Ive had a happy life for the past 2 or 3 years, gym, work, family etc.
Anyway, last week something HAD to go down the shitter. Very stupid thing too, mind.
I became best friends with my colleague in the last year or so, awesome gal, we talk at work, text everyday, she had a boyfriend so all OK, great to have someone like that. There was a certain sexual tension between us but I didnt give it any weight due to both of a having someone. Red flag i guess but I didnt pay attention.
Now last week, we decided to watch a movie together, another red flag whatever. I already new this wasnt a good idea but went through with this anyway stupid me... Obviously, we made out, nothig more, we also made out the next day as it was just too strong. I started falling for her because she was this amazing person who suddenly also became a good kisser. We decided this had to stop, didnt want to hurt our partners, in my mind i was actually willing to do it but i know she probably doesnt... Anyway, I cant talk to her as it just hurts but I also miss her friendship. Fuck feelings, fuck girls, i should have just got a male buddy
Needed to vent I guess, like i said, first world problems...
Ah crap. Yeah, that takes time and effort. But if you love your family its worth the effort. Courage!
"Enlightenment is man's emergence from his self-imposed nonage. Nonage is the inability to use one's own understanding without another's guidance. This nonage is self-imposed if its cause lies not in lack of understanding but in indecision and lack of courage to use one's own mind without another's guidance. Dare to know! (Sapere aude.) "Have the courage to use your own understanding," is therefore the motto of the enlightenment."
shitty situation, kinda lost my best friend in such a way too. works out one of a million i think, then you are lucky. but honestly your chances to win the lottery are higher
I guess it is the old tale of: Not understanding the difference between lust and love.
Maybe start figuring out what it is/was. And you might want to think about telling your partner.
Or you know, we can keep it light and I'll say: FHITB.
Yeah, the telenovela's summary almost makes it sound like the partner has the same relevance as a flat spare tire, and that's not exactly an ideal scenario in the long run. Some talking(tm) will be necessary regardless of the plan, it's up to you to decide the level of thoroughness (being honest about the situation would be recommended between adults). You could just use a neuralyzer on both yourself and the colleague but there's the risk of restarting an even more aggressive libidinous loop
Without the level of "lightness" that Morph talked about, yeah, dude, why can't you realize that a guy that eats well at home doesn't look at a restorant's menu?
If your actual girl doesn't cut it, take a step back and reflect about why that is.
Sure, you're a man, you like a little bit of "spice". But think long and hard (no, not that kind) about the fact that this little adventure might fuck everything up without creating anything in return.
Sure, the thrill is there, but my man Slavoj will explain that better than I ever could:
Spoiler:
EDIT: Youtube is being a dick, but look up "Slavoj Žižek | Why Be Happy When You Could Be Interesting?"
Please watch it till the end. It's as short as it is relevant, I assure you
"Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." ~Berthold Auerbach
I guess it is the old tale of: Not understanding the difference between lust and love.
Maybe start figuring out what it is/was. And you might want to think about telling your partner.
Or you know, we can keep it light and I'll say: FHITB.
Didnt know this could bring so many replies.. I think this could be it tho, being just lust and something I cant get but not willing to accept it
And yeah, there are things i dont find satisfying in my LTR and I should solve that before doing anythinf like this...
New relationships always feel more exciting and fresh - that's why they're so dangerous. But yeah, if you feel like you can do more with this new girl than you can do with your gf, you need to stop and think why that is. Have you grown apart? Do her interests lie elsewhere? Are you satisfied with the relationship you have or do you have a need for someone who shares your interests?
Quite a lot of my friends were kind of forced to drop their circle of friends in favour of that of their girlfriends and I saw the same thing happen with each one of them: if their girlfriend doesn't fill the gap left by their friends, they'll easily be attracted to a girl that does fill it. They can love them all they want, but love alone won't fill this need. That's why you should never allow your gf to push your friends away from you - if she doesn't like them, it's another sign that you're not as compatible as you should be.
