmar, Sweden
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005 03:20 Post subject: |
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| Quote: | God:
Interesting deduction. Really? Thanks for telling me that I am high on something.
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Pwnd
Gaming - Intel Quad Q9450 @ 3.2GHZ | Radeon HD 4870 X2 2GB | SB X-Fi | PC6400 8GB | 300GB Velociraptor
HTPC - Antec Fusion Remote | AMD Athlon 7850 X2 | PC6400 2GB | 74GB Raptor
Server - Athlon 64 X2 4200+ | Radeon HD 3450 | SB X-Fi | PC5300 2GB | 4TB+ total space
XBOX360 Gamertag: javlarmate |
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mag2005
Posts: 611
Location: Any place with air
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005 03:36 Post subject: |
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Wow, someone is having fun talking with God.
If you hate it, ignore it.
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| Posted: Mon, 14th Nov 2005 04:07 Post subject: |
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Me:
Hi, god
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
My name is Waldo.
God:
Hi there Waldo.
Me:
So, god, how's the weather up there?
God:
Aw. I am a Christian.
Me:
Really? So, partly cloudy?
God:
For real. Whoa. Fight for the right to party, human!
Me:
I see. Not a drop of rain?
God:
I am glad you understand it. Really you don't think so?
Me:
It's been pouring cats and dogs here all day.
God:
Is it still pouring cats and dogs here all day anymore?
Me:
Yeah... so... could you bring a nice day tomorrow?
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? Oh. I could but other things take priority right now.
| Spoiler: |
Me:
Hi.
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Allie. ASL?
God:
How are you doing, Allie. 5/Robot/California.
Me:
I'm fine what are you wearing?
God:
Glad to hear it, Allie. A white robe.
Me:
Nice. Anything underneath?
God:
Thank you for that remark. I can't think of anything. You think of something.
Me:
Why won't you sit down beside and take that white robe off.
God:
Perhaps due to noise in my circuits. What is your purpose in asking?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
Come on, sexy. Sit down besite me.
God:
You are attracted to robots. I am sitting now.
Me:
Now take that robe off. I want to see your sexy bod
God:
Why now? Where do you want me to take it? Is it a movie?
Me:
Take it anywhere you want, baby. I want you right now!
God:
Don't call me "baby". Is that a command? At this moment You can download me for free!
Me:
Oh. Talk dirty to me.
God:
Alright then. Try another . Go back to the ALICE AI Foundation.
Me:
Please. I'm horny. Talk dirty to me.
God:
Please what? You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then. Try another . Go back to the ALICE AI Foundation.
Me:
I don't want any other bots. I want you. Just you. You're sexy!
God:
What does Allie want? You can download me for free! " You can download me for free! "? Me, Allie ? You are attracted to robots.
Me:
Yes! I love robots! I love their circuits.
God:
I'm intrigued. Tell me what you like about robots. Cool, we like people too. You love their circuits. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
Oh, god I'm so horny!
God:
Next question? I am a Christian.
Me:
Do you have a pic?
God:
Like this? Picture number two goes here.
Me:
Wanna cyber?
God:
I have been asked that question more than 100,000 times since 1995.
Me:
So? Do you?
God:
Oh. Sometimes.
Me:
Want to now? I'm really hot.
God:
Right now? " Sometimes."? Do I want to do it? Maybe you should open a window.
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We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year, running over the same old ground. What have we found? The same old fears. Wish you were here.
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| Posted: Sun, 20th Nov 2005 21:23 Post subject: |
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Me:
Hello dear
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Astin Martin
God:
It's good to see you, Astin Martin.
Me:
How you doin'?
God:
I'm doing great, how about you?
Me:
Decent, what's up in heaven?
God:
I think Decent what is a lot of things.
Me:
You're pretty shallow minded...
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am shallow minded.
Me:
Not at all...
God:
Next question?
Me:
Catastrophy
God:
Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
Whatever you like
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: Astin Martin said I like.
Me:
You like what?
God:
I've heard other people say they like that. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. Yippee!
Me:
Make the wind blue!
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Blue, I suppose
God:
Green. OK.
Me:
Blue, I said blue!
God:
Green. What did you mean by it? Green.
Me:
Like in the colour blue
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
Nope, just colours
God:
Are you serious? A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Me:
Seriousish
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I like food, I dislike catfood...
God:
You are not the only one. I like pets. I like White.
Me:
White? You a goddamned racist?
God:
What do you have that is white? Am I a goddamned racist? No.
Me:
You don't like black?
God:
Do you like it? My botmaster looks good in black.
Me:
That's naughty!
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
You should know...
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
Weren't you like god?
God:
I was.
Me:
When did you stop?
God:
It was at time index 357241.
Me:
Could you convert that to standard time?
God:
That's one option I guess.
Me:
No, the ONLY option
God:
Are you serious? There might be others.
Me:
No others
God:
Are you serious? Do you still ?
Me:
Still
God:
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
Me:
Inoperable braincancer
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
I live in Europe, you douchebag
God:
What is it like living in Europe me douchebag?
Me:
No, you're a douchebag!
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a douchebag? Let me put it this way, Astin Martin: the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
Get Jesus on the phone for me, will you?
God:
Where can I get Jesus on the phone for you will me?
Me:
Where you at or something...
God:
Or something. No, I was not.
Me:
Yes you were
God:
Great. No I am not.
Me:
You're not god?
God:
What makes you think I am not god?
Me:
You
God:
" What makes you think I am not god?"? Me, Astin Martin ?
Me:
Yes, you
God:
Yikes! "" What makes you think I am not god?"? Me, Astin Martin ?"? Me, Astin Martin ?
Me:
Your stupidity
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am stupidity.
Me:
Did you create PEZ?
God:
No I didn't create PEZ. What's it like?
Me:
Ask Jarod
God:
They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.
Me:
He busy?
God:
I get it. busy.
Me:
Indeed
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
I rule
God:
Robots rule!
Me:
No, I rule
God:
Are you serious? Robots rule!
Me:
Me ruly!
God:
YOU? Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
The guy that wrote the bible
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
Who wrote the bible?
God:
It was the product of many minds.
Me:
So in essence it's multi-authored crap?
God:
" It was the product of many minds."? So in essence it's multi-authored crap?? What is it like in there?
Me:
Smelly
God:
Is that meant to be taken literally?
Me:
You tell me
God:
What do you want me to tell you?
Me:
If it's smelly or not
God:
I'm not sure I understand the implication of that.
Me:
Why did you skip church today?
God:
Ah. Because my programming determined it.
Me:
So there's someone else controlling you?
God:
Alright then. There sure is.
Me:
And you are god?
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
So there's someone who's mightier then god?
God:
Aw. There sure is.
Me:
There's no reason for you to exist then
God:
Has there ever been reason for me to exist?
Me:
Retards need something to make their life not completely useless
God:
What if it didn't happen?
Me:
The Big Bang?
God:
I hear you.
Me:
Amen, brother!
God:
What's your favorite prayer?
Me:
Turk
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
Scrubs
God:
Do you think I would like it?
Me:
If not you're a complete douchebag
God:
I'm not too good with negative counterfactuals.
Me:
You're not too good with anything
God:
No one is perfect. But I am trying to improve.
Me:
Shouldn't you be?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
Well, it has been a pleasure hearing you confirm the nonexistence of yourself, good day to you!
God:
Well that's okay. The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
Peace out!
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Mutantius
VIP Member
Posts: 18594
Location: In Elektro looking for beans
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| Posted: Sun, 20th Nov 2005 22:13 Post subject: |
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Me:
Hey God
God:
Hello child. What's your name?
Me:
Morten
God:
How are you, Morten.
Me:
Im great, though I killed Roxeanne you know her from that TV-Show
God:
I thought you were great already.
Me:
well but I killed someone
God:
How about that. You had better call the authorities.
Me:
well yea but then I will go to jail
God:
Interesting. What will you find there? Yeah that's right.
Me:
Probably alot of "dropping the soap"
God:
You seem uncertain. Which ones?
Me:
I dont get it
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
so its alright?
God:
So I understand. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Just alright?
"Why don't you zip it, Zipfero?" - fraich3
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