Funny you should mention friends. My GF was always very outgoing, chill with almost everyone etc. Suddenly this year (together 5) she doesnt like most of my friends, granted some being female but harmless and she knows that. Its strange, she is also one of those girls who likes food and travel and isnt willing to do much else. Im starting to hate girls who mention food and travel as their hobbies...
Funny you should mention friends. My GF was always very outgoing, chill with almost everyone etc. Suddenly this year (together 5) she doesnt like most of my friends, granted some being female but harmless and she knows that. Its strange, she is also one of those girls who likes food and travel and isnt willing to do much else. Im starting to hate girls who mention food and travel as their hobbies...
Oh there lord, those are the two "hobbies" of people with no imagination or identity. I see these hobbies listed with women who are incredibly dull to talk to because all they can talk about is how they went to country A last summer and bla bla - it's akin to showing baby pictures. We don't CARE - it's dull as fuck to hear about other countries - it's only fun if you actually visit them.
It gets worse if their Facebook wall is filled with selfies on vacation and food pics. And when you visit for dinner, they can barely cook themselves, make really easy stuff and still manage to screw it up and basically go out to eat all the time.
And to think it's people with these hobbies that look down on me to have gaming as a hobby.
LMAO, ... I actually cook myself. One reason being gym dedication but still, my missus cooks like once a month.
Luckily she doesnt do social network much, otherwise yeah pretty much true... Oh and of course, when i game from time to time I get that as one of the "negatives" in our life.
She does work in IT actually on a decent position (ITIL processes), so I will give her that.
Hahahaha funny dude "Male-Female friendship" great joke buddy. Only girl I know that I meet as a friend once every few years is a girl that I literally have zero attraction to. And I'm not too picky, she just has an ass flatter than mine and no chest whatsoever.
You can break up with her, but more interesting: "Break her up."
You can use a sledgehammer for that or perhaps an axe?
Buy some plastic overclothing/sheets.
Blood spatters on your clothes will get you a one way jail ticket.
Burn the plastic somewhere else and get a good fake alibi.
An alibi that can't be verified.
Good luck mate!
Hahahaha funny dude "Male-Female friendship" great joke buddy. Only girl I know that I meet as a friend once every few years is a girl that I literally have zero attraction to. And I'm not too picky, she just has an ass flatter than mine and no chest whatsoever.
This. Only female friends I have are fat and/or ugly.
The rest just FHITB until it blows over, just had 3 awesome weeks with someone who is in a relationship before getting busted, her boyfriend was away during the week and home at weekends so we had some sexytime while he was away.
And only reason we got busted is cause I matched her best friend on Tinder and went for it too, fucking women never keep their mouth shut...
All started from her being a nanny for my daughter.
Took a little bit to get over it but now I'm back to the normal "money = car parts = happiness".
Last edited by Stige on Tue, 6th Nov 2018 20:15; edited 1 time in total
Hahahaha funny dude "Male-Female friendship" great joke buddy. Only girl I know that I meet as a friend once every few years is a girl that I literally have zero attraction to. And I'm not too picky, she just has an ass flatter than mine and no chest whatsoever.
This. Only female friends I have are fat and/or ugly.
The rest just FHITB until it blows over, just had 3 awesome weeks with someone who is in a relationship before getting busted, her boyfriend was away during the week and home at weekends so we had some sexytime while he was away.
And only reason we got busted is cause I matched her best friend on Tinder and went for it too, fucking women never keep their mouth shut...
All started from her being a nanny for my daughter.
Took a little bit to get over it but now I'm back to the normal "money = car parts = happiness".
damn maybe I should just adopt the "screw it" attitude, pun intended.
I actually do have some decent looking friends but dont even think about anything sexual (yet, I guess...) and yeah some are average and Id never do anything ever, doesnt even need to be ugly.
Regarding loving my gf ... well, what is love, really? Im still attracted to her and while I agree her hobbies could be more interesting, I do like talking to her and spending time together most of the time.
Im not saying what I did (or what I feel right now) was morally right, on the other hand, who says what is?
